Dear Diar,
I am invisible and she is shrouded in lies. "Do not speak of Ybur Academy, Yulia." I have been asked to make a promise that the truth about our past in Ybur and the involvement of The Carnival of Shadows should forever be kept silent. Anything for her.
The holidays were pleasant, but I miss Tati("papa") and Mamka("mom") so much. I got 'pad (Moth's petname for November, "Pad" literally means "fall/to fall", "Listopad" means November in Czech)a gown for the dance and I asked her if she'd accompany me, at first she refused the dress and claimed she wasn't sure. I insisted she accept the dress regardless. She got me a barrette with a porcelain yellow rose centered on silver casting, it is quite lovely. But don't yellow roses symbolize friendship? How bitter sweet..."
Moth was on her bunk. Lying on her belly, lean legs bent and crossed behind her. She was propped up on her elbows, scribbling away in a leather booklet, her journal. The radio softly played behind her,
There's a part of me you'll never know
The only thing I'll never show
Hopelessly I'll love you endlessly
Hopelessly I'll give you everything
But I won't give you up
I won't let you down
And I won't leave you falling
If the moment ever comes
It's plain to see it's trying to speak
Cherished dreams forever asleep
Hopelessly I'll love you endlessly
Hopelessly I'll give you everything
But I won't give you up
I won't let you down
And I won't leave you falling
If the moment ever comes
Hopelessly I'll love you endlessly
Hopelessly I'll give you everything
But I won't give you up
I won't let you down
And I won't leave you falling
But the moment never comes
The haunting lyrics forced a stuttering sigh out of her. She canted her head forward. Blonde bangs cascaded over stormy blue oculars, forming a dark shadow across her brow.
"...I wonder what will become of us. Every time I see her I crave her more. I crave for her hand to reach for mine. I crave for her dewy lips to crash into mi--.."
Moth frowned and scribbled that last fragment out.
"...At the moment I only have my dreams. My wonderful dreams. And of course our friendship. If 'pad were mine, we'd be unstoppable! I'd try my hardest to never see her cry like she did that night. Seems like eons ago that I have last seen her shed a tear. She is too hard. What is she hiding from?
The other day she made a crude comment regarding fellow classmate Hedgehog. It hurt.
A lot.
Well, that is all for tonight, Diar. Good night.
- Yulia
ps: Never read Story of the Eye outloud again!"
She shifted and pulled out a couple of photos from underneath her mattress. One of November and one of herself, they were both badly burnt. She taped them to her latest entry and as she pulled away she glid a gentle finger across November's image. And with that she clamped the book shut. She sat up and wiped at her nose with the back of her hand.
She breathed deeply, "Trpelivost, Yulia, trpelivost."
