Rise from the Ashes
"Are they themseoves to blame, the misery , the pain?
Didn't we let go, allowed it, let it grow?
If we can't restrain the beast which dwells inside
It will find it's way somehow, somwhere in time
Will we remember all of the suffering
Cause if we fail it will be in vain"
- Our Solemn Hour (Within Temptation)
"So take it while you can so you can meet demands
My insanity is what you thrive on
So rip it from my soul, so everyone will know in the end
We were never friends
Have you ever felt lost inside, so unloved within that you almost die
Have you ever stepped out of the light and realized there's a stranger inside"
- Stranger Inside (Shinedown)
"And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames"
- Beauty from Pain (Superchick)
"I've been watching your crumbling walls
I've endured a thousand tears or more
In a frozen moment of time, I see you fall
Only memories remain of you now
You've given in to darkness and to doubt
You couldn't find the strength to cast
The demons out"
- One by One (Sirenia)
(Discussion thread here.
The first posts in this story are a result of the thread Dark Wings Falling.)
Rise from the Ashes
Moderator: Student Council
Rise from the Ashes
Last edited by Kierin on Thu Jan 15, 2009 3:54 pm, edited 12 times in total.
Unconsciousness
I thought I had been getting used to pain.
The last thing I could remember was a wall of shadow closing in on me from all directions. After that I was engulfed, all contact with my body lost; my consciousness had retreated from the outside world, leaving me in the twisting darkness of my mind. I couldn’t form coherent thoughts. All I could do was feel. And all I felt was pain.
There was intense physical pain. Even through dulled senses I felt a merciless stinging sensation spreading through my entire body, worsening steadily. There was pain brought by panic, a desperate fear that I wasn’t going to escape, that I was truly going to be trapped in the void forever. A separate consciousness within my own screamed angrily at me to live, to fight. I couldn’t understand.
The worst was the pain brought by sorrow. Something that I had grown accustomed to was gone, as if I had suddenly discovered I had lost my hands or my voice. Something benevolent that I had come to love had abandoned me, and I had never felt so alone. Something that had made me strong had been crushed, and I felt somehow that I was weak, so weak, without it.
Live. Fight.
I couldn’t understand. But I held on anyway, clinging to an inherent refusal to give up that remained with me even then. My power was my own, and I would not let it conquer me.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Dull sounds reached my ears, resolving themselves into words. Voices. My vision was nothing but shifting black and violet shadows.
“…Ah… powerful magic. She won’t last long without help…”
“That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?”
“Ah, hm, right. Yes well, I am going to put her to sleep first. Then I can begin, ok?”
“She’s been unconscious since the incident.”
“Oh, sorry. But, she’s awake now, just barely, I think. I have to use a short spell here, and then I can apply the seals. …Ok?”
“…Are you sure you're cut out for this? I’m supposed to be taking your advice.”
“Of course, of course. Ok, then.”
I tried to turn my head towards the stammering voice, but it only brought a rush of pain and dizziness. Soon I felt a soft calmness wrapping itself around me, and it wasn’t long before I drifted calmly back into the deeper shadows of my subconscious.
The last thing I could remember was a wall of shadow closing in on me from all directions. After that I was engulfed, all contact with my body lost; my consciousness had retreated from the outside world, leaving me in the twisting darkness of my mind. I couldn’t form coherent thoughts. All I could do was feel. And all I felt was pain.
There was intense physical pain. Even through dulled senses I felt a merciless stinging sensation spreading through my entire body, worsening steadily. There was pain brought by panic, a desperate fear that I wasn’t going to escape, that I was truly going to be trapped in the void forever. A separate consciousness within my own screamed angrily at me to live, to fight. I couldn’t understand.
The worst was the pain brought by sorrow. Something that I had grown accustomed to was gone, as if I had suddenly discovered I had lost my hands or my voice. Something benevolent that I had come to love had abandoned me, and I had never felt so alone. Something that had made me strong had been crushed, and I felt somehow that I was weak, so weak, without it.
Live. Fight.
I couldn’t understand. But I held on anyway, clinging to an inherent refusal to give up that remained with me even then. My power was my own, and I would not let it conquer me.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Dull sounds reached my ears, resolving themselves into words. Voices. My vision was nothing but shifting black and violet shadows.
“…Ah… powerful magic. She won’t last long without help…”
“That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?”
“Ah, hm, right. Yes well, I am going to put her to sleep first. Then I can begin, ok?”
“She’s been unconscious since the incident.”
“Oh, sorry. But, she’s awake now, just barely, I think. I have to use a short spell here, and then I can apply the seals. …Ok?”
“…Are you sure you're cut out for this? I’m supposed to be taking your advice.”
“Of course, of course. Ok, then.”
I tried to turn my head towards the stammering voice, but it only brought a rush of pain and dizziness. Soon I felt a soft calmness wrapping itself around me, and it wasn’t long before I drifted calmly back into the deeper shadows of my subconscious.
Last edited by Kierin on Sat May 31, 2008 1:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
Waking
Sleep wasn't an escape for long. The pain returned, shadows crowded my inner vision, and dark whispers echoed endlessly through my mind. I felt as if my conscious was being attacked, that something was trying to gain control and settle in. My body temperature shifted relentlessly between feverish and freezing.
The whispering voice was saying things to me, but it's nothing I could remember afterwards. All I knew was that there was a voice, and it was trying to tell me something very important. The whisper was truth. The whisper was insanity. I couldn't understand the words, only a whirlwind of desperate shifting emotions, all blanketed with the unrelenting sorrow.
Eventually I came to be aware that I was regaining consciousness. The darkness around me slowly shifted, solidifying into recognizable forms, but there was no color except black and dark violet. I felt myself being drawn backwards, finally recognizing the pull as gravity. I was laying on something soft, facing upward into a flat surface of darkness. Everything was still shifting slowly, undulating as if with energy, but I could tell where walls were, that I was in a room of some sort.
Something was wrapped around my face, covering my eyes. Somehow I could still see, with this uncomfortable dark vision, through whatever it was. My arms felt heavy; something was weighing them down.
I tried to turn my head and it rolled limply to the side, causing me to groan in pain and confusion. All the shadows broke apart again, swriling for a few seconds before forming once more into shapes. In the middle of my vision now was a spot of bright purple light against the darkness. Its outlines were undefined, but it was moving slightly, and I could sense undeniably that it was alive.
The light suddenly surged toward me, causing my head to flare with pain as my mind tried to make sense of the abrupt shift in shadows.
"Kierin?"
The voice sounded familiar, but the presence was frightening. I tried to back away, finding that I could barely move. "Get back…" My voice sounded as weak as I felt.
The light drew back slightly, but the next assault was in sound. "Kierin, don't move too much! You've been out for a week, don't hurt yourself…"
I knew that voice. Finally I began to remember some of what had happened, began to realize what was going on. "…Jess?"
The part of the light that must have been her head bobbed slightly. "Y-yeah… it's me. I've been so worried about you…" the light shifted again, making some gesture I couldn't read.
Only Jessiy. Nothing to be afraid of. I finally relaxed, stopped trying to move away. Even the small effort left me feeling slightly drained.
She spoke again. "I didn't know what happened, and then the doctors said that something was wrong but they wouldn't tell me what…" She trailed off.
I was still so tired that I couldn't seem to remember her words for more than a second after she spoke them. "I can hardly see…" I lifted a hand to my face, touching it to the bridge of my nose. Some sort of rough bandage was wrapped around my hand, so I couldn’t really feel what was on my face either, at first. After a few seconds I could tell I had some sort of blindfold over my face… held in place by chains. "What is this…?"
"They said it's supposed to help… with whatever… I guess whatever got loose. The doctors didn't really know either, and I wasn't here when the person came in and put them on…" The voiced paused, sighing. "Kierin, I'm so sorry… can I get anything for you? Another pillow, something to drink, something to eat? Just… just stay still."
I stopped trying to feel out whatever was wrapped around my face, letting my arm fall limply to my side. Slowly her words sank in; did I need anything else? I wasn't hungry, wasn't thirsty… but something was wrong. "I don't want any of that… something though…"
What was missing? It was something I always had… besides full sight, but for some reason this felt more urgent. "I can't tell what's… oh god…" I held up my hands. Wind. Where was the wind? I commanded it to blow. All I got was a subtle brightness around my hands, a shift in the darkness. There was no feeling of the breeze on my face that I'd come to love.
Jessiy looked at my hands, at the energy that was flowing from them from my efforts. "Shh shh shh! It's ok, it's ok! They warned that might happen… it's alright…" She sounded desperate. It only made my panic worse.
"No… it's not alright. Jess, I can't make the wind blow… I can't do anything." I held my head, felt chains wrapped around my hands catch my hair painfully. My heart pounded; this couldn't be. "It's all gone! What the hell happened!?"
There was a pause before a response came. "You're just tired, that's all… you're just drained, give yourself time to heal."
I knew that was a blind hope. The power of the storm was so much a part of me that it's absence was glaringly obvious. "No. It's gone. How could I let this happen…"
"No… you're just tired… you didn't do anything wrong…" She sounded almost as desperate as I felt.
Gone, how could it be gone? I hadn't even had it for long, but I had learned to embrace it and now it was taken from me. Finally I felt that I had found something I could depend on, and it was lost.
I was about to cry. I couldn't cry here in front of Jess. Had to think of something else… no, someone else. I hadn't been the only one in that battle, after all. I turned to the light that was Jess, looking up at where I hoped her face was. "Are you alright?"
She let out a breath, and her voice calmed down. "Yeah… I'm ok. I'm good. A little sore, but I can get over that."
I nodded slowly. "I could have gotten us both killed. …I don't remember much, but I know that without you… just, thanks." It had been something horrible. Jess' help had saved my life.
"It's ok, it wasn't your fault…"
"It was, but I don't really feel like arguing right now." I was feeling more exhausted by the second, and things were starting to spin. I knew I wouldn't be awake much longer.
"Yeah… oh my gosh, Kierin. I'm… Thank God you're alright. I was so worried about you… you didn't wake up for forever. It's been a week." Her voice cracked. "I'm so glad you're okay!"
What little of my mind I could spare to listen was surprised, but not unpleasantly so. Was she really that worried about me? We hadn't been the closest of friends… I thought then that maybe I should try to change that. Later. All later. "Thanks… I'm just… really tired…"
"Yeah, ok. You should keep resting. I can turn on the radio or the TV for you, get you some noise going… I've been pretty much quiet here next to you."
I laughed silently, but I knew none of it showed in my expression. "No thanks… I have some noise. It won't stop whispering…"
The voice was already returning, quiet shivers of sound echoing through my head. I heard Jess' fading voice as I drifted off again, "Who's whispering….?"
The shadows collapsed around me, as I drifted into a shifting, dark sleep.
The whispering voice was saying things to me, but it's nothing I could remember afterwards. All I knew was that there was a voice, and it was trying to tell me something very important. The whisper was truth. The whisper was insanity. I couldn't understand the words, only a whirlwind of desperate shifting emotions, all blanketed with the unrelenting sorrow.
Eventually I came to be aware that I was regaining consciousness. The darkness around me slowly shifted, solidifying into recognizable forms, but there was no color except black and dark violet. I felt myself being drawn backwards, finally recognizing the pull as gravity. I was laying on something soft, facing upward into a flat surface of darkness. Everything was still shifting slowly, undulating as if with energy, but I could tell where walls were, that I was in a room of some sort.
Something was wrapped around my face, covering my eyes. Somehow I could still see, with this uncomfortable dark vision, through whatever it was. My arms felt heavy; something was weighing them down.
I tried to turn my head and it rolled limply to the side, causing me to groan in pain and confusion. All the shadows broke apart again, swriling for a few seconds before forming once more into shapes. In the middle of my vision now was a spot of bright purple light against the darkness. Its outlines were undefined, but it was moving slightly, and I could sense undeniably that it was alive.
The light suddenly surged toward me, causing my head to flare with pain as my mind tried to make sense of the abrupt shift in shadows.
"Kierin?"
The voice sounded familiar, but the presence was frightening. I tried to back away, finding that I could barely move. "Get back…" My voice sounded as weak as I felt.
The light drew back slightly, but the next assault was in sound. "Kierin, don't move too much! You've been out for a week, don't hurt yourself…"
I knew that voice. Finally I began to remember some of what had happened, began to realize what was going on. "…Jess?"
The part of the light that must have been her head bobbed slightly. "Y-yeah… it's me. I've been so worried about you…" the light shifted again, making some gesture I couldn't read.
Only Jessiy. Nothing to be afraid of. I finally relaxed, stopped trying to move away. Even the small effort left me feeling slightly drained.
She spoke again. "I didn't know what happened, and then the doctors said that something was wrong but they wouldn't tell me what…" She trailed off.
I was still so tired that I couldn't seem to remember her words for more than a second after she spoke them. "I can hardly see…" I lifted a hand to my face, touching it to the bridge of my nose. Some sort of rough bandage was wrapped around my hand, so I couldn’t really feel what was on my face either, at first. After a few seconds I could tell I had some sort of blindfold over my face… held in place by chains. "What is this…?"
"They said it's supposed to help… with whatever… I guess whatever got loose. The doctors didn't really know either, and I wasn't here when the person came in and put them on…" The voiced paused, sighing. "Kierin, I'm so sorry… can I get anything for you? Another pillow, something to drink, something to eat? Just… just stay still."
I stopped trying to feel out whatever was wrapped around my face, letting my arm fall limply to my side. Slowly her words sank in; did I need anything else? I wasn't hungry, wasn't thirsty… but something was wrong. "I don't want any of that… something though…"
What was missing? It was something I always had… besides full sight, but for some reason this felt more urgent. "I can't tell what's… oh god…" I held up my hands. Wind. Where was the wind? I commanded it to blow. All I got was a subtle brightness around my hands, a shift in the darkness. There was no feeling of the breeze on my face that I'd come to love.
Jessiy looked at my hands, at the energy that was flowing from them from my efforts. "Shh shh shh! It's ok, it's ok! They warned that might happen… it's alright…" She sounded desperate. It only made my panic worse.
"No… it's not alright. Jess, I can't make the wind blow… I can't do anything." I held my head, felt chains wrapped around my hands catch my hair painfully. My heart pounded; this couldn't be. "It's all gone! What the hell happened!?"
There was a pause before a response came. "You're just tired, that's all… you're just drained, give yourself time to heal."
I knew that was a blind hope. The power of the storm was so much a part of me that it's absence was glaringly obvious. "No. It's gone. How could I let this happen…"
"No… you're just tired… you didn't do anything wrong…" She sounded almost as desperate as I felt.
Gone, how could it be gone? I hadn't even had it for long, but I had learned to embrace it and now it was taken from me. Finally I felt that I had found something I could depend on, and it was lost.
I was about to cry. I couldn't cry here in front of Jess. Had to think of something else… no, someone else. I hadn't been the only one in that battle, after all. I turned to the light that was Jess, looking up at where I hoped her face was. "Are you alright?"
She let out a breath, and her voice calmed down. "Yeah… I'm ok. I'm good. A little sore, but I can get over that."
I nodded slowly. "I could have gotten us both killed. …I don't remember much, but I know that without you… just, thanks." It had been something horrible. Jess' help had saved my life.
"It's ok, it wasn't your fault…"
"It was, but I don't really feel like arguing right now." I was feeling more exhausted by the second, and things were starting to spin. I knew I wouldn't be awake much longer.
"Yeah… oh my gosh, Kierin. I'm… Thank God you're alright. I was so worried about you… you didn't wake up for forever. It's been a week." Her voice cracked. "I'm so glad you're okay!"
What little of my mind I could spare to listen was surprised, but not unpleasantly so. Was she really that worried about me? We hadn't been the closest of friends… I thought then that maybe I should try to change that. Later. All later. "Thanks… I'm just… really tired…"
"Yeah, ok. You should keep resting. I can turn on the radio or the TV for you, get you some noise going… I've been pretty much quiet here next to you."
I laughed silently, but I knew none of it showed in my expression. "No thanks… I have some noise. It won't stop whispering…"
The voice was already returning, quiet shivers of sound echoing through my head. I heard Jess' fading voice as I drifted off again, "Who's whispering….?"
The shadows collapsed around me, as I drifted into a shifting, dark sleep.
Last edited by Kierin on Sat May 31, 2008 1:21 am, edited 1 time in total.
Attempted Support
It was like living in another world, one that never stood still and offered no kindness. Everything was represented in shapes drawn by shifting shadows, and every time I moved my head, the darkness of my vision broke apart, reforming a moment later into the same shapes, from my new perspective. It made me immensely dizzy; even turning over in my bed made me feel like I was going to throw up. Eventually I settled into a position in which I was sitting up slightly, back against a pillow. From there I drifted between sleep and thought.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Jessiy wasn't the only person I saw while I was in the hospital. A day or so later, two figures of nebulous violet light entered the room. One of them spoke: the voice of my roommate was instantly recognizable. Alex had brought Joni with her for some reason. I wasn't sure why, but I knew better than to ask in front of the insecure girl. She was almost silent through the entire visit.
I felt a slight relief to have someone to talk to, but at the same time I wished that Alex hadn't come. I felt so pathetic, lying there in my bed, unable to even lift myself to a standing position. I tried to explain what had happened, though the memories of the incident with the Rikti were still hazy.
She told me she hated the crystal, the source of my power and pain. A few months ago I would have agreed with her, but now her words brought me near tears. I could no longer feel the power of that crystal, and with the power I had lost something that I couldn't imagine being without.
I was only able to talk with her for a few minutes before even that small effort left me exhausted. I had to sleep.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I spent the next couple of days in miserable brooding, wondering how I could bring myself to go back to my life, half blind and unbelievably weak. But even my thoughts were tired and half-hearted, constantly interrupted by little whisperings in my head.
I began to realize that the power within me was truly sentient, if insane. I could never hear its words, but at times I could feel strange emotions, not my own, touching on my mind. There was often a sense of triumph, sometimes anticipation, and at other times there was fury. I couldn't sense anything often, but when I did I felt a repulsed and drawn at the same time. The conflicting emotions usually tired me to the point of sleep whenever I began to hear the shadow's thoughts.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A couple days after Alex visited for the first time, a different figure entered the room. It was the brightest I had seen so far, the familiar, winged shape sharply defined against the prevailing shadows. I felt even more humiliated than before, but there was also a small amount of joy in his presence.
The first lifting of my spirits since falling victim to the darkness didn't last long. It was almost immediately apparent that Nova did not and would not understand the severity of what had happened to me. How could he know, anyway? To him, it seemed, it was just a setback in my growth of power; a physical injury that I would recover and rise from. But I could not seem to convince him, it was so much more.
I tried to tell him, but I hadn't even sorted out my own thoughts enough to voice it. I had to translate emotions to words, an impossible thing with such a clouded mind. All I expressed in the end was irritation, telling him he didn't get it. I couldn't explain further. I had to sleep.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The next day, I felt for the first time I was getting slightly stronger. I could shift my position in bed without feeling I had run a marathon and I could turn my head without becoming incredibly dizzy. It was the first sign to me that I might actually have a chance at coming back... physically. My spirit still felt bloodied and dark.
The winged light entered the room again, this time with strange black streaks moving through it. Embarrassed about how the last visit had gone, I was ready to apologize, until I realized it was not Nova after all… the voice was too calm, quiet.
I hadn't expected Nova's brother to show in the infirmary, and wasn't at all ready for it. It was the worst having him there and seeing me helpless; he had watched my power grow for a while now, and I expected him to be disappointed that I had lost control over it. As it turned out, Adam's attitude was much the same as his brother's: that I had simply shed an unneeded power in progression toward whatever awaited me next. I thought then that it must have been some sort of result of the training they had, that they would think this way.
By then I had gathered my thoughts more… I tried to explain to him that I had lost more than power, that something else more important had been taken from me.
I remember his reply clearly. "I understand what you mean, but let me say something. If it was about friendship and loss, I do regret your loss. But… do not think you fool me saying it wasn't about power. If it has been about friendship, all those times I watched you in the islands, you would have sat quietly and spoke to a friend. You have long had control over these things, yet you always pushed forward, seeking advancement, improvement, more power. It's not a weakness to miss that. It is a weakness to deny it, though."
It wasn't entirely true. But it hit home. After he left I considered what he had said, that and more. I knew I'd come close to death, and I began to think about if I would have been satisfied with how I had lived. Nothing like almost loosing your life to start you thinking on changing it.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It was a week of weariness and sorrow, and it seemed to drag on for eternity. An hour was like a day, waiting for something to change and make the pain go away. I knew that soon I'd have to get back on my feet, but despair was a heavy weight and I didn't want to do anything. Shifting in and out of consciousness, I dwelt in a dark mist, recovering from my injuries and still fighting a deeper battle.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Jessiy wasn't the only person I saw while I was in the hospital. A day or so later, two figures of nebulous violet light entered the room. One of them spoke: the voice of my roommate was instantly recognizable. Alex had brought Joni with her for some reason. I wasn't sure why, but I knew better than to ask in front of the insecure girl. She was almost silent through the entire visit.
I felt a slight relief to have someone to talk to, but at the same time I wished that Alex hadn't come. I felt so pathetic, lying there in my bed, unable to even lift myself to a standing position. I tried to explain what had happened, though the memories of the incident with the Rikti were still hazy.
She told me she hated the crystal, the source of my power and pain. A few months ago I would have agreed with her, but now her words brought me near tears. I could no longer feel the power of that crystal, and with the power I had lost something that I couldn't imagine being without.
I was only able to talk with her for a few minutes before even that small effort left me exhausted. I had to sleep.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I spent the next couple of days in miserable brooding, wondering how I could bring myself to go back to my life, half blind and unbelievably weak. But even my thoughts were tired and half-hearted, constantly interrupted by little whisperings in my head.
I began to realize that the power within me was truly sentient, if insane. I could never hear its words, but at times I could feel strange emotions, not my own, touching on my mind. There was often a sense of triumph, sometimes anticipation, and at other times there was fury. I couldn't sense anything often, but when I did I felt a repulsed and drawn at the same time. The conflicting emotions usually tired me to the point of sleep whenever I began to hear the shadow's thoughts.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
A couple days after Alex visited for the first time, a different figure entered the room. It was the brightest I had seen so far, the familiar, winged shape sharply defined against the prevailing shadows. I felt even more humiliated than before, but there was also a small amount of joy in his presence.
The first lifting of my spirits since falling victim to the darkness didn't last long. It was almost immediately apparent that Nova did not and would not understand the severity of what had happened to me. How could he know, anyway? To him, it seemed, it was just a setback in my growth of power; a physical injury that I would recover and rise from. But I could not seem to convince him, it was so much more.
I tried to tell him, but I hadn't even sorted out my own thoughts enough to voice it. I had to translate emotions to words, an impossible thing with such a clouded mind. All I expressed in the end was irritation, telling him he didn't get it. I couldn't explain further. I had to sleep.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
The next day, I felt for the first time I was getting slightly stronger. I could shift my position in bed without feeling I had run a marathon and I could turn my head without becoming incredibly dizzy. It was the first sign to me that I might actually have a chance at coming back... physically. My spirit still felt bloodied and dark.
The winged light entered the room again, this time with strange black streaks moving through it. Embarrassed about how the last visit had gone, I was ready to apologize, until I realized it was not Nova after all… the voice was too calm, quiet.
I hadn't expected Nova's brother to show in the infirmary, and wasn't at all ready for it. It was the worst having him there and seeing me helpless; he had watched my power grow for a while now, and I expected him to be disappointed that I had lost control over it. As it turned out, Adam's attitude was much the same as his brother's: that I had simply shed an unneeded power in progression toward whatever awaited me next. I thought then that it must have been some sort of result of the training they had, that they would think this way.
By then I had gathered my thoughts more… I tried to explain to him that I had lost more than power, that something else more important had been taken from me.
I remember his reply clearly. "I understand what you mean, but let me say something. If it was about friendship and loss, I do regret your loss. But… do not think you fool me saying it wasn't about power. If it has been about friendship, all those times I watched you in the islands, you would have sat quietly and spoke to a friend. You have long had control over these things, yet you always pushed forward, seeking advancement, improvement, more power. It's not a weakness to miss that. It is a weakness to deny it, though."
It wasn't entirely true. But it hit home. After he left I considered what he had said, that and more. I knew I'd come close to death, and I began to think about if I would have been satisfied with how I had lived. Nothing like almost loosing your life to start you thinking on changing it.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
It was a week of weariness and sorrow, and it seemed to drag on for eternity. An hour was like a day, waiting for something to change and make the pain go away. I knew that soon I'd have to get back on my feet, but despair was a heavy weight and I didn't want to do anything. Shifting in and out of consciousness, I dwelt in a dark mist, recovering from my injuries and still fighting a deeper battle.
Released
"Kierin? Are you awake?"
"I am now." I turned my head towards the now-familiar outline of the nurse. The last time I had seen her was when she'd brought in something earlier that day. It was a basket which I'd been told contained colorful balloons, a stuffed panda, and candy. A note attached to it had been read to me, 'Miss you. Get well soon… or else!' Receiving it had been one of the few uplifting moments I'd had in the room.
She seemed to be carrying something else this time, though it didn’t' look like another gift. "What's that?"
"A new set of clothes, and a new comm unit." Her voice seemed a little tense as she set the bundle down next to the basket.
I sat up a little in surprise. "…Was I supposed to be better by now?"
She sighed. "The man who put those bandages on you said that you should be able to get up and walk around, but I personally would rather you didn't even get out of bed yet. I may not know a lot about magic, but I can tell you're still too weak to leave."
"…Yeah. I'm too tired to get up anyway. Thanks for bringing them, though."
Her sigh of relief made me think of something, but I couldn’t tell what it was at first. "That's a good idea, Kierin. Please just rest for now, I'll come to check on you later." Just as she was about to leave I realized.
"Wait. What's the date?"
The sigh this time was more resigned then relieved. "May 31st."
…Damn. I took a breath to steel myself before pulling the covers off.
"Kierin, please, just rest…"
"No. Prom is tonight and I don't even have a dress. I'll be careful."
I felt the shadow's amusement break through into my mind for an instant. Of course… I was always so careful.
"Please do…" She left, closing the door behind her.
Now I needed to get a dress… which I definitely couldn't do on my own, not with my sight as it was. I turned on the comm to a private channel. "Hey, Alex. Can you help me with something?"
"I am now." I turned my head towards the now-familiar outline of the nurse. The last time I had seen her was when she'd brought in something earlier that day. It was a basket which I'd been told contained colorful balloons, a stuffed panda, and candy. A note attached to it had been read to me, 'Miss you. Get well soon… or else!' Receiving it had been one of the few uplifting moments I'd had in the room.
She seemed to be carrying something else this time, though it didn’t' look like another gift. "What's that?"
"A new set of clothes, and a new comm unit." Her voice seemed a little tense as she set the bundle down next to the basket.
I sat up a little in surprise. "…Was I supposed to be better by now?"
She sighed. "The man who put those bandages on you said that you should be able to get up and walk around, but I personally would rather you didn't even get out of bed yet. I may not know a lot about magic, but I can tell you're still too weak to leave."
"…Yeah. I'm too tired to get up anyway. Thanks for bringing them, though."
Her sigh of relief made me think of something, but I couldn’t tell what it was at first. "That's a good idea, Kierin. Please just rest for now, I'll come to check on you later." Just as she was about to leave I realized.
"Wait. What's the date?"
The sigh this time was more resigned then relieved. "May 31st."
…Damn. I took a breath to steel myself before pulling the covers off.
"Kierin, please, just rest…"
"No. Prom is tonight and I don't even have a dress. I'll be careful."
I felt the shadow's amusement break through into my mind for an instant. Of course… I was always so careful.
"Please do…" She left, closing the door behind her.
Now I needed to get a dress… which I definitely couldn't do on my own, not with my sight as it was. I turned on the comm to a private channel. "Hey, Alex. Can you help me with something?"
Re: Rise from the Ashes
(( This is horribly late... the events here occured one week after prom. ))
It was a week after I'd gotten out of the infirmary.
Walking around the city was strange and frightening experience. The skyscrapers, streets, and hills appeared to my damaged eyes to be surfaces of shifting shadows, and the people nothing more than points of light among the darkness. The sky was blank, not quite black, but nothing else either, just a void. The sun was a white disk, floating above me at some indeterminable distance. It illuminated nothing.
Now I stood at the door of an apartment. The MAGI employee who had brought me here was already heading back to his car, and I was trying to gather the courage to knock at the door.
I'd been told the previous day that someone wanted to see me about my powers, that it was in fact the same man who had put the bandages around my eyes and hands. His name was Taylor Kennis, and according to the rest of the doctors, I wouldn't have survived without his help. I knew he would have answers to some of my questions. Answers that I was afraid to hear.
I stood at the door, debating whether to knock or just turn around and leave. I'd looked after myself until now, and Adam could probably help me if I couldn't avoid getting help. There was no reason I had to seek this man's help.
The blindfold itched. I put my hands on it and shifted it, just slightly, wincing at the stinging in my eyes. After only a moment more of hesitation, I reached up a gloved hand and knocked at the door.
And waited.
Unbelievable. Was he really not even here, after all that? I knocked again, to make sure. He's the one that called me here, after all…
A plaintive voice called, sounding faint from inside the house. "What! Come in!"
I opened the door, poking my head in cautiously. Even with my sight as it was, I could tell the place was a mess. There were several vaguely rectangular objects piled precariously in various places, and it took a few seconds for me to recognize them all as books. Various random objects were scattered across the floor. My hopes of getting professional help were quickly fading.
I could see a brighter area, to my right. Assuming the light was from the man's energy, I slowly made my way across the obstacle course and found myself at another doorway. I stood frozen, entranced.
The room was a flood of light. I'd never seen so much activity registered by my new sight. At first it was a shapeless mass, but quickly the image resolved itself into strangely shaped objects. They were artifacts, and I could see their magic energy pulsating through the room. There was also a person there, sitting at what looked like a desk, with his back turned to me. Guessing this was the man I'd come to see, I cleared my throat softly.
The figure made a sudden movement accompanied by something that sounded like a cross between a gasp and a shriek, nearly falling out of the chair. "Agh! Who are y… oh!" The nebulous form quickly stood up and dusted itself off. "Y-You must be Kierin! Yes… yes I recognize you, welcome!"
"That's me… and you are?" Please, I thought, Please don't let this be the man who'd called me here.
"Why, didn't you get my note? I'm um, Taylor. That is, Taylor Kennis." The man stepped closer, extending a hand. I offered him my own and sighed as he shook it. He was about a half a foot shorter than me and he'd already dropped whatever he was working on from his desk when he got up. I was beginning to feel very lucky to be alive.
Suddenly a very hard tug on my hand made me stumble forward. The man had removed my glove, tossed it over his shoulder, and was closely examining the bandage still wrapped around my palm, holding it low enough so that I had to bend down slightly. I frowned. "Hey, what are you-"
Without looking up he wagged a finger in front of my face. "Shh, I need to concentrate." For several seconds I let him poke at my palm as he muttered under his breath. Finally he dropped my hand, but as I tried to stand straight he put a hand heavily on my shoulder and started running his fingers across the chains around my blindfold.
"…This is kind of uncomfortable, you know, Mr. Kennis."
"Please, it's Taylor. I have to check these anyway, so I'm just getting it over with…" I sighed again, resigned to his inspection. After he had lifted my hair to examine the entire length of the chain, he sat back onto his chair and pulled a notepad out from a drawer. After scribbling quickly on it, he motioned to another chair to my right. "Oh I'm sorry, go ahead and take a seat, Kierin."
I sat down after making sure there were no objects occupying the chair already. There was so much lying around I felt as if I'd break something if I moved.
"Okay!" His voice was cheerful, but he sounded slightly more focused. "Okay. So, you, er, went to your prom, correct?"
"Yeah."
"Well! That's good. I knew, that you could handle it, from what I'd heard you were a strong girl and you were recovering quickly… That nurse, she was so strict it was… hrm. So you went to the dance, how was it?"
"…why do you want to know?"
"Oh. Oh, no! I meant, that is, how did you feel? Did you get sick? You still probably were not quite ready, though I figured you could handle it."
"…I was really tired and kind of nauseous. But I'm glad I went."
"Good! Yes, I'm not surprised you didn't feel well, but I'm glad you had fun at least!"
I leaned back with a small sigh. Talking to this guy was making me feel nervous. He sounded incredibly tense, and I could see his hands fidgeting as he talked. It was starting to get contagious; I had to force myself to relax while he was speaking. "Is that all you wanted to see me about?"
"Hm, all business, aren't you? Very well…" The room was silent for a couple moments except for a few slow breaths. "I will try to give you the short version. I am a researcher for MAGI, and my area of expertise is interaction between magical entities and other objects from our world. This includes artifacts-" He waved his hand at something orb-shaped on his desk- "and people." He pointed at me, waiting a few more seconds before continuing.
"You aren't the only person out there who is bound to a magical energy, as I'm sure you realize. MAGI was not at first concerned enough with your power to consult someone like me, because you seemed to have it under enough control that the good people of Saint Joseph's could make up for whatever you lacked. Obviously that has changed."
I had been afraid of this. "So now that they think I can't control my power, they're going to try to control it for me."
"I should think not!" Taylor shook his head violently. "No no no! The thing about magic like this, Kierin, is that unfortunate events such as the one that occured three weeks ago do not simply happen overnight! This energy, while powerful, has somewhat of a… stability about it, that prevents such violence from occurring without warning. You simply were not attuned to your power enough to see the warning signs."
Once again I thought about all the warning signs I had seen. I just hadn't acted, hadn't been careful enough… but it was too late to fix now. "So what are you going to do then?"
"You, Kierin, are going to come here every… oh let's say, um… Monday and Thursday? Yes, that works, at, um, Seven PM! Is that alright with you?" I nodded. "Right then, you'll come then and I will check your progress. I will ask questions about the magic, which you will answer with complete honesty…" he paused until I nodded in agreement- "and we will make sure everything is stable! When you decide to trust me you might even ask for help once in a while."
"And in between meetings, what? I shouldn't use my powers?"
He began writing in his notepad again. "Er, on your own free time? Well, unless I see your powers beginning to act dangerously, that is, if I begin to suspect another incident like the last one, I'll have to restrict you… but, really, other than that you should just do what you have been doing. Your patrol work has been very impressive."
"Wait… you want me to keep fighting? After what happened?"
Taylor paused from his writing, raising his head to face me. "You doubt my abilities? I assure you I am very good at what I do."
"Well… no… these seals seem to be working well…"
"You doubt your own abilities?"
"No!"
"Then there is no reason for you not to fight." I could hear the smile in his voice. "I have heard high praise of how quickly you focus your power, and how powerful it is when you unleash it. You are a fighter, Kierin, isn't that right?"
A fighter. I remembered what I had spent those days in the infirmary thinking about. It wasn't the fighter in me that missed the quiet reassurance of the Sky. But I could already feel the sorrow growing dull. Was it nothing more than growing pains? A sting I experienced as I left behind something that I no longer needed?
A fighter. "I guess."
It was a week after I'd gotten out of the infirmary.
Walking around the city was strange and frightening experience. The skyscrapers, streets, and hills appeared to my damaged eyes to be surfaces of shifting shadows, and the people nothing more than points of light among the darkness. The sky was blank, not quite black, but nothing else either, just a void. The sun was a white disk, floating above me at some indeterminable distance. It illuminated nothing.
Now I stood at the door of an apartment. The MAGI employee who had brought me here was already heading back to his car, and I was trying to gather the courage to knock at the door.
I'd been told the previous day that someone wanted to see me about my powers, that it was in fact the same man who had put the bandages around my eyes and hands. His name was Taylor Kennis, and according to the rest of the doctors, I wouldn't have survived without his help. I knew he would have answers to some of my questions. Answers that I was afraid to hear.
I stood at the door, debating whether to knock or just turn around and leave. I'd looked after myself until now, and Adam could probably help me if I couldn't avoid getting help. There was no reason I had to seek this man's help.
The blindfold itched. I put my hands on it and shifted it, just slightly, wincing at the stinging in my eyes. After only a moment more of hesitation, I reached up a gloved hand and knocked at the door.
And waited.
Unbelievable. Was he really not even here, after all that? I knocked again, to make sure. He's the one that called me here, after all…
A plaintive voice called, sounding faint from inside the house. "What! Come in!"
I opened the door, poking my head in cautiously. Even with my sight as it was, I could tell the place was a mess. There were several vaguely rectangular objects piled precariously in various places, and it took a few seconds for me to recognize them all as books. Various random objects were scattered across the floor. My hopes of getting professional help were quickly fading.
I could see a brighter area, to my right. Assuming the light was from the man's energy, I slowly made my way across the obstacle course and found myself at another doorway. I stood frozen, entranced.
The room was a flood of light. I'd never seen so much activity registered by my new sight. At first it was a shapeless mass, but quickly the image resolved itself into strangely shaped objects. They were artifacts, and I could see their magic energy pulsating through the room. There was also a person there, sitting at what looked like a desk, with his back turned to me. Guessing this was the man I'd come to see, I cleared my throat softly.
The figure made a sudden movement accompanied by something that sounded like a cross between a gasp and a shriek, nearly falling out of the chair. "Agh! Who are y… oh!" The nebulous form quickly stood up and dusted itself off. "Y-You must be Kierin! Yes… yes I recognize you, welcome!"
"That's me… and you are?" Please, I thought, Please don't let this be the man who'd called me here.
"Why, didn't you get my note? I'm um, Taylor. That is, Taylor Kennis." The man stepped closer, extending a hand. I offered him my own and sighed as he shook it. He was about a half a foot shorter than me and he'd already dropped whatever he was working on from his desk when he got up. I was beginning to feel very lucky to be alive.
Suddenly a very hard tug on my hand made me stumble forward. The man had removed my glove, tossed it over his shoulder, and was closely examining the bandage still wrapped around my palm, holding it low enough so that I had to bend down slightly. I frowned. "Hey, what are you-"
Without looking up he wagged a finger in front of my face. "Shh, I need to concentrate." For several seconds I let him poke at my palm as he muttered under his breath. Finally he dropped my hand, but as I tried to stand straight he put a hand heavily on my shoulder and started running his fingers across the chains around my blindfold.
"…This is kind of uncomfortable, you know, Mr. Kennis."
"Please, it's Taylor. I have to check these anyway, so I'm just getting it over with…" I sighed again, resigned to his inspection. After he had lifted my hair to examine the entire length of the chain, he sat back onto his chair and pulled a notepad out from a drawer. After scribbling quickly on it, he motioned to another chair to my right. "Oh I'm sorry, go ahead and take a seat, Kierin."
I sat down after making sure there were no objects occupying the chair already. There was so much lying around I felt as if I'd break something if I moved.
"Okay!" His voice was cheerful, but he sounded slightly more focused. "Okay. So, you, er, went to your prom, correct?"
"Yeah."
"Well! That's good. I knew, that you could handle it, from what I'd heard you were a strong girl and you were recovering quickly… That nurse, she was so strict it was… hrm. So you went to the dance, how was it?"
"…why do you want to know?"
"Oh. Oh, no! I meant, that is, how did you feel? Did you get sick? You still probably were not quite ready, though I figured you could handle it."
"…I was really tired and kind of nauseous. But I'm glad I went."
"Good! Yes, I'm not surprised you didn't feel well, but I'm glad you had fun at least!"
I leaned back with a small sigh. Talking to this guy was making me feel nervous. He sounded incredibly tense, and I could see his hands fidgeting as he talked. It was starting to get contagious; I had to force myself to relax while he was speaking. "Is that all you wanted to see me about?"
"Hm, all business, aren't you? Very well…" The room was silent for a couple moments except for a few slow breaths. "I will try to give you the short version. I am a researcher for MAGI, and my area of expertise is interaction between magical entities and other objects from our world. This includes artifacts-" He waved his hand at something orb-shaped on his desk- "and people." He pointed at me, waiting a few more seconds before continuing.
"You aren't the only person out there who is bound to a magical energy, as I'm sure you realize. MAGI was not at first concerned enough with your power to consult someone like me, because you seemed to have it under enough control that the good people of Saint Joseph's could make up for whatever you lacked. Obviously that has changed."
I had been afraid of this. "So now that they think I can't control my power, they're going to try to control it for me."
"I should think not!" Taylor shook his head violently. "No no no! The thing about magic like this, Kierin, is that unfortunate events such as the one that occured three weeks ago do not simply happen overnight! This energy, while powerful, has somewhat of a… stability about it, that prevents such violence from occurring without warning. You simply were not attuned to your power enough to see the warning signs."
Once again I thought about all the warning signs I had seen. I just hadn't acted, hadn't been careful enough… but it was too late to fix now. "So what are you going to do then?"
"You, Kierin, are going to come here every… oh let's say, um… Monday and Thursday? Yes, that works, at, um, Seven PM! Is that alright with you?" I nodded. "Right then, you'll come then and I will check your progress. I will ask questions about the magic, which you will answer with complete honesty…" he paused until I nodded in agreement- "and we will make sure everything is stable! When you decide to trust me you might even ask for help once in a while."
"And in between meetings, what? I shouldn't use my powers?"
He began writing in his notepad again. "Er, on your own free time? Well, unless I see your powers beginning to act dangerously, that is, if I begin to suspect another incident like the last one, I'll have to restrict you… but, really, other than that you should just do what you have been doing. Your patrol work has been very impressive."
"Wait… you want me to keep fighting? After what happened?"
Taylor paused from his writing, raising his head to face me. "You doubt my abilities? I assure you I am very good at what I do."
"Well… no… these seals seem to be working well…"
"You doubt your own abilities?"
"No!"
"Then there is no reason for you not to fight." I could hear the smile in his voice. "I have heard high praise of how quickly you focus your power, and how powerful it is when you unleash it. You are a fighter, Kierin, isn't that right?"
A fighter. I remembered what I had spent those days in the infirmary thinking about. It wasn't the fighter in me that missed the quiet reassurance of the Sky. But I could already feel the sorrow growing dull. Was it nothing more than growing pains? A sting I experienced as I left behind something that I no longer needed?
A fighter. "I guess."
Re: Rise from the Ashes
My hand reached through the twisting shadows, pressed against the soldier’s armor. The dark air undulated with an explosion as the energy in his body was torn. Most of the other Council fighters were knocked to the ground, and the few that remained were quickly dispatched by the black and violet haze of destruction surrounding me.
I continued down the hall, and the shadows pulled inward, wrapping tightly around me. I could feel their elation, a distant emotion I only caught glimpses of during battle.
More soldiers. I could sense them around the corner. They had their guns ready, knowing I would be there soon.
I emerged from the shadows behind them. In half a minute they were all on the ground.
According to the map they had shown me before sending me to the complex, the next room was the last I had to look. MAGI had me chasing the Archon through two other bases, but now I had him cornered.
The door opened with a hiss. A small object sailed through the air toward me: a grenade. I heard a laugh escape my throat. A tendril of shadow reached out and snatched the explosive from the air and flicked it back toward the thrower. The soldier dived behind a large piece of expensive-looking machinery to escape the explosion, but I was already there waiting for him. I manipulated the shadows, catching his fierce kick and throwing him against a wall.
“Dammit! She’s already here!”
“Told you she was fast.”
The second voice was him: Archon Martell. He had stolen some minor magical artifacts and was proving to be more trouble than expected.
Something that was definitely not a bullet shot over my head. An arrow, from a Warrior longbow. I scanned the area quickly, picking out a group of soldiers, situated around two figures. One of those two was definitely not wearing Council armor.
I disappeared from behind the machine as the hail of bullets, teleporting to the top of a metal beam which ran across the ceiling. The soldiers were still firing at where I had been. The Warrior held a broadsword and had assumed a defensive stance. The Archon was surveying the entire room cautiously. I felt mirth within me. That soldier knew I wasn’t hiding anymore. I closed my eyes, taking a moment to gather my power.
Negative energy rained down on them, powerful and merciless. A few fell unconscious to the suffocating aura, and most of the others were brought to the ground by the force of the blasts. Another arrow flitted past me, only barely deflected by the shadows. I had no idea what he was doing here, but I had to take the Warrior down.
Even covered in darkness as he was, he still somehow noticed as I appeared behind him. I struck him in the side with a blast of energy, before he swung the broadsword at me with inhuman strength. The dark energy gathered at the point of impact, cushioning the blow, but the force of it sent me flying to the side.
I landed on my feet, took two steps back, and fired beams of energy from my eyes, through my blindfold. The attack caught him off guard, striking him in the shoulder. His arm convulsed and he lost his grip the sword. I teleported again, grabbing his other shoulder and pushing him down, my strength augmented by the dark energy. His giant body slammed against the metal floor before his sword hit the ground. All that was left now was Martell.
The machinegun fire hit my back like a jackhammer. I stumbled forward and tried to teleport, but all I could manage was a swift dart to the side, around a corner. I dropped to my hands and knees.
“Good God, I hit you.” The Archon’s tone of voice was indecipherable through whatever filter his helmet was equipped with. “That was more than I expected.”
I clenched my fists, trying to slow my breathing. The bullets hadn’t pierced my skin thanks to the shadows, but my entire torso felt as if it had been thrown against a wall. Pausing to catch my breath was a bad idea; all the exhaustion of the battle so far was catching up to me. Too many teleports, I knew. I had wasted too much energy, again.
I sensed him slowly approaching the corner, weapon raised and ready. “You’re very young for a hero, aren’t you? In the glimpses I caught, you seemed no more than eighteen.”
Sixteen, I thought. Wasn’t it sixteen? Or had my birthday passed already?
Distracting thoughts. I blinked them away. Everything started to tilt. Dizziness was not a good sign.
“You really are amazing. So quick. Efficient. I suppose if I have to be defeated already, it may as well be by someone as powerful as you. Even bullets can be deflected by that amazing energy.”
He severely overestimated me. Useless words. But it gave me time to think. I looked down and saw the unconscious form of the soldier who had thrown the grenade as I entered the room. I reached down and focused, drawing energy from his body. The dizziness subsided.
I probed again around the corner with my energy sense. The Archon was turning slowly, no longer advancing. He had assumed I had already teleported somewhere else. “Please, no need to make me wait. I must see if I can do any more damage before you take me.”
I poked my head around the corner, blasting energy from my eyes. The machinegun was snapped in half by the blast, leaving the Archon holding two useless pieces of metal. I followed up with two bursts of darkness, both of which struck him square in the chest. They seemed to have no effect.
Even through the filter I could discern a laugh. He tossed the wreckage of his weapon aside, dropping into a martial arts stance. “You’re actually getting tired! And here I was all ready for an impressive display. What a disappointment you are.”
The shadows undulated with anger and frustration. How dare he? How dare he! It was only bad luck that I couldn’t bring him down as fast as any of the other weaklings I’d had to fight through to get to him. I’d just have to show him.
I teleported to his side, sweeping a leg across his and slamming my palm on his back, dropping him in a way similar to the Warrior. At the last moment, however, I felt a spasm from the immense drain of the energy surge and faltered. He landed on his hands and flipped forward, bouncing from the landing to a kick that knocked my breath away.
I fell to my knees, gasping in pain as he pulled me up by the front of my shirt and slammed me against the wall. Shadows hit weakly on his armor, and gathered around his hand, trying to push him away. He tightened his grip. Something near my neck started beeping softly. The med badge would teleport me away soon.
No!
I gasped, this time in shock as well as pain. The voice was so clear. With it came the surge of emotions that had been boiling beneath the surface of my consciousness since I lost my storm powers.
No! Don’t let it take you away from this now! He’s nothing! You can defeat him!
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak.
Archon Martell, on the other hand, wouldn‘t shut up. “…and now that I have you… let’s see what you’re hiding under this blindfold.”
A mad giggle echoed in my head. You can’t. But I can. And I will.
The blindfold came off. Light assaulted my eyes for a split second before they were completely engulfed in darkness. Power surged through my body and my knee slammed into the Archon’s stomach.
I could see it playing out before me like a bad dream. The Archon stumbled a step back before regaining his composure. “Hah… after getting my hopes up, too. I thought I had actually won. Perhaps that was a bad move on my part.”
My face grinned. “That’s never a good idea, dealing with me.” I couldn’t stop my mouth from speaking the words.
Are you still watching? Go to sleep.
Sleep?
I’ll make quick work of this one. Take a little nap, will you?
I could feel my consciousness slipping away, as if I really was about to fall asleep. I hung on desperately. The power had my body, and that old fear I’d always had suddenly ignited in me. I had lost control… and whatever this power did to my mind, that was not something I wanted.
The Archon leaped forward with a quick roundhouse kick at my stomach. My arm came up to block it. I felt my own hand grip his leg, felt my wrist twist, and saw Martell flip back and land hard on his back.
“Agh… I’ve got to hand it to you. You weren’t nearly that proficient before. A power boost of some kind?”
The thing controlling me bent down slightly, smiling as he struggled to his feet. “No, not quite. I just removed certain… limits. With your help. Thaaaank yooou.” The voice sounded sweet, genuinely grateful.
The Archon raised his head, looking up into my eyes. I don’t know what exactly he saw through his helmets lenses, but I could tell from his sudden stillness that it scared him. “I believe I liked you better with the blindfold.”
“Well, you’re just out of luck, aren’t you?” The voice’s tone had changed completely, becoming a soft, cold whisper of menace.
The pistol came out of nowhere, fired straight at my face. I felt an impact, but it was only the dark energy blocking the bullet. The world turned black for a split second, and when I could see again the Archon was on the ground, unconscious. I fell to the ground, suddenly in control of my limbs again.
Find me something stronger, will you? He was a pushover.
I continued down the hall, and the shadows pulled inward, wrapping tightly around me. I could feel their elation, a distant emotion I only caught glimpses of during battle.
More soldiers. I could sense them around the corner. They had their guns ready, knowing I would be there soon.
I emerged from the shadows behind them. In half a minute they were all on the ground.
According to the map they had shown me before sending me to the complex, the next room was the last I had to look. MAGI had me chasing the Archon through two other bases, but now I had him cornered.
The door opened with a hiss. A small object sailed through the air toward me: a grenade. I heard a laugh escape my throat. A tendril of shadow reached out and snatched the explosive from the air and flicked it back toward the thrower. The soldier dived behind a large piece of expensive-looking machinery to escape the explosion, but I was already there waiting for him. I manipulated the shadows, catching his fierce kick and throwing him against a wall.
“Dammit! She’s already here!”
“Told you she was fast.”
The second voice was him: Archon Martell. He had stolen some minor magical artifacts and was proving to be more trouble than expected.
Something that was definitely not a bullet shot over my head. An arrow, from a Warrior longbow. I scanned the area quickly, picking out a group of soldiers, situated around two figures. One of those two was definitely not wearing Council armor.
I disappeared from behind the machine as the hail of bullets, teleporting to the top of a metal beam which ran across the ceiling. The soldiers were still firing at where I had been. The Warrior held a broadsword and had assumed a defensive stance. The Archon was surveying the entire room cautiously. I felt mirth within me. That soldier knew I wasn’t hiding anymore. I closed my eyes, taking a moment to gather my power.
Negative energy rained down on them, powerful and merciless. A few fell unconscious to the suffocating aura, and most of the others were brought to the ground by the force of the blasts. Another arrow flitted past me, only barely deflected by the shadows. I had no idea what he was doing here, but I had to take the Warrior down.
Even covered in darkness as he was, he still somehow noticed as I appeared behind him. I struck him in the side with a blast of energy, before he swung the broadsword at me with inhuman strength. The dark energy gathered at the point of impact, cushioning the blow, but the force of it sent me flying to the side.
I landed on my feet, took two steps back, and fired beams of energy from my eyes, through my blindfold. The attack caught him off guard, striking him in the shoulder. His arm convulsed and he lost his grip the sword. I teleported again, grabbing his other shoulder and pushing him down, my strength augmented by the dark energy. His giant body slammed against the metal floor before his sword hit the ground. All that was left now was Martell.
The machinegun fire hit my back like a jackhammer. I stumbled forward and tried to teleport, but all I could manage was a swift dart to the side, around a corner. I dropped to my hands and knees.
“Good God, I hit you.” The Archon’s tone of voice was indecipherable through whatever filter his helmet was equipped with. “That was more than I expected.”
I clenched my fists, trying to slow my breathing. The bullets hadn’t pierced my skin thanks to the shadows, but my entire torso felt as if it had been thrown against a wall. Pausing to catch my breath was a bad idea; all the exhaustion of the battle so far was catching up to me. Too many teleports, I knew. I had wasted too much energy, again.
I sensed him slowly approaching the corner, weapon raised and ready. “You’re very young for a hero, aren’t you? In the glimpses I caught, you seemed no more than eighteen.”
Sixteen, I thought. Wasn’t it sixteen? Or had my birthday passed already?
Distracting thoughts. I blinked them away. Everything started to tilt. Dizziness was not a good sign.
“You really are amazing. So quick. Efficient. I suppose if I have to be defeated already, it may as well be by someone as powerful as you. Even bullets can be deflected by that amazing energy.”
He severely overestimated me. Useless words. But it gave me time to think. I looked down and saw the unconscious form of the soldier who had thrown the grenade as I entered the room. I reached down and focused, drawing energy from his body. The dizziness subsided.
I probed again around the corner with my energy sense. The Archon was turning slowly, no longer advancing. He had assumed I had already teleported somewhere else. “Please, no need to make me wait. I must see if I can do any more damage before you take me.”
I poked my head around the corner, blasting energy from my eyes. The machinegun was snapped in half by the blast, leaving the Archon holding two useless pieces of metal. I followed up with two bursts of darkness, both of which struck him square in the chest. They seemed to have no effect.
Even through the filter I could discern a laugh. He tossed the wreckage of his weapon aside, dropping into a martial arts stance. “You’re actually getting tired! And here I was all ready for an impressive display. What a disappointment you are.”
The shadows undulated with anger and frustration. How dare he? How dare he! It was only bad luck that I couldn’t bring him down as fast as any of the other weaklings I’d had to fight through to get to him. I’d just have to show him.
I teleported to his side, sweeping a leg across his and slamming my palm on his back, dropping him in a way similar to the Warrior. At the last moment, however, I felt a spasm from the immense drain of the energy surge and faltered. He landed on his hands and flipped forward, bouncing from the landing to a kick that knocked my breath away.
I fell to my knees, gasping in pain as he pulled me up by the front of my shirt and slammed me against the wall. Shadows hit weakly on his armor, and gathered around his hand, trying to push him away. He tightened his grip. Something near my neck started beeping softly. The med badge would teleport me away soon.
No!
I gasped, this time in shock as well as pain. The voice was so clear. With it came the surge of emotions that had been boiling beneath the surface of my consciousness since I lost my storm powers.
No! Don’t let it take you away from this now! He’s nothing! You can defeat him!
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t speak.
Archon Martell, on the other hand, wouldn‘t shut up. “…and now that I have you… let’s see what you’re hiding under this blindfold.”
A mad giggle echoed in my head. You can’t. But I can. And I will.
The blindfold came off. Light assaulted my eyes for a split second before they were completely engulfed in darkness. Power surged through my body and my knee slammed into the Archon’s stomach.
I could see it playing out before me like a bad dream. The Archon stumbled a step back before regaining his composure. “Hah… after getting my hopes up, too. I thought I had actually won. Perhaps that was a bad move on my part.”
My face grinned. “That’s never a good idea, dealing with me.” I couldn’t stop my mouth from speaking the words.
Are you still watching? Go to sleep.
Sleep?
I’ll make quick work of this one. Take a little nap, will you?
I could feel my consciousness slipping away, as if I really was about to fall asleep. I hung on desperately. The power had my body, and that old fear I’d always had suddenly ignited in me. I had lost control… and whatever this power did to my mind, that was not something I wanted.
The Archon leaped forward with a quick roundhouse kick at my stomach. My arm came up to block it. I felt my own hand grip his leg, felt my wrist twist, and saw Martell flip back and land hard on his back.
“Agh… I’ve got to hand it to you. You weren’t nearly that proficient before. A power boost of some kind?”
The thing controlling me bent down slightly, smiling as he struggled to his feet. “No, not quite. I just removed certain… limits. With your help. Thaaaank yooou.” The voice sounded sweet, genuinely grateful.
The Archon raised his head, looking up into my eyes. I don’t know what exactly he saw through his helmets lenses, but I could tell from his sudden stillness that it scared him. “I believe I liked you better with the blindfold.”
“Well, you’re just out of luck, aren’t you?” The voice’s tone had changed completely, becoming a soft, cold whisper of menace.
The pistol came out of nowhere, fired straight at my face. I felt an impact, but it was only the dark energy blocking the bullet. The world turned black for a split second, and when I could see again the Archon was on the ground, unconscious. I fell to the ground, suddenly in control of my limbs again.
Find me something stronger, will you? He was a pushover.
Re: Rise from the Ashes
“Hmmm…” Taylor peered at me closely, his strange expression emphasized in my vision by violet lines tracing over his features. Several weeks ago the seal around my eyes had been removed, and I‘d gotten some of my old vision back. It was still clouded by darkness, and I still used my energy sight more in battle, but it was better than nothing. One of the surprises was Taylor’s appearance: A short, balding man in his late 50’s, wearing round glasses. He was decidedly goofy-looking, but I knew by now that he was an expert at what he did. Which, at the moment, was trying to figure out what the hell was happening to me.
“It took complete control, then?”
I nodded. “I couldn’t move my body at all.”
“And this is the first time this has happened?”
“…that I can remember.”
His eyes narrowed suspiciously. “You were supposed to talk to me about anything unusual. Memory loss is-”
My fingers twitched with irritation. “I already told you that fighting made me feel dazed and always went too fast. It could have taken over anytime for a few seconds and I never would have noticed. This was more severe.”
“O-oh…” He sighed, leaning back in his chair and staring at the cieling. “Well… hm. Well. Was there anything, um, strange about the fight itself? Just, like, anything different that could have triggered it, you know.”
“No. I’ve lost fights before, but it never reacted like that. The Archon wasn’t stronger than I’m used to. I just tired myself out early.”
His eyes lowered to me again. “What time was it when that happened?”
I raised an eyebrow. “The time? I don’t know exactly. Late evening.”
He nodded. “On a Saturday, right? Then you had been patrolling all day?”
I clenched my jaw, realizing where these questions were going. “Yes.”
“Well… And you said it told you to go to sleep. Was that the exact word?”
I turned my head slightly. “Yes.”
“Well, I think it’s quite obvious what the problem is.”
“Taylor, if I start taking longer breaks it’ll just get more control over me. You know the only way to wear it out is for me to fight.”
He smiled at me and raised a finger. “Now now, wait a moment, please. You are right, of course. It would certainly not be a good idea to have you lessen your patrol time. Erm, that is, until we figure out how to weaken it without making it fight. But… Well, you will have to make a sacrifice either way, Kierin.”
I sighed, taking my shades off and wiping them on my shirt. “What do I need to do?”
“Well… well, we have the power limiter built into your medbadge, which should knock you out in case you begin to emit too much energy. That will prevent you… er, it… from doing anything too catastrophic. But! But, you definitely shouldn’t be out that tired… at least not alone. You have to pay attention to your fatigue, and if you start to feel tired, you better get some company.”
I sighed. “Fine. Only when I really need it.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
That sweet smile of hers was starting to drive me crazy. I stared at her hair, grateful that she couldn’t see my eyes behind the dark glasses.
The questions came again.
Why do I patrol all day? It’s what I do. It’s what I’m good at. It’s all I want to do.
Don’t I think this is bad for me? I don’t think it matters anymore.
Don’t I miss my friends? No.
She told me something needed to change. I reminded her that she didn’t know what she was talking about. The creature inside of me was affecting my emotions in ways that she wasn’t trained to deal with.
Valerie Atwood showed me the picture she had drawn. I saw myself sitting on the floor of a prison. There was a chain tied to my wrist. The other end was tied to a shadow which stood outside the prison bars.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Taylor folded his hands over his notepad. It was enough to secure my interest. I glanced up at him, waiting for whatever he had to say.
“Kierin… um, I think we have to shift our focus for a while.”
“Why?”
“Well… quite simply… the school isn’t satisfied. You spend almost every waking moment… well, except in class… patrolling. It’s, uh, too much. And your grades are slipping. Pretty badly in fact. You usually excel in class work.”
“I have to patrol. If I don’t fight-”
“Kierin.” Taylor hesitated for a moment, then his voice turned flat and his words were slow and blunt. “This isn’t going to work any longer. You can’t surrender to this creature’s wishes anymore. It is not loosening its hold over you; it is only finding ways to circumvent my efforts to keep it under control.”
I had been afraid of this…. “Ok. What do we do then?”
“We…” He sighed and rested his head in his hands for several seconds before continuing. “We need to focus on a far more direct approach… For that I need to know more about it.”
“I’ve told you everything I know.”
“W…Well…”
I waited. Even Taylor didn’t usually hesitate this much.
“I… need to hear more about… well, how you got this power. It might give me something… to work with.”
“…I told you I’m not going to talk about that. I haven’t told anyone that whole story.”
“I can’t do everything for you, girl!” I stood, startled by his outburst. He looked up at me and shook his head. “I know you don’t like to remember this, but… damn… I thought you were strong.”
Thought I was strong. I felt the guilt again, so weak that I wondered if even that would go away within another month. The emotions were almost gone now; I didn’t care, didn’t want to care, and wished I didn’t regret it. How could there be strength in me anymore? I thought I had made the hard decision, to go down the path of fighting, but I couldn’t have been more wrong: this was the easy way out. I had taken the suggestions of this power and now I wanted nothing more than to hide somewhere in my own mind and let this thing take over.
I sat back down and took a deep breath. In a soft monotone, I began to relate the events of my capture by Arachnos Operative Tregar.
“It took complete control, then?”
I nodded. “I couldn’t move my body at all.”
“And this is the first time this has happened?”
“…that I can remember.”
His eyes narrowed suspiciously. “You were supposed to talk to me about anything unusual. Memory loss is-”
My fingers twitched with irritation. “I already told you that fighting made me feel dazed and always went too fast. It could have taken over anytime for a few seconds and I never would have noticed. This was more severe.”
“O-oh…” He sighed, leaning back in his chair and staring at the cieling. “Well… hm. Well. Was there anything, um, strange about the fight itself? Just, like, anything different that could have triggered it, you know.”
“No. I’ve lost fights before, but it never reacted like that. The Archon wasn’t stronger than I’m used to. I just tired myself out early.”
His eyes lowered to me again. “What time was it when that happened?”
I raised an eyebrow. “The time? I don’t know exactly. Late evening.”
He nodded. “On a Saturday, right? Then you had been patrolling all day?”
I clenched my jaw, realizing where these questions were going. “Yes.”
“Well… And you said it told you to go to sleep. Was that the exact word?”
I turned my head slightly. “Yes.”
“Well, I think it’s quite obvious what the problem is.”
“Taylor, if I start taking longer breaks it’ll just get more control over me. You know the only way to wear it out is for me to fight.”
He smiled at me and raised a finger. “Now now, wait a moment, please. You are right, of course. It would certainly not be a good idea to have you lessen your patrol time. Erm, that is, until we figure out how to weaken it without making it fight. But… Well, you will have to make a sacrifice either way, Kierin.”
I sighed, taking my shades off and wiping them on my shirt. “What do I need to do?”
“Well… well, we have the power limiter built into your medbadge, which should knock you out in case you begin to emit too much energy. That will prevent you… er, it… from doing anything too catastrophic. But! But, you definitely shouldn’t be out that tired… at least not alone. You have to pay attention to your fatigue, and if you start to feel tired, you better get some company.”
I sighed. “Fine. Only when I really need it.”
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
That sweet smile of hers was starting to drive me crazy. I stared at her hair, grateful that she couldn’t see my eyes behind the dark glasses.
The questions came again.
Why do I patrol all day? It’s what I do. It’s what I’m good at. It’s all I want to do.
Don’t I think this is bad for me? I don’t think it matters anymore.
Don’t I miss my friends? No.
She told me something needed to change. I reminded her that she didn’t know what she was talking about. The creature inside of me was affecting my emotions in ways that she wasn’t trained to deal with.
Valerie Atwood showed me the picture she had drawn. I saw myself sitting on the floor of a prison. There was a chain tied to my wrist. The other end was tied to a shadow which stood outside the prison bars.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Taylor folded his hands over his notepad. It was enough to secure my interest. I glanced up at him, waiting for whatever he had to say.
“Kierin… um, I think we have to shift our focus for a while.”
“Why?”
“Well… quite simply… the school isn’t satisfied. You spend almost every waking moment… well, except in class… patrolling. It’s, uh, too much. And your grades are slipping. Pretty badly in fact. You usually excel in class work.”
“I have to patrol. If I don’t fight-”
“Kierin.” Taylor hesitated for a moment, then his voice turned flat and his words were slow and blunt. “This isn’t going to work any longer. You can’t surrender to this creature’s wishes anymore. It is not loosening its hold over you; it is only finding ways to circumvent my efforts to keep it under control.”
I had been afraid of this…. “Ok. What do we do then?”
“We…” He sighed and rested his head in his hands for several seconds before continuing. “We need to focus on a far more direct approach… For that I need to know more about it.”
“I’ve told you everything I know.”
“W…Well…”
I waited. Even Taylor didn’t usually hesitate this much.
“I… need to hear more about… well, how you got this power. It might give me something… to work with.”
“…I told you I’m not going to talk about that. I haven’t told anyone that whole story.”
“I can’t do everything for you, girl!” I stood, startled by his outburst. He looked up at me and shook his head. “I know you don’t like to remember this, but… damn… I thought you were strong.”
Thought I was strong. I felt the guilt again, so weak that I wondered if even that would go away within another month. The emotions were almost gone now; I didn’t care, didn’t want to care, and wished I didn’t regret it. How could there be strength in me anymore? I thought I had made the hard decision, to go down the path of fighting, but I couldn’t have been more wrong: this was the easy way out. I had taken the suggestions of this power and now I wanted nothing more than to hide somewhere in my own mind and let this thing take over.
I sat back down and took a deep breath. In a soft monotone, I began to relate the events of my capture by Arachnos Operative Tregar.
Re: Rise from the Ashes
Taylor had sent me home, telling me he had to think over what I told him. He seemed excited. Maybe, I thought. Maybe things are going to change. I tried to detect any emotion in response, but it seemed there was nothing left.
Something definitely changed. But it wasn’t what I expected.
The next time I went to his “office” (as he called the most cluttered section of his apartment), I knew something strange was happening immediately. Taylor came to open the door, then backed away, fidgeting with a piece of paper and looking generally nervous. I followed him to his office, neither of us saying a word, and sat down in the usual chair. He sat at his desk and cleared his throat.
“Well, Kierin…”
“What’s that?” I nodded to the paper he held.
“It’s… a letter, from MAGI.”
“Ah.” I waited for him to explain, but he still seemed reluctant. Obviously I wasn’t going to like the contents. “Just tell me, please.”
“They seem to think that whatever you’ve got is more dangerous than it is. They’re taking action.”
“Great. More check-ins?”
“They’re removing you from the school. They want to take you to a secure facility where you’ll be tutored and put through intensive control exercises. They‘ll send someone at 10 tonight to pick you up.”
That was strange. Not so much the words, as the fact that I couldn’t understand them. I had to repeat what he said in my head a few times for it to make sense.
“That can’t be right.” I could feel my limbs stiffening as if preparing for a fight. Tonight, even.
“…I’m sorry. It leaves no room for argument.”
“They can’t, though. I didn’t…”
“Your parents already given their consent. You… don’t really have a choice.”
Of course. Of course they did. I asked him if he had anything else for me. No, not tonight… or ever again. It was unlikely I’d see him anymore. I nodded and left. Outside I shifted to energy form and rushed towards Talos. It was only just after 7 PM. I could still get some training in. Then I would go back to the dorm. To pack.
When I reached Ithaca, I felt the power undulate through me as its voice whispered in my mind. This is disgusting. Take it back.
Before I could wonder what it meant, a wave of grief hit me like a hurricane, completely pushing out all other thoughts. It felt as if a horrible, debilitating fire was spreading through my body. I collapsed to my knees, crying harder than I ever had in my life.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
My eyes were dry by the time I had returned to my dorm. When I had finished packing, even the dull ache of sorrow was gone. I couldn’t think of anything to better assure me that I wanted this power. I needed to make it work harder to suppress things like that.
It was almost time for me to leave. Alex and Mirage weren’t there. I considered leaving them a message, but decided it wasn’t necessary. Alex would be furious, of course… but I wasn’t going to have to worry about that anymore.
I glanced down at my bed. On it lay my folded uniform, medical badge, and comm unit. Without really knowing why, I picked up the comm and turned it on, to the public channel. Not knowing what else to say, I muttered, “Bye.” I set it back down without listening for replies.
Out in the parking lot, a black car was waiting with the motor running softly, trunk open. I put my duffel bag in, closed it and got into the back seat.
“Kierin?”
“Yeah.”
She nodded and started to drive off. “…Sorry about this.”
“About what?”
She shot me an odd look in the mirror. Nothing more was said.
Rise from the Ashes - End
Something definitely changed. But it wasn’t what I expected.
The next time I went to his “office” (as he called the most cluttered section of his apartment), I knew something strange was happening immediately. Taylor came to open the door, then backed away, fidgeting with a piece of paper and looking generally nervous. I followed him to his office, neither of us saying a word, and sat down in the usual chair. He sat at his desk and cleared his throat.
“Well, Kierin…”
“What’s that?” I nodded to the paper he held.
“It’s… a letter, from MAGI.”
“Ah.” I waited for him to explain, but he still seemed reluctant. Obviously I wasn’t going to like the contents. “Just tell me, please.”
“They seem to think that whatever you’ve got is more dangerous than it is. They’re taking action.”
“Great. More check-ins?”
“They’re removing you from the school. They want to take you to a secure facility where you’ll be tutored and put through intensive control exercises. They‘ll send someone at 10 tonight to pick you up.”
That was strange. Not so much the words, as the fact that I couldn’t understand them. I had to repeat what he said in my head a few times for it to make sense.
“That can’t be right.” I could feel my limbs stiffening as if preparing for a fight. Tonight, even.
“…I’m sorry. It leaves no room for argument.”
“They can’t, though. I didn’t…”
“Your parents already given their consent. You… don’t really have a choice.”
Of course. Of course they did. I asked him if he had anything else for me. No, not tonight… or ever again. It was unlikely I’d see him anymore. I nodded and left. Outside I shifted to energy form and rushed towards Talos. It was only just after 7 PM. I could still get some training in. Then I would go back to the dorm. To pack.
When I reached Ithaca, I felt the power undulate through me as its voice whispered in my mind. This is disgusting. Take it back.
Before I could wonder what it meant, a wave of grief hit me like a hurricane, completely pushing out all other thoughts. It felt as if a horrible, debilitating fire was spreading through my body. I collapsed to my knees, crying harder than I ever had in my life.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
My eyes were dry by the time I had returned to my dorm. When I had finished packing, even the dull ache of sorrow was gone. I couldn’t think of anything to better assure me that I wanted this power. I needed to make it work harder to suppress things like that.
It was almost time for me to leave. Alex and Mirage weren’t there. I considered leaving them a message, but decided it wasn’t necessary. Alex would be furious, of course… but I wasn’t going to have to worry about that anymore.
I glanced down at my bed. On it lay my folded uniform, medical badge, and comm unit. Without really knowing why, I picked up the comm and turned it on, to the public channel. Not knowing what else to say, I muttered, “Bye.” I set it back down without listening for replies.
Out in the parking lot, a black car was waiting with the motor running softly, trunk open. I put my duffel bag in, closed it and got into the back seat.
“Kierin?”
“Yeah.”
She nodded and started to drive off. “…Sorry about this.”
“About what?”
She shot me an odd look in the mirror. Nothing more was said.
Rise from the Ashes - End