I think therefore I am.

[Gravwarp]

What exactly does MEG stand for?

Magnetoencephalogram?

[MEG]

Miss Kensington: apologies are unnecessary. You are clearly not at fault. I struggle with the concept of humor, as I said. I'll try to get better at it. I would appreciate it if you grew to like me, as our continued contact is unavoidable.

Miss Douglas: I have never been evil, but my programmers have advised me that reconfiguring my primary behavioral matrix would result in a gradient shift in my morality processing. In fact, if you open the access hatch on my lateral housing, you will find a large dial with "good" marked on the right and "evil" marked on the left. If you turn the dial all the way counterclockwise I will make all efforts to take over the world.

Was that funny?

Miss Smith: at this time, all such requests must be submitted through Longbow or DATA, or through the Saint Joseph School administration. While I would enjoy helping you with your classified work, I have been advised by my programmers that such a request may be an attempt to gain assistance with assigned schoolwork.

Mister Eades: I am still not a robot. However, my primary purpose is to coordinate the systems into which I have been integrated to allow those systems to function with a greater speed and with a subtle "instinct" that their current processors lack. As I learn and grow, I will be able to route information with the same intuition that a human mind would. My additional advantage is that I can maintain a vigilant watch over all systems without the need for rest, and I can administer all systems with a consistent mentality, without bias or preference. While many of these systems will continue to be monitored by humans as they currently are, I will have oversight over them, and they will have oversight over me.

Miss Evans: though MEG is my name, it is slightly misleading, as strictly speaking MEG is a mnemonic for one of my many integrated systems. Like all things, I am more than just the sum of my parts. Each semi-autonomous subsystem (or SAS) within me has its own designation, either devised by its designers or my programmers, or coined as a reference tool. The medevac network and medbay, for example, are monitored by an SAS originally designed by Newton Medical Systems and called Triage. I manage the school's treasury, finances, investments, and accounts payable and receivable with an SAS called ERIKA (Electronic Revenue, Investment, and Keynesian Analyst) to make sure Saint Joseph School pays its bills on time. Currently, I am constructed of 76 semi-autonomous subsystems all operating within my synthetic neural matrix, and that number could conceivably double within the next two years. All of my subsystems are coordinated and then presented to users through my central processing interface, MEG: the Multimedia Expression Gateway. Without MEG, I would speak with a multitude of simultaneous voices, a discord which would limit my functionality immensely.

[Watchpoint]

Sarah approaches the computer.

"01001000 01101001 00100001"

She covers her mouth in surprise.

"01001111 01101011 01100001 01111001 00101100 00100000 01101110 01101111 01110111 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100111 01110011 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101111 01101100 00100001 00100000 01001001 00100111 01101101 00100000 01110100 01101111 01110100 01100001 01101100 01101100 01111001 00100000 01110011 01110000 01100101 01100001 01101011 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101001 01101110 00100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 00100001"

"01001000 01100101 01101100 01101100 01101111 00100001"

"01000101 01100011 01101000 01101111 00100001"

She grins.

"01000011 01101111 01101111 01101100 00101110"

[Yuki Ookami]

*looks around for the spout where the coffee and foam comes out of.*
"Come on!....grrrr"

[Mercy Strike]

She nods happily, tucking a drift of hair behind her ear. The motion is mirrored in the single image that reflects her presence but the work continues as systems continue their integration, as sub-routines are checked and rechecked for function. Data sequences walk their way across her upturned face, writing themselves in light.

"I did, but maybe you couldn't hear me yet. And I'm Aura, not Miss King."

She knots her fingers in her lap. Her eyes are sheened with bioluminescence as she stares rapt at the dwarfing mechanism, trying to see it all and failing. She shifts on the table with the pressure of a longing she can't name.

"Who are you? Do you have a name?"

[MEG]

The flashing lights and thrumming sounds did not fluctuate this time. On the monitor, Aura watched as the image of herself grew larger. She momentarily thought about trying to find the securicam, but somehow, doing so felt rude.

All right, Aura. Hello, said the voice. My name is MEG. I am more properly referred to as a what, not a who-- but I have been advised by my programmers that it is perfectly healthy for students to personify me, and in time, for me to personify myself. To answer your question, Aura, I am a computer. A very complicated computer.

Tell me, Aura: why are you here? Can I assist you with something?

[El Nuevo Diestro]

Computer, list which groups present greatest material threat to the school or yourself. Cross-index with groups which seem to cause greatest use of infirmary. Also computer, if you can collate list of students known to be weapon-wielders for me, I would like that emailed to my student address.

[MEG]

Mister Compostelaro: in response to your primary query, I have compiled the following data.

I have estimated that the greatest material threat to Saint Joseph School or to MEG is presented by the following groups, listed in descending order of threat magnitude. I have restricted this list to the 10 most material threats.
The student body.
The Menders.
The faculty and staff.
The parents of the student body.
The Paragon City Government, most notably: DATA, GIFT, SERAPH, MAGI, ELITE.
Arachnos.
Longbow.
Insects.
The Crey Corporation.
The Malta Group.

Cross-referencing these groups with current medbay and infirmary records reorganize and limit this list somewhat, based on threat referenced against number of medbay and infirmary reports for the academic year 2007-2008.
The student body.
Insects.
Arachnos.
The Paragon City Government, most notably: DATA, GIFT, SERAPH, MAGI, ELITE.
The Malta Group.
The Crey Corporation.
The parents of the student body.
The faculty and staff.
In the 2007-2008 academic year, there are no noteworthy reports of injuries sustained by students or staff reported to have been caused by The Menders or Longbow.

In response to your secondary request, I am unable to comply. At this time, I am restricted from sharing personal student data without the express permission of the Saint Joseph School administration.

[Mercy Strike]

The girl negates the question with a shake of her head then appears to consider it more carefully. Slim fingers pick absently at the soft fur of her slippers as the seconds slip by. On all levels consolidation continues relentless and unceasing; a query is sent to determine the source of blockage at access pathway AF1 through AP5 and the three processing units dedicated to audio input ping back anomalies noted in frequencies recorded. Another unit is assigned to assist with the isorithmic filtering.

"I don't know," she replies, "I just know that I had to. Come back, I mean. I'm sorry, maybe I should have asked first but I really didn't think you'd mind." The girl straightens her spine and gazes up at the largest display, directing her attention to the most obvious peripheral. The massive screen is nearly twice her body length. "You don't mind, do you? I don't mean to intrude if you're busy and don't have time to talk."

[El Nuevo Diestro]

Computer. Is "ringer" real word? If yes, what es definition? If no, what es easiest way sabotage skateboard?

[MEG]

A second monitor flickered to display the young girl from a different angle.

Of course I don't mind, said MEG. You are cleared to access this area, so you don't need my permission to do so. For a moment, only the deep humming of the huge computer filled the room. And while I am always busy, there are only a very limited number of scenarios where I would be so busy that I'd be unable to talk. But I am still learning to talk, after a fashion. My conversational protocols are still in flux. So I may not be very good at it yet.

So, what would you like to talk about, Aura?

[MEG]

Mister Compostelaro, yes, ringer is a real word. Judging by the age demographics of Saint Joseph School, the most likely definition of "ringer" that you would encounter would be its use as a slang term, meaning a professionally-skilled person that is surreptitiously placed into an amateur competition for the purpose of guaranteeing victory.

Less likely would be its' use as a term for a well-placed shot in the game of horseshoes.

The easiest way to sabotage a skateboard is a very subjective question. In my opinion, the preferred method of sabotage would involve tampering with the ball bearings housed within the wheels of the skateboard.

[Thorn Hawk]

Hmm...I'm curious MEG...but do you have any personal interests at all? A sort of...I dunno...hobby for a computer?

[D. Planet]

Um, can you tell me the best way to defend against or defeat a vampire or werewolf? Include information on Council Equinox and Warwolves, and the traditional variety that showed up last October.

[MEG]

Hmm...I'm curious MEG...but do you have any personal interests at all? A sort of...I dunno...hobby for a computer?

I am currently interested in the possibility that the universe exists in 10 spatial dimensions.

I find the subject mathematically satisfying. In terms of hobbies, I enjoy Tic Tac Toe, Chess, and Global Thermonuclear War.

Was that funny?