Prayerwheel

[Stasis Kiss]

He sits next to her without asking.

It has been three days. Long enough that some part of her had wondered whether she should go find him, worried despite everything that he might have hurt himself, curled into himself, too proud to come back. She had told herself not to care but the truth is, she does. She doesn't like to hurt people.

Yet when the faces across the steaming pool turn to look up, sighting over her shoulder, she knows without being told. She has a single breath to think of nothing at all.

He settles, his shoulder a bare breath away from touching hers. Too close, time and again but it is something she is fast learning to ignore. It is not that she is comfortable with this. She is nothing close to comfortable but what can she say that she has not already said? Words have failed to drive him away, nor the fine edge of anger. Fury... he has not earned fury yet. His pain is too obvious for that.

She tries not to react to the subtle challenge of his body. She hates to be touched yet if she shifts away he will follow, his oddly shaped body crowding closer to hers. She realises she decided somewhere that she will not give him that satisfaction, will not give that internal flinching outer expression. She wills herself fiercely not to care that he sits too close.

She avoids his gaze out of habit now, more than anything. She has no idea what else to do.

The others continue to talk, over and through her and she adds her own words to the mix, light and fast and meaningless. They notice, they have to notice but no one says anything; no one acknowledges what she feels is written over the two of them like a guilty neon sign. She is sometimes grateful for it. Sometimes though she wishes someone would take up that gauntlet, say something so that she can deny, reject, push it away. Get angry again over it.

It is what she does best after all.

He shifts then, crosses his arms over his knees. The movement is slight enough but her skin prickles. She thinks sometimes that she can feel the heat of his body through her armor, although that is not true. Still, she imagines sometimes that she does. The lines of his face are fox sharp in the corner of her eye. The alien curve of bone and horn catches the light, the hyperpigmentation of his skin stands out in sharp relief to the pale color of his absence. Does he feel like she feels? Awkward and out of place.

She doesn't want to hurt anybody.

Yet when she hears the deep inhalation she turns one shoulder, calls out across the divide to Kali, to Sam. She doesn't even know what she comes up with, a joke maybe, a quip, something with the sliding edge of delighted sarcasm. He subsides then and she doesn't even know if she prevented anything.

As long as he doesn't talk to her, she doesn't have to get angry over what he has done.

He says it isn't his fault but she knows that it is. It has to be because it's nothing she did, nothing she chose. She is not Taurian, she knows nothing of magic and souls and things that can go wrong in a heartbeat. So it is his mistake, not hers and she will not feel bad for him.

Still, she has promised to help if she can. Protect, as always because that is another thing she does best. She will try and keep both of them safe although the landmarks here are as strange as he is.

She has only to wait and soon enough his hand steals out to close over her fingers. In her vectored vision his expression is miserable. It translates to his touch, hesitant but strong enough for all that. He needs. The others will see but it has been three days.

As long as he doesn't talk to her, she doesn't have to be angry about it. Her fingers return the secret pressure, tangling in his. She struggles to keep any acknowledgement from her face, as if she is not holding his hand, as if his fingers are not the wrong color, the wrong shape, not the boy she should be sitting next to. She pretends that nobody else can see.

She talks then, weaves the words around herself like another kind of armor. She pretends to pay no attention as the color returns to his face, the thin trickle of satisfaction easing the tension around his eyes. He has told her that she should feel it too, the ebb and tide of power. She tells herself she feels nothing except for the slightly sticky, warm tremble of his hand in hers.

She tells herself she doesn't care what anybody else thinks, she can live with the curious glances that don't come anywhere near to meeting her eyes. If this is all he needs to keep the worst at bay, she can give it.

Soon enough his fingers withdraw from hers and she tries not to feel the relief that washes through her. She is not comfortable with this. His whispered words are low enough that only she can hear, a mumur of gratitude. Reluctant? She pretends she can't hear the frustration, his own thwarted anger. Perhaps he feels exactly how she feels.

This is not how it is supposed to be.

[Centuarian]

(OOC NOTE: Tara in this story refers to Stasis, for those who don’t know her real name. Kai thinks of her by this name, but I wouldn’t recommend using it... <grin>)

Kai checked the progress on his laptop, almost he thought. He then looked at the wall clock and frowned. It wasn’t gonna leave him much time, before one or more the other boys got back from classes, but then again he really didn’t want to have that long of a conversation about this with his parents.

Of all the things that might have gone wrong, this was about the worse thing he could think of. The second he thought of the bond he felt the ever present pain inside him double. He got dizzy for a moment and thought he was going to be sick. He put his head down on his desk and tried to ride out the wave nausea. The last four days had been horrible.

It didn’t start out as bad as it could have; his conversation with Roo actually went pretty well. Having the normally calm and well respected boy get so angry with him had hurt him deeply. He respected Roo and the accusations Roo started making had caused him to sit down and cry. But somewhere in all of it he had a flash of inspiration and suddenly knew where all Roo’s anger was truly coming from.

A few simple words and suddenly Roo’s anger just faded away. Nothing direct was said but suddenly Roo and he realized they had very much the same problem. Roo actually said he was sorry for getting so mad at him, and insisted they get to gather for lunch on Roo to make it up to him. Just maybe Kai thought, he had made a friend that day. At the very least it had given him a new idea, a new direction to go to make Tara happy.

Everybody said this Jai fellow was a good guy but where was he? Kai knew Roo was a good guy and he was always there for Tara, maybe he could find a way to make that happen.

The next day however turned out to be incredibly confusing. He went to the Hot Tubs and saw that Tara was there. He hadn’t seen her in three days, the day she had gotten so angry with him, and had the argument that Roo had witnessed. His sudden need for her almost made him collapse. But he managed to simply walk up behind her and sit a respectful distance away.

He had no idea what to say to her so he remained silent. She looked over her shoulder at him flicking her hair from her eyes to see him. “Hiya Cent” she said her voice as cheerful as it nearly always was. He knew full when that the tone of her voice was no way to gage her mood. In fact it was one of things that had drawn him to her in the first place. The fact that there was something deeper inside her, she never let show. Something that he felt someone needed to reach before there was nothing left, but the hollow shell she seemed content to be.

It was the brief look of concern that crossed her face that made him decide he could move closer. He got up and moved next to her still sitting slightly behind her. She was in the tub, and he could see the curve of her hips and back through the water. He imaged putting his arms around that waist and holding her to him. He felt the heat raise in him a little and fought to drive such thoughts from his mind.

Instead he reached his hand out to her silently and closed his eyes as he felt her entwine her fingers in his. Her touch was immediately soothing, and he felt every bit of pain just drain from his body. He could feel her even through the fabric of her glove. Her body was cool, in fact cold to the touch, yet it brought more warmth to him then he would have felt sitting next to the fire in the school arboretum. He wished that he could just feel her touch forever but knew that for as much as he enjoyed their contact, she in fact hated it.

Reluctantly he let go of her hand, but just as he did she glanced up at him and give him a smile and a quick squeeze of his hand. He moved back away from her a little to give her space but the smile and squeeze had confused him greatly. Had she suddenly grown more comfortable with him? Had she during the three day absence thought about him? The look of concern she had shown earlier… and the smile just now. Did they mean maybe… just maybe… he had a chance to mean… something to her?

The conversation continued around him with the other students, laughing cracking jokes and getting digs in on each other like always. He added a couple comments to the conversation himself, but he couldn’t keep his eyes off of Tara, and he couldn’t stop thinking about the smile, and the squeeze of his hand.

Someone said something about his getting into the tub, and he decided that was the best idea he had heard yet. He ran into the bathroom of one of the buildings nearby threw his suit on and hurried back to the hot tub. He slipped into the water next to Tara and sat beside her on the circular bench that went around the tub. She gave him a quick glance but didn’t seem to mind his presence. He reached out she took his hand again. Again he felt the pure bliss of her simple touch.

If only he could find someway to make her happy. Make her need him in some small way. If this… was all she ever gave him, he could get by, if only she had something he could do that made him needed, made him feel more the beloved servant the bond said he should be and not the parasite he had become.

He felt the self loathing creep back into him despite the contact with her, in fact almost because of it. He had no right to this if it brought her only pain and discomfort, still he could not make himself let go. He was too far from his home, too far from the casual contact his race needed to function. These humans were all so insolated, so afraid of contact with others… so afraid to feel love, and compassion accept for their closest family and friends.

So he continued to hold her hand like the life line it had become, feeling more miserable by the minute for doing so. Then Kali said something that got his attention.

“I could be a clown” he said, “please let me be the clown”.

Kali had laughed and said he’d be a good clown. Even Tara laughed and agreed, he be good at it. Suddenly he had felt useful… he began to talk excitedly with Kali and Tara, about being a clown. He hadn’t realized that he had lost control of his energy in his excitement. It wasn’t until he saw Tara’s arm glow that he realized what he done.

He had quickly let go of her hand, but the glow on her arm meant only one thing… his power hadn’t been healing in nature, it had been more intimate then that. But Tara hadn’t seemed to even notice. How could that be possible? Did she loath him that much that even the pleasure the Fey could give was ignored by her?

That moment was crushing; clearly he would never be more to her then an annoyance. It’s was only the kindness inherent in her that made her give him the touch he needed to survive.

The next two days only served to increase his misery and need for contact.

First it was Tawney. He had always seen Tawney as quiet and gentle, he felt horribly bad for what the Darkling had tried to do to her. But Tawney suddenly sprouted fangs. She wore a pair of tight leather pants, and spiked heel boots. That was bad enough coming from Tawney, but she also wore a mesh shirt that was completely see through. Kai was in complete shock, and Tawney seemed to enjoy his reaction teasing him about it.

Then last night he met Eshva. Eshva was easily the most beautiful human he had yet met. At first he was over come with joy at seeing someone who reminded him so much of home. But the longer he was around her, the more profound became his need for contact. Later he found out that Eshva and Crono were a couple and he figured that was just as well. He really didn’t need to even attempt to get involved with someone until this mess with Tara was figured out.

He had already gotten more involved with Vie then he had intended and their friendship was strained at best, over at worst. Crono tried to cheer him up, but Kai explained to him why things were much worse then a simple “crush” on Tara.

When Crono found out from Kai that the only thing that might break the bond would be Tara’s death he suggested that maybe stopping Stasis heart medically and restarting it after the bond broke might be worth a try. Kai flat out refused to even consider that notion.

That is when he told Crono the only possibility he could come up with was to talk to Elders of his people. Maybe they could help, and if they could maybe they would help but there was no way to be sure of either possibility. Plus travel home seemed unlikely. It was a two month trip minimum with a fast ship, and he knew that he would never make it that long without Tara’s touch.

Crono thought for a moment and then said, “What if I could make the trip instaneous?” It turned out Crono thought he might be able to bend space enough to get Kai home. So that is why he sat here now waiting to talk to his parents. Before anything could happen he’d have to get permission to allow Crono, and perhaps Tara to visit Taurian, that alone would be no easy task…

Suddenly his computer chimed, and a Taurian female appeared on the screen. “Kai Veek?” she asked. Kai smiled and nodded. Your call is connected please stand by while I transfer you to your party.

Too be continued…

[Stasis Kiss]

Too many! Too many, too fast, six rushing forward to distract. Trying to trap her into the corner, sweaty faces gleaming under tac helmets. A spray of bullets chips the wall over her shoulder even as she ducks, falls to the side. She can't dodge them all, awkward as she is. There are too many!

She comes up swinging though, fists ablaze with panic. Arctic air swirls as she pulls more and more out of the lattice, translating energy to kinetic thrust. She's shifting so fast that the world is a sickening blur. One fist connects and she doesn't even look to see what she's done, spinning on one blind heel to reach the next. One down of too many, three more in the corner of her eye falling to a coordinated knee, rifles raising.

She can't get out of the corner. Trapped. They're too damned far away!

"Jade! JADE!"

She needs him. Where the hell is he? In a surge she pulls everything, all of it, the air snapping with cold like a thousand hammers. The ones nearest stagger and nearly collapse. She leaps over them, frantic to get away.

But a fan of steel is in her face, clawing up her armor, ripping her apart.

She twists, dives to the ground but it's not enough. Not this time. Blood in her mouth, lung shot. She rolls and then runs.

Corners, corridors, doors. She's out of the line of fire. They're right behind her, they have to be. There is pain as sweet as candy under her tongue.

Comes to, bracing her shoulders against a wall. Waits in centered calm. How fast can she heal? Her body works relentlessly but they have to be coming. The ice won't form. As fast as she grabs it, it fades. Mist and plasma and gas. No armor.

"Too slow, Stasis."

"The hell."

"I told you we weren't strong enough."

"The hell, Jade. I'm strong enough for this. I'm stronger than *you*."

"Not now. I can't die, remember?" He's leaning with one shoulder to the wall next to her, arms crossed. The ragged flip of familiar hair brushes over one eye.

"No way. We're supposed to go together, remember? You and me."

"That was then. You can't even stand up, can you?"

And she can't. She's sitting down, legs attached to something other than her body. Her hands are shaking. She coughs and swallows more blood without meaning to.

"Shut up. You don't know what you're talking about. I'll get up in a minute."

"No, you won't." He's looking at something but not at her. That's okay, she's just resting. In a minute she'll shake it off like always and then she'll pound him. "No more strength for you. You're about finished."

"Yeah? That's your fault, then."

That brings anger to his face, tightening his fine boned features. Only for a second though. Only for a moment is he the Peerless she remembers, passion and life and even the fear that just made everything brighter. A heartbeat more and it's gone, submerged. He shrugs under the heavy weave of his gi. She'd shake him if she could.

"You left me behind. I don't owe you anything anymore."

The accusation alone pulls her to her feet. Since when do they owe each other? The things that are broken inside grate against each other.

"Yeah? The hell, Jade Rooster. You keep up this time. You keep up or I swear I'll leave you behind again."

"Don't talk to me like that. I'm your equal. I've always been your equal."

"Then where the hell were you!?"

"I was in your past. Now shut up. They're coming."

She can hear them then. Breath catches in her throat. She's not ready. Her hand curl into futile fists.

"The bond will give you strength."

"Centaurian?"

"It will give you what you need. What we both need if only you'll let it. I will give it to you. Let me in."

He slides his shy hand into hers. Golden light sparks like crazy fireflies. They are almost upon them, almost at the corner, she can smell the metal of the guns. A second more and they'll be trapped again. This time she can't fail. She has to protect Kai, prove Jade wrong. She needs to be strong enough for this.

His hand is warm in hers with fear a white sheet in her mind. She finds she's gripping his fingers tighter and tighter.

Then in an instant she strips away everything he has to give.

Energy. Power swarms along the points of their connection, flashes across the lattice. The armor closes over her head like the jaws of an animal, suddenly enough that ice fills her mouth. She swallows it down in a rush. Transmutation of potential, the building and breaking so fast its a living thing, a second skin. She's been here before. Perfect, sudden fury.

"Let me in."

She looks and his eyes are the wrong dark, the excitement there hers. He can give her power. All that she can take and more.

She has only to need it.

He smiles, white and happy and the deep color of his eyes spreads, stains his skin. Trinidad holds her hand. But the voice that speaks is still Kai's.

"Let me in. I can be everything you need."

_________

She sits upright in bed, teeth clamped so hard her jaw aches. She swallows again and again, tasting blood, tasting ice. Tasting power.

The words she'd yelled at Jade swirl in her head. Kai's stumbling, frustrated confession. The one glimpse she had of the terrible promise behind the Taurian's eyes.

Why they ended up in the same dream she has no idea.

A quick glance shows that at least she wasn't thrashing or anything. Summer's bed is empty, Aeon a dark quietness in hers. She can barely make out the lump that is Erika and if she'd made enough noise to wake up a mouse, trust that Raeder would be awake and pointing it out.

It takes a few minutes before her heart rate hauls itself out of the stratosphere though and she can finally flop back down on the bed. The nightmare sequence jumbles itself in her head and she scrubs her face as if to make it go away. Moonlight silvers her arms and she inspects them like she's never seen them before, the fine hair glowing like suddenly precious metal.

Is that who she is? She'd said no. She didn't want power. She didn't want to need anything. She doesn't need anything.

It has to be the magic talking. Maybe it's trying to reach her too, make her be something she's not. Because she's not like that, she isn't.

The insidious fear makes her stomach tighten, sends an unintended chill down her backbone. If it's the magic, Centaurian's twisted craving for closeness, how long before she doesn't think it's wrong anymore? She doesn't know anything about magic. Maybe the fact she's dreaming about it says it already has her, sinking fingers into her mind.

She scrubs her face again hard and tries to laugh it off. Really, that's stupid. She's faced off against the Circle, hasn't she? Mages strong enough to conjure demons straight out of Dante's hell, netherworld portals opening to spew illusions and insanity. One boy's personal compulsion didn't have to mean anything to her. She'd gotten angry with him, hadn't she? Yelled at him?

Held him while he cried.

She shifts at that unbidden memory, uncomfortable and then angry. She drops her arms to the bed and twists, clutching the pillow under her head.

She doesn't know anything about magic. But maybe it's time to find somebody that does.

Just in case.

[Centuarian]

(OOC NOTE: This conversation took place around March 6th 2007 the posting delay is due to lazy Centinum wanting to do play instead of write. )

The operators imaged faded from the screen to be replaced by the image of an ageless female. Agelessness was actually the last think you noticed about her. Ones gaze was immediately drawn to her eyes, the irises were pale lavender in color but darker purple seemed to pulse out across the lavender field from the pupil in little streaks of lightning. Her hair was a cascading wave of greens and browns that fell to her lower back and was pulled behind high pointed ears. Her nose was rather small, and slightly up turned. Her mouth was full lipped and slightly puckered, shinning red and moist. Over all she was a beautiful woman, a true Elven princess. However her normally cheerful smile was replaced by a look of great concern.

“Kai!” She exclaimed, “What is wrong dear? Are you alright?”

Kai sighed in response, “I’m fine mother, or rather I’m not hurt so please calm down.”

“Or rather? That does not sound fine to me Kai Veek. Why are you calling something must be wrong!”

Another voice chimed in. “Calm down and let the boy speak Ivy.”

The computer software zoomed the camera out to include the new speaker. At only four feet nine inches Aquie Veek was a full foot and a half shorter then his slender Elvin mate. Were Ivy was soft and beautiful Aquie was hard and sharp featured. His skin was the color of red clay, roughly textured. His shoulder length, light grey hair was wirery to the touch. He’s coal black eyes shown from a flat square face. Where one would expect a nose there was only two small nostrils. His mouth was large and square, his thin lips a deep brown. When he spoke he exposed sharp almost fanged teeth.

“Go on Kai, I do agree with your mother to some degree you wouldn’t have called if it was not important.”

Despite, his calm words Kai’s father made him wince. His mother though emotional he could handle. As a healer she was far too empathetic to stay mad at her son for long. His father was another matter. Though not as quick to anger as his mother he was a perfectionist. He was a goblin scientist of no small renowned among the Taurians. That had been a mixed blessing for Kai as a child. His father had recognized his son’s intelligence at an early age. When Kai become ill, and it was clear all the boy would ever have was is mind, his father had been quick to nurture it and demand excellence of him at all times.

“Hello Dad”, Kai responded softly, “Um… I need to come home… just for bit, and I’m gonna need a favor, a big one.”

“Oh Kai, come home? Of course you can come home honey”, his mother held her hands to her chest. “Whatever you need dear, we’re here for you.”

Kai’s Father shook his head and held up a hand. “Now wait just a minute Ivy. Kai why do you need to come home? The trip will take months each way! What about your classes and Kheldian’s commitment on Earth?”

“I got a way to make the trip almost instantaneous dad. A friend of mine can bend space, so the whole trip shouldn’t take too long and I can get a week or two pass from the Kheldian consulate here. Most my classes are impendent study so I’ll have no trouble making up the ones I do miss.” Kai sighed, “Dad I just really need to come home and I’m gonna need your help with something… something big.”

“Big”, asked his father? “Kai, what has happened?”

“It’s the bond Dad, the Life Bond. I’ve formed the Life Bond with a human female.” Kai looked down and away from the screen unable to meet his father’s gaze.

Her son’s obvious shame at something that should have been joyous news was enough to let Ivy Veek to know that something had gone completely awry. “Kai, you seem upset. What is wrong you should be happy to bring us this news? Is she ill, has something happen to her? The look of concern was clear on her face as she spoke.

“No she is ok, it’s not like that.” Kai took a deep breath, “She is fine, it’s just that she didn’t want the bond… she does not want it. She has no love for me. In fact she is very upset to have the bond placed upon her.”

“KAI”, his mother’s shout made him wince, “How could this be? Did you force this thing upon her?”

Kai cried out on the verge of tears, “No… no Mom… I would never do that… I… I don’t even know how I did it!”

“What do you mean you don’t know how?” Kai that makes no sense returned his Mother her voice obviously distraught.

His father was surprisingly calm, “Now, Ivy we know the boy wasn’t truly ready when he left, let him explain what happen.”

“I really don’t know Dad. I met this girl, named Stasis she was the one that helped me get into the school. I kind of just leaned on her the first couple of days. But I noticed that she seemed very withdrawn, and private. I’ve since learned that most humans are, though Stasis admittedly takes this to extremes. I mistook her natural preference for privacy as a sign that she was hurting inside. It called out to me and I felt the need to aid her. She was very resistant to let me in, and the more she resisted the more I assumed I was right. If she had been one of us I would have been right. But she is human. Humans are so closed and they isolate themselves from each other so much. I truly do not know how they survive, and why they do not die of loneliness and despair.” Kai pauses as he wipes a tear from his eye that he weeps for his human friends.
Kai’s Mother and Father look on shocked trying to imagine the horror Kai is describing and the pain he must feel living among such a backward people. His father broke the silence, “Go ahead son’, he said his voice a little unsteady.

“Well, I thought if I could just get her to trust me… so I told her a secret about me.” I knew that was the first part of forming the bond… But I didn’t mean to do anything else. “It just got confused from there, and the next thing I knew I could feel the bond. But oddly enough she couldn’t and the marks did not appear on her forearms either.”

“Well, then son you must be mistaken”, said his father. “It must not be a true bond.”

“No Dad it is… I know, when she rejected me, a Darkling came.”

“No”, his mother exclaimed! “That can not be… I see my son before me… you can not be an evil one, I am your mother! Somehow… somehow I would know!”

“It is me Mom; Guardian saved me, Guardian that is what the Kheldian names himself now. He saved me, he protected my soul prevented me from completely fading. Then with Stasis’s help he fought off the Darkling, and I took my body back. We learned that we can trick the magic if Stasis lets me touch her from time to time… just hold hands or something. But we are both very unhappy like this, she does not like touching even from her close friends, and I long for contact but my bond to her makes it hard for me to let myself do so with anyone else. Dad I need you to get permission for my friend Cronology to come to Taurian with me. He has to come because he knows how to make the portal. I plan to ask Stasis to come too, in case she is needed.”

“Needed for what”, asked his Father?

“I am going to petition the Elders Dad. I’m going to ask them if they know a way to intercede and break the Life Bond. If not for my sake then at least for the Human, she is alien and should not be held to our laws and traditions, especially not due to my mistake.”

Kai and his family talked long into the night, his parents finally agreeing to let Kai try his desperate plan. Kai never told them the secret he had told Stasis, the one that could get him put to death should the Elders learn the truth of it. He agonized over asking Stasis to come, but decided to leave it up to her. He was almost relieved when she balked at the idea. It would be harder for him without her comforting touch, but at least she would be safe on earth.

Three days later Kai’s Father called and said he had gained permission for his two friends to come to Taurian and that the had petitioned the Elders on his son’s behalf and they had agree to hear his plea…