Whining & Dining (Dining Reviews By The Students)

[Gabriel Templar]

Pizza Roundup

So, you're a new kid, and you've been tasked with sallying forth and bringing in pizza. Problem is, there's about 40 different places with prices ranging from usurious to dirt cheap and qualities ranging from barely edible to completely inedible, and delivery speed ranging somewhere from earnestly attempting to break the world land-Kia speed record to about as fast as a slow thing on strike. Here's the quick rundown.


Pizza Pile: The restaurant's name conjures up the image of a gelled pile of pizza-like substance slithering along a table, at least if you're anything like me. if you just got that same mental image, congradulations, you've just pictured their $4.99 lunch/dinner special. Despite the fact their wafer-thin crust leads to the unfortunate appearance of a semi-ambulatory sheet of cheese, it's actually surprisingly good: real cheese, the meat is plentiful and good and they'll do toppings by the quarter pizza if your group is exceptionally picky. Cheap, decent tasting, the only ding is they don't deliver. Bring a plastic bag to cover your seats when you pick it up. * *

Bob's: with the opening of their newest location not far from campus Bob's is becoming a fast favorite with the local students at St. Joe's and the local branch of PPS. It's not cheap, but it's not all that expensive either; you get what you pay for. The perfect fuel for a sleepover or a big party, if you're willing to shell out 20 bucks for a large anyway. The high price is the one downside, other than that and the fact they've been extremely busy lately. Expect orders to take 50 minutes or more on a friday night. * * *

Pizza Concepts LTD. : Started by a pair of Portalcorp scientists as a side job about 3 years ago, Pizza Concepts is a hard-to-find company. Their offices MAY be in Independance Port, they might possibly have a pizza kitchen somewhere in Peregrine Island, or possibly Talos. Pizza Concepts does do normal pizzas, and they do them quite well. The prices are even fairly reasonable (large 1-topping: $18).
The prices are somewhat offset by the large 'delivery fee', anywhere from 25 to 50 dollars depending on your location, however. Through the miracle that is portaltech, they gaurantee you your pizza in five minutes or less (barring dimensional stabilizer interference or metahuman intervention). Under 30 minutes if you're outside dimensional offset #1143/1165/122.5, also know as our dimension, or outside the 555 area code.
Where Pizza Concepts really shines is their creation of absolutely strange and wonderful pizzas you can't find anywhere else. In fact they have a standard 25,000 dollar offer to anyone that can name a pizza they cannot make. This has lead to pizzas being bombarded by nuclear reactors, thrown into particle accelerators, pizzas that have to be delivered inside magnetic containment fields to prevent them from anhilating all matter in their immediate area, pizzas that were considered class-3 biotoxins and one mythic pizza that scored a perfect 4/4/4 on the NTSB chemical diamond (4 reactivity, 4 flammability, 4 toxcicity, with the added bonus it was a strong oxidizer). As well as one unspeakable pizza that somehow contained mayonaise.
If you don't mind the fact that your pizza purchase may be buying arms for the sky raiders, they deliver faster than anyone in town, even faster than the short-lived RocketPizz or Mach V, and can make you anything your heart desires; if you can pay for it. Recently a group of superheroes has taken it upon themselves to try to injure Pizza Concepts' cashflow by getting as many 25 thousand prizes out of them as possible. The only success so far was scored by Dr. Richard Keyes, who asked for one large pepperoni, half matter, half anti-matter. * * * *