The Nature of Darkness

[Vesper Fiend]

The dream came again.

She woke in the middle of the night to a noiseless room. There was no sound at all, no ambient noise from the rest of the building, no gentle sigh of air through the duct. With her ears struggling to hear something, anything, she could understand why such a silence could be called deafening. Even the rapidly increasing beat of her own heart made no sound in her ears. Knowing what she would see, she sat up in bed and took stock of her surroundings. The room was dark. No light shone into the room around or beneath the door or window dressings. Yet in the darkness everything was clearly visible. Colors were vibrant to the point of being garish and each object stood out against the others with otherworldly contrast. The entire room was painted in precise, crisp detail, except the figure standing by the door.

Vesper stared at the figure, trying yet again to make out something more about it. Consisting of an inky, black cloud, it was indistinct, with no specific features to be seen. It was humanoid, with what seemed to be two legs and possibly two arms. It stood between five and six feet tall, though even its height seemed to shift subtly as the cloud swirled and undulated. With no discernable face there was no way to know if the figure was facing toward or away from her until some movement, some obvious change in stance revealed it.

Still looking back at the figure, Vesper wondered, "Is this a dream? It feels like something more." She couldn’t imagine why it bothered to haunt her dreams, but it was becoming more frequent. This marked the eighth, no, the ninth time that she was consciously aware of it, and she was almost certain it was connected to her powers. She could “sense” the being, if sense was the right word. It emanated the same feelings that she had come to associate with the “dark energies” that she could summon.

Dark energies… Sometimes Vesper scared herself with the things that she found herself doing. A week or two ago she dropped her opponent by stealing his life energies, absorbing them so that she could heal herself. Even more recently, she was facing a rather large group of Skulls, nothing serious, but there were so many of them. She grew weary, on the verge of being unable to maintain her tenuous connection to… whatever she got her power from. She felt an untapped energy source, and through the forces at her disposal, a pathway to it. Without thinking she latched onto it, causing exhaustion to vanish as six Skulls dropped to the pavement almost in unison. Again, she had tapped their life forces, not to heal this time, but to replenish her own flagging energy reserves.

It felt… well, wrong and unnatural. There was no clearer way for her to describe it. At the same time, it felt as cool as a spring breeze and as comforting as a caring embrace. She sensed the same from the murky shape before her. Waves of cooling comfort intermingled with the feeling that something was very wrong within the space that the being occupied. It was as if the world was broken at that very spot. "That’s it," she suddenly realized. "When I use my powers… It feels like something’s broken, me or the world, I don’t know which, but something." As wrong as it felt, though, it somehow felt so right. That euphoric flood of supernatural energy, profound and more pleasurable than the most incredible drug-induced high, and the cravings she sometimes thought she felt for it, terrified her most of all.

For several long moments, she simply sat and stared at the nebulous form. Gradually, the stillness was replaced by a quiet whispering. Sibilant and barely audible, it slowly grew into something akin to speech, but it was still far too soft and distant for any words to come through clearly. The figure, now obviously facing her, raised a single hand, as if reaching out. The whispering became urgent, almost pleading, but grew no clearer. The figure took a step towards her, and Vesper’s heartbeat would have thundered in her ears if she could have only heard it. The inky blackness ceased its advance, still except for the swirling motion within it. The hand dropped and a wave of disappointment and longing filled the air before the cloud spun madly and collapsed. Vestiges of wispy smoke fading into nothing sighed quietly but clearly a single word, “Aleyne.”

Vesper opened her eyes to the see the ceiling above her. Her pulse pounded in her ears as she propped herself up and looked toward the door. There was no one there. The room was dark and quiet, the normal sights and sounds of the night greeting her senses, quelling the minor panic she had felt on waking. Lying down, she pulled the blanket up around herself and stared at the ceiling. She thought she was getting used to the dream by now, but never before had the rippling phantasm spoken an understandable word, much less her name. The logical part of her mind assured her that it made sense, in a dream, for others to know the name she never used. They were merely representations of her own subconscious after all. But… What if it wasn’t just a dream?

It had to be connected to her abilities. It was hard enough knowing what she could do with those abilities. What she couldn’t stand was not knowing how or why. What was the source of this strange power? Was there something deeper to her concerns, perhaps something she could sense subconsciously, or was she merely discomforted by the pace at which she was learning to use her powers? Most of all, what was this entity that she saw in her dreams, shadowing her with the same presence she had always felt watching over her, taunting her ears with the same whispers she had always heard whenever she tapped into this strange source, this “Netherworld” she was supposedly able to tap into? What did it want with her?

All she had was questions; questions and no answers. Sighing to herself, she raised her head just enough to look toward the door again. Everything felt right for the moment. Content that the little piece of the world inside this room was intact for now, she drifted back into a restless sleep.

[Vesper Fiend]

Vesper sat in the library, with a disorganized pile of books on the table in front of her. Trying hard not to nod off, she started sifting through them a fourth time struggling to remember again which ones she was interested in and which ones she had already decided were useless to her. She had been reading for hours and everything was starting to blend together. Leaning her head into her hand, she rubbed absently at her forehead as she thought back to the meeting several weeks ago. She tried to push it away, but it kept coming back to her, frustratingly persistent.

******************************

Vesper strode purposefully through the marble lobby toward the bank of elevators on the far wall. Though she felt slightly intimidated by the handful of well-dressed, business-suit types conversing in the room, she wasn’t about to allow feelings of trepidation alter her course. The elevator took her to the floor indicated on the business card, depositing her into another, smaller lobby. She noticed the décor was done in dark, earthy colors with lots of heavy wood furniture, heavy and foreboding.

The woman behind the dark walnut desk looked cold and sterile, with a face that might have been made of porcelain for all the feeling it showed. She was simultaneously punching keys on a computer keyboard and speaking to an unseen person through a headset. The phone call seemingly over, she turned and smiled, and Vesper thought at first that her face would shatter. Instead, the woman’s face became warm and brightened as the smile spread to her eyes, and a kind, friendly voice spoke.

“Hello, dear. I hope you’re having a great afternoon! What can I do for you today?”

“I’m here to see Jeremy Nease. I have an appointment.”

The woman turned briefly to the computer screen. “Miss Kensington? Yes, you’re expected…”

Vesper frowned and corrected her. “Vesper. It’s just Vesper.”

The rest of the brief conversation was a mix of pleasantries and offers for refreshments as the young woman led Vesper down a hallway and into a large corner office. The lighter shades and maple desk gave the room an airy, open feel that was marred only by the heavy curtains blocking the light from entering though the windows which occupied nearly two full walls.

Once seated and left alone, she waited quietly for only a few minutes, though, as usual, it seemed far longer. Turning at the sound of the door opening, she watched as Jeremy Nease entered the room and walked towards the desk. He was a less imposing man than one might expect to encounter in such a setting, about average height and a bit more slender than most, but he had an air about him that encouraged respect. Bright eyes that seemed to take in everything were set into a thin, slightly tanned face that was slow to expose the thoughts within. She rose from her chair and extended her hand as he approached. Taking it in a firm handshake, he smiled at her.

“Vesper. It’s good to see you, though I must admit I generally don’t prefer to take appointments of this nature outside of the MAGI offices. Let’s have a seat, shall we? Then you can tell me what brings you here.” To her considerable surprise, Nease took a seat in the chair next to hers. She glanced briefly at the empty chair behind the desk before resuming her own seat.

“Now,” Nease began in a pleasant conversational tone, “I believe you had some question about your particular talents?”

Vesper took a deep breath. "Better to jump right in with both feet," she thought. “Yeah. You were the one who said I draw energy from the netherworld, but I need to know… What exactly does that mean? What is the netherworld?”

Nease scrutinized the young woman before him carefully prior to answering. “Perhaps I was rash in my words. I’ve been thinking about your case, and I doubt that you actually have a connection to the netherworld. I sense no magic about you, and a direct connection would almost certainly necessitate a magical link.”

“But you said…”

“Yes, but in hindsight I think it’s far more likely that your particular mutation gives you the ability to collect and make use of ambient negative energy from your surroundings.” Nease looked thoughtful for a moment, “Perhaps a latent psychic power, derived from your mutation, rather than a mystical connection allows you to tap into that energy and create a physical manifestation, but surely nothing mystical, and no real connection to any of the mystical netherworlds. Perhaps one of the other groups would be better suited to delve into that particular matter.”

She was momentarily taken aback by his answer. “But…” Ves stopped and swallowed her irritation. “Never mind. I’d still like to know.”

“I’m not sure that I can tell you anything that you would find useful.”

“Look…” Vesper blurted, obviously agitated. “It’s more than that. I know it’s gotta be more than that.” She latched onto a stray thought. “I heard it’s the land of the dead. You know? Spirits and demons and all? How ‘bout that?”

Nease nodded, and sighed slightly at the mundane girl, she clearly didn’t understand the nature of magic, “The dark energies typically associated with the netherworld could come from any number of mystical places. Nearly every religion and mythology has an associated land of the dead. One trained in or born to the magical arts can tap into these supernatural realms. However,” the girl started shaking her head at the change in direction, subtly at first and growing more pronounced as he continued. “You have no magical talent, either learned or …”

“That doesn’t matter!” she interrupted, snarling at the man with a little more vehemence than intended. She was starting to feel as if she was being dismissed, as if she wasn’t special enough to belong to Nease’s “magic” club. She took a deep breath and considered her next words briefly. “Whether you want to call it magic or not,” she started calmly, “I have a connection to… to something, and I know that something is not part of this world. Now, I need to find out what that something is. But I’ve got no idea how to do that.”

The man had an icy calmness in response to Vesper’s annoyance. “If you tell me which “land of the dead” you believe your powers stem from, something that is recognizable from your link to that world…” Nease clearly discounted any real link to a netherworld, dismissing the girl’s talent as something other than magical.

“That’s what I’m looking to find out.”

“Then that should be your first step, but I still feel that you’re wasting your time pursuing this.”

She bit her lip, once again holding back her initial response. “So, how do I find out?”

“If we were tracing a magical link, like one that many apprentices have, I could help, but with no traceable magic, or training…”

Vesper scowled. “Is it my time I’m wasting? Or is it yours?”

“If you must know,” Nease countered aloofly, “it’s both. You must be prepared to accept that an accident of birth may have given you a great gift, but that does not mean you have the power wield the magic of the netherworld. You’re only a mutant, after all.”

For a few moments, she simply sat there is stunned silence. “I won’t waste anymore of your time, then.” Her eyes flashed in anger as she pushed herself from the chair and strode across the room. She opened the door, stepped through, and turned halfway back towards Nease. “You don’t want me playin’ in your playground?” Vesper blurted out accusingly, “Fine! I’ll find another. But someone shoulda taught you a long time ago how to share.”

She stormed out of the building, resisting the urge to scream at the top of her lungs. She was beginning to wonder if she even wanted answers. Maybe what she wanted most was for it all to go away.

******************************

“What am I doing here?” she thought. “I’ve read this page six times already!” She had no idea what she was facing, but she had no idea where to go for help. So, she was searching, trying desperately to find some clue, some idea, but with so precious little to go on… She began reading the page again, attempting this time to absorb the content instead of merely roving over the text with her eyes. She made it halfway down the page before her eyelids started to flutter. Within a few sentences, her head decided to rest itself upon the open book, as her mind slipped into the dreamless sleep of exhaustion.

[Vesper Fiend]

More than anything else, Vesper wished that she could be someplace else at this moment. Council, Tsoo, Arachnos, or Rikti, yes, even Rikti would be better than what she was about to face on the other side of the door standing in front of her. She took a long, deep breath and slowly opened the door. Stepping into Ms. Atwood’s office, she tried hard to return the warm smile that was offered, but it felt more grimace than smile. She tried to make herself comfortable in the oversized leather chair, but it usually caused her to feel small and slightly insignificant. Fighting villains was certainly far more pleasant, not to mention far easier, than these sessions. Although she had to admit, grudgingly, that they could be helpful.

Ms. Atwood had started her sketching even before the obligatory pleasantries had been completed. Questions about school and social interactions flew by. Sure, Ves was getting to know other students. She still didn’t always know what to say, and she was nervous in large groups, but all those things were not abnormal.

“I hear that you haven’t been in touch with your advisor for a few weeks. You’ve cancelled three appointments?” Valerie watched for her reaction. Vesper was normally a little fidgety and uncomfortable in session, but today she seemed more nervous than usual.

Ves sighed, having known someone would ask about it sooner or later. “Well, yeah. I didn’t figure I needed to right now.”

“You’re not concerned with the need to practice with your powers?”

“I don’t really have much problem with the control part, and lately… Lately, I’ve been tryin’ not to use ‘em so much… And I’ve been tryin’ to avoid goin’ out on patrol so much.”

“Why is that?”

The scratching of pencil on paper filled the air as the question went unanswered for several prolonged moments. “It’s just… I don’t want to.” Ves shrugged and looked down at her lap, absently rubbing one hand with the other. The response sounded childish, petulant even, and Ms. Atwood was there to help. She knew that much, but talking about it in this setting would make her feel like a child afraid of the dark.

Valerie watched her intently, realizing the reason for her discomfort was whatever she was holding back. “Would you like to tell me why you feel that way?”

“Not really.”

“Maybe it would help. We’re here to discuss these things, after all.”

Ves shrugged noncommittally as a thought sprang to mind. “I’ve just been tryin’ to work more on physical trainin’. I’m on the baseball team, now, you know.”

Responding with another inviting smile, Valerie accepted the change in topic, much to the girl’s relief. “Really? I had no idea you were interested in baseball.” As the conversation continued on its new tangent, Vesper gradually relaxed, eventually even forgetting the unseen sketch and the mysterious way in which it was taking shape as they spoke.

As the baseball discussion reached its eventual end, the strokes of the pencil ceased. Valerie took a few moments to look over the two images on the paper before turning them towards Vesper. “What do you make of these?”

In the first image, what seemed like a young girl, hazy and indistinct, sat huddled against a stone wall. On the other side, a thin, young woman stood with one arm stretched before her, as if reaching out. Her fingertips rested lightly on the surface of the wall. The woman was wearing a simple robe and held a holly branch in her other hand.

Vesper leaned forward, looking over the drawing, trying to make heads or tails of it. “I dunno. Doesn’t make much sense to me… ‘Cept maybe…” She suddenly thrust one hand out to jab a finger almost accusingly at the woman. “She looks a lot like Leslie, only… older maybe.”

“Leslie? That’s the girl you said helped you turned your life around?”

“Yeah… That kinda looks like her. The rest doesn’t make any sense.” Ves shook her head before turning her attention to the larger section of the page.

The second image contained a balance, reminiscent of the scales of justice. The right pan contained a variety of objects, some of which were obvious, others too faded into the background to make out. The more obvious ones included a pair of glasses with heavy rims, a backpack, a laptop computer, what looked like a black, glassy stone, a couple of small cubes with a puddle around them, a plant, and a ram’s horn. The left tray was heavier than the right, causing the balance to tip precariously in that direction. Its contents were less perplexing, consisting of a prominent spider, a worn gear, an arcane pendant, a broken television, a crude skull-like mask, and a pair of feathered wings. Standing upright near the balance, apparently with its tip thrust into the ground was a tarnished sword.

Vesper stared at the image, running her eyes across it, trying to make sense of the various details. Tapping on the left pan, her brows coming together in confusion, she considered the objects. “I think, maybe, this is some of the, uh, bad guys, I’ve gone after? Except these…” She touched the image of the wings. “I dunno where these come from.”

“Anything else?”

Vesper glanced up at Valerie for a few moments, and then returned her attention to the drawing. “This reminds me of something Artie told me one night… He said ‘A sword means nothin’ until the hand holds it,’ and that kinda stuck in my head. Is that supposed to be me?” She sat back in the chair and turned her attention fully to her counselor. “You tryin’ to tell me my not wantin’ to fight so much is lettin’ the bad guys get the upper hand?”

Valerie shook her head slowly, “No, this has nothing to do with I might think. Maybe you’re concerned that this is the case? Are you worried that you’re not doing enough?” she asked gently.

“Well… Sometimes…” Ves shook her head abruptly. “But I’m just one person. There’re plenty of other people out there, and most of ‘em are better than I am anyway.” She waved a hand in the air, almost dismissively, and tried to look away, but her eyes kept coming back to the images in the drawing.

She was concentrating so much on the sketch that she missed what Ms. Atwood started saying. A chill in the air caused Ves to shiver, and as she tried to focus on the words being spoken, a quiet whisper caught her ear. “Stop fighting…”

She sat bolt upright in her chair. “What? What did you say?”

Startled at the sudden interruption and apparent increase in tension, Valerie was taken aback momentarily. “I was saying that it’s good that you’re able to step back from time to time and remember that you don’t have to take on the whole world alone. We’ve discussed your tendency to take to the streets by yourself. On the other hand, you shouldn’t undervalue your contribution…”

The rest of the words faded into the background as Ves leaned back into the chair once more. The chill was still there, but had she imagined the voice? Her eyes roamed the room. She thought she caught a hint of movement, but when she focused on it, her gaze came to rest once more on the sketch pad lying on the table.

“Ves? Vesper?” The look of concern on Ms. Atwood’s face was evident as Ves snapped her attention back to the woman. “Are you alright?”

“Uh, yeah. Just, ah, distracted I guess.” She gestured back to the pad on the table. “Tryin’ to make heads or tails of this.”

“Is there more to the images? Something else you haven’t mentioned?” Her voice was gently probing, and her expression still held a hint of worry.

“Let me in, Aleyne.”

“No!” Ves snapped. “I mean, no, nothin’ I can put my finger on just yet… Maybe I need to think about it. Try to figure it out for a bit. See what comes to me? Maybe next week?” She rose from the chair.

Valerie nodded and followed her to the door. It was obvious something was still bothering the girl, but pushing her wouldn’t likely bring it out. She would reveal it when she was ready. “Alright. If you think of something, call me.” She smiled pleasantly and laid a hand on Ves’s shoulder. “You can come by anytime to discuss it.”

Her back to the woman, Ves didn’t have to see the brief flash of concern to feel it. She hurried from the building, rushed away from the crowded areas of campus. Looking around, finding no one nearby she whispered harshly, “Who are you? Why can’tcha just leave me alone!”