Saint Joseph School

Casey sat on the edge of a roof, legs dangling over a two-storey drop, watching the moat that surrounded the Ziggurat. It was huge, imposing, and even from where he sat he could hear the sounds of an alarm signifying some kind of disturbance inside. He stayed put, knowing if there was a call, probably a good dozen heroes would answer it, and until then, the guards probably had plenty of practice handling this kind of thing.

His thoughts drifted. Despite a city filled with people, many of them hardworking, honest and genuinely good… despite the number of heroes out there trying to help, for whatever reason, and despite going to a school filled with people who he had a lot in common with, he felt alone. “Idiot” he muttered. “You know better than that.” And he did. He had friends. Some of them were people he trusted, some he just hung out with. He still had his family. He was way less alone than he was when he was a kid, but he couldn’t shake the feeling.

A flash of orange caught his attention, pulled him back to his surroundings. A group of prisoners had busted open a sewer grate and were piling out, crossing the moat toward him. There was a yell from the tower, a guard whose retinue had already disappeared for reinforcements calling for backup. From the way he slammed the walkie talkie back into place on his belt, it was obvious he wouldn’t be getting help fast.

Casey felt a pang in his stomach as he stood and readied himself, wondering if he was getting himself in way over his head. The realization that he probably was did nothing to assuage the potential guilt he’d feel if the guard got hurt or worse.

The guard burst out the lower door of the tower just as the prisoners reached the far end of the moat. They rushed, and the guard went for his gun. Casey winced, hoping he wasn’t about to get shot, drew a sigil in the air, and vanished.

He reappeared in the middle of the group of prisoners, and swept the feet of the forerunners out from under them. A shot rang out, and Casey herd the bullet whip past overhead. He wondered idly as he whirled toward the stragglers whether he had just made a mistake, but those doubts were overborne as he saw the true size of the stragglers. They were not small men.

The fight didn’t last long. The prisoners were down, and the guard tagged them, whereupon they were teleported back into the confines of the prison.

“Nice work, kid.” The guard looked nervous yet, but he gave a reassuring smile, which abruptly faded.

Casey nodded. “No problem, sir. Um… just trying to help out, you know? Uh… is something wrong?”

The guard’s eyes narrowed, and he looked Casey over again. “Got a security license, kid?” Casey nodded and showed it to him. “Huh. Sorry, kid, just looked familiar, is all. Not in the good way. But you’re clear far as I can see, and thanks again for the hand.”

“Uh… no problem. Gotta give a hand where you can, right?”

The guard nodded. “Nice to hear, kid. Lot of people just don’t give a damn. Once they make a collar, they’re off to the next glory, cape flapping in the breeze behind ‘em. You know the kind.” Casey nodded, more to placate the guard than anything. “I tell you, kid, back in the day there were real heroes around. Don’t grow up like those guys. Take responsibility. And remember just because you nab a guy doesn’t mean he won’t be out again tomorrow. We try to keep ‘em in, but you know what happens. If it’s not crap like this it’s someone breaking in to get a buddy out. And we only have so much here. Can’t stop ‘em all.” Casey nodded again. “Crapola, and some of these guys… can’t trust ‘em, kid. Firebrands are the worst. Never know what’s gonna happen, and they blow up more of the city than they save! And those are the ones we know what they’re up to. Some of ‘em… spooky, kid. Don’t know what kind of demon they’ve worked with, but if it’s not hellfire it’s living shadow or summoned demons of their own. Can’t trust any of it, kid. Don’t know why we let ‘em run rampant. Should be locked in here with the rest.” Casey felt a pit in his stomach, but nodded. “Sorry, kid, didn’t mean to talk your ear off. You did good. Now get on with you. Not safe around here. But feel free to come back anytime if you see we need a hand. You seem like a good kid.”

“Uh… thanks, sir.” Casey offered an undisciplined salute, drew a mark in the air, and vanished.

He reappeared in the alley next to his rooftop and sighed, the feeling in his stomach lingering. Leaning his head against the brick wall of the building, he took several deep breaths to calm himself.

“What the hell was that about?!” Casey started, then looked over.

Cassie looked to many people, especially when they had gone to school together, like a female version of Casey. They were closer in appearance than fraternal twins usually get, but her softer features made at least some of the boys think she was pretty. “Uh… hey, Cassie. What’s up?” He winced. She looked pissed.

“That hick in there. Talked shit about us. Us specifically. After you helped him out. And what, you just stand there and take it?” She walked to within a foot of him. “What’s up with that?”

Casey shrugged nervously, making a conscious effort not to back away. “Maybe… he’s right. I don’t blame him for not trusting the crap we can do.”

She poked him in the chest. “Yeah? You think everything we do is so wrong? You think it doesn’t mean anything that we try to help people, because that’s what we have to help people with?”

Casey shook his head, holding his arms up. “That’s not what I meant. I just mean… it feels wrong. And maybe it is, that’s all. I don’t like it. I don’t like feeling… that way.” Her face softened a touch, and he continued. “It’s like… dying inside a little, every time I do it. And yeah… not feeling pain is nice, but maybe I should be, you know? And… maybe I shouldn’t be doing that crap I do to people. What if it really hurts them, in ways I don’t understand? I mean… do you get it? Do you really know what we do? Because I don’t.”

She sighed. “We… kinda mess with life force. Giving it, and taking it away from… people. Including ourselves. And… we can throw… shadows at people, that drain their energy away. And yes, I can see where some people think those things are bad. But you know better than that. Our power doesn’t kill people.”

Casey started to say something, but then stopped. “Wait. How did you know I was here?”

Cassie half-smiled, then paused. “I… followed you. Kev fixed your beacon, right, the one time? He… said he could use it to keep tabs on you, so… I asked him to tell me where you were, and to give me a call if you moved.”

Casey grunted. “So… why were you following me?”

“Because… we’re worried about you. You’ve been blowing things off a lot lately. You stopped going for runs in the morning for a couple weeks, and then you were sneaking out at all hours because you couldn’t stay asleep… and you’ve been blowing off your friends. A lot. Dance party tonight, isn’t there?”

Casey nodded. “Yeah, and it’s not really my scene.”

“And the pool party last night that you came home from? That you didn’t bring your suit to?”

“I… didn’t feel like swimming.”

“Bullshit, Casey. You used to love to swim. I don’t think that’s changed.”

“Fine. I didn’t want to take my armor off.”

Cassie shook her head. “You don’t have to be afraid of every goddamn person, Casey. They aren’t out to get you. They aren’t going to do something as soon as you turn your back. You really need to get over it.”

Casey shrugged slightly. “Most of them probably won’t. Only takes one, though.”

“Whatever. You treat your girlfriend like that too?”

Casey blanched. “…No. But that’s different.”

“Yeah, totally different, I bet. From what you said, she could do something, and you trust her more than you trust the other kids you talk about? For god’s sake, Casey…”

He shook his head. “Look, I just… I’m working on it, okay?”

She looked at him. “Working on what?”

“Everything. Figuring stuff out, trying to deal with people…”

“Trying to not deal with your power. Trying to pretend it doesn’t exist. Trying to pretend it’s something horrible.” Casey opened his mouth to say something, then stopped. Cassie stared at him.

Casey swallowed. “It is horrible. I hate it. And I wish I didn’t have it.” He flinched as he saw her face cloud over.

She punched him. He hadn’t expected that. He doubled over, the breath knocked out of him, and made a silent resolution to remember that spot next time he was out on patrol. “Casey… you… need to stop talking like that. No wonder Nathan’s still got nightmares about it, and his power hasn’t come out yet. He probably represses it more than you do.” Casey looked up, saw hurt in her eyes, a thin shroud of darkness around her, and suddenly wished he’d kept his damn mouth shut. He looked back down, and saw black steam rising from his body. He sighed.

“Okay, you two, stop it.”

Casey looked up again, but it was Cassie who spoke. “Kevin, what the hell are you doing here?”

Kevin didn’t look as much like either of them. He had their father’s sharper features, lack of glasses, and more wiry frame. Today he wore an amused smile. “I got bored, decided Casey didn’t look like he was leaving for awhile, and figured you two would get into a fight.”

Casey chuckled, managing at last to get some air in. “You called it, bro.”

Kevin nodded. “She’s right, though. About one part of it. Nathan really doesn’t need to be more afraid of what he can do.” He crossed his arms. “We were too soft on you two. You’ve never had to fight for your lives in a situation you didn’t pick. If you had, maybe you’d understand a little better what it means. Nothing to be done about it now, I guess.” He shrugged, his smile unwavering. “That was the only part, though. There’s a lot we can do that violates a lot of norms around here. That wasn’t the way of it back home. Case, if you tried you could probably actually damage someone’s soul in a way it would never recover.” Casey shrank back a bit at the very idea. “And that’s alright.”

Casey blinked, then looked at Cassie, who looked as horrified at the idea as Casey felt. “Uh… sorry, bro, that’s totally not alright.”

Kevin nodded. “You’re half right. Doing it isn’t. Being able to do it doesn’t matter. It’s like having a sword. Stabbing someone with it is a nasty thing to do. But being good at stabbing someone just means you’ve got a skill. Same goes for the power, Casey. Use it the way you want to use it, but don’t think it’s any worse than any other weapon, unless you choose to use it that way. You could kill a man with your bare hands if you were of a mind. Only difference I see is how it looks, and how much worse you could do if you were that kind of person. Which you aren’t.”

Casey blinked a few times, then looked at Cassie, who seemed equally lost. “Wait… so…” he paused, shaking his head.

“All I’m saying, Casey, is that hiding from what you could do has messed you up bad. I love you both, but I wish we’d been harder on you, so you could learn what you needed to learn about what you’re really doing. Mom and dad figured it wouldn’t be as necessary when we came here, but I hear you’re both thinking about being heroes someday. You can’t be afraid to use your gifts to protect yourself and others, because the people you’re trying to stop aren’t going to have those constraints.” Casey attempted to butt in, but Kevin held up a hand. “I’m not saying you should stoop to their level. I’m saying you should decide what your limits are for what you’re willing to do to a person, and master everything up to that point, and no farther.”

Casey took a deep breath, rubbing his gut absently. “So… can you show me how to do it?”

Kevin laughed. “Not a chance. You’ve already defined your power, limited it to something you use to protect yourself. I’ve never been that deluded. Mine is a weapon. Always has been, always will be. And that’s not what you want.”

Casey shook his head. “Maybe… I do. I mean… it seems to want release. And… a friend of mine said maybe I should try to let it out, try to throw it at… something meaningless, like a rock or like a glass bottle or something.”

Kevin shook his head. “Try it. On your own. Let it out, let it sap the life out of some patch of ground somewhere, disintegrate a rock, and then come talk to me. If I show you how, you might wind up blaming me for forcing you into it. So do it because it’s what you want, and if you decide you’re willing to learn how to improve on it… then come talk to me, and we’ll figure something out.”

Casey nodded. Cassie looked doubtful.

“And in the mean time, stop bickering about it. Neither of you know how good you’ve got it. Cassie, Casey’s every bit as afraid as you were when you hospitalized that girl. Casey, Cassie’s been through it too, and she eventually realized what we have is a weapon, no matter what we try to pressure it into doing for us in its off hours. Clear?” he looked at them both, and seemed satisfied. “Good. Be home for breakfast tomorrow. I’m cooking.” With that, he turned and walked out of the alley.

Casey sighed, a motion mirrored by his sister. They looked at each other, and shared a slight smile. Cassie muttered “He pisses me off so much sometimes.”

Casey chuckled. “Like when he’s right?”

She nodded. “I’m going home. See you tomorrow, Casey.”

Casey hugged her, pretending to wince when she pulled him close. She let go, an instant’s fear coming over her face. She saw him failing to hide a grin, and smacked his shoulder gently.

“I’m gonna go chill with people. Night, Cassie.” She waved, covered herself in shadow, and was gone. Casey sighed, drew a rune in the air in the direction of campus, and vanished.

Thursday, July 1.

Casey woke up feeling oddly refreshed. The dreams hadn’t been as bad last night. He’d only gotten about six hours, but he still felt great. He snapped up out of bed, going about his morning routine with more vigor than he’d felt… ever, that he remembered.

Everything felt easy. As he jogged down to the Row, he breathed easily, and even during the run through the stacks, he wasn’t getting tired. Jumps he used to think twice about trying he made by inches more than usual. Rolls that used to take precise motion came naturally.

He split off early, citing a doctor’s appointment, then zipped off toward campus, porting himself to run along walls for a few steps here and there before porting again. If not for the reason he was taking off early, he’d wonder if something was either very wrong, or very right. But he knew. Something was very wrong.

Conrads was waiting for him, mug of coffee in hand, when Casey got there. He realized as Conrads asked him to take a seat that he hadn’t even broken a sweat yet. “Sorry I’m late, doc.”

“Casey, you’re five minutes early. So what’s all this about? You said Vesper told you to call me, but it certainly didn’t sound like an emergency over the phone.”

Casey shrugged his shoulders dismissively. “It wasn’t a big deal. I was messing with spells, and thought I had a way to put my powers under better control, so I tried it. It made this weird aura, and I couldn’t really do most of my stuff. But it wore off, and I feel… great.”

Conrads nodded. “And yet, you’re still here bright and early.”

“I told her I’d come see you.”

Another nod, and the man took a sip of coffee. “Then are we done here, or is there something else I should know?”

There it was. Most of the staff was on the ball about things. “I feel… really good. Like… I woke up this morning feeling better than I think I ever have. I dunno if it’s something to do with it or not. Last time I talked to Sister Moltar, I agreed not to use my power, so… I’m not sure if it’s that, or the thing, or… what, but I figured I’d let you know, you know?”

Conrads nodded. “Any negative side effects? Increased appetite, mood swings, anything like that?” Casey shook his head. “Then let’s check in again Monday morning, and if you start feeling odd, give me a call right away. You still have my number?” Casey nodded. “Alright. Then I think we’re done for now. Thank you for coming to me, Casey.”

Casey nodded and excused himself.

The next few hours passed quickly at first, but as it wore on, every second seemed to tick by more slowly. Lunch helped. Even gave him the rush back. But by the end of the school day, it was dragging again. He stopped by Conrad’s office.

“Come on in, Casey.” Casey paused, then sighed and opened the door. Conrads was sitting there, coffee mug in hand. “Take a seat, then tell me about it.”

Casey nodded, closed the door quietly, then took a seat. “So… I’m tired. I was good, and then I got tired, and then I felt great again, and now I’m tired again. I dunno what’s going on.”

Conrads offered a gentle smile. “It seems most likely to me that this is because of your power, not because of the incident, but it could be both. Most people who have a power that affects their own energy levels have to be very careful with it. Some burn themselves out, some push themselves past reasonable limits and need hospitalization. In your case, it seems like your body has gotten used to adjusting itself with your power, and now that you’re trying to suppress it, your body doesn’t know what to do.”

Casey blinked. “That… seems… really straightforward. And makes total sense.”

Conrads took a sip of coffee. “If you start feeling significant discomfort, stop trying to keep your power suppressed, and see if that evens things out. If it doesn’t, give me a call and we’ll see what we can find out, hmm?”

Casey nodded. “Alright. Thanks.” Conrads nodded, and Casey stood and left.

Huh. So… my power might be why I’m so afraid all the time… which is bad. But fear keeps me on edge… which is good. And maybe I can’t really function without my power anyway. If I keep having these spikes of energy and lethargy all day, that’s gonna get old fast. But the dreams are better. And I feel happier. Or at least I have the past few days. I know Arlina’s part of that, but we were together before last Tuesday, and it just seems better since I stopped using the power.

But… a few months ago I realized how much not using my power was messing with me. It was making me miserable, like a pressure in the back of my head trying to force its way out. So what’s different this time? There’s no pressure, no urge to just let it out. Did the work they put me through to accept my power really work, or is this something else?

If it isn’t something new, do I really want to keep using my power, if the alternative is feeling this good? My body might get used to regulating itself again, and then… life would just be better. Is that why dad never uses his power anymore? Why mom doesn’t use it unless she’s protecting people? It seems like I have mine on all the time. It just kinda goes, does what it has to do to keep me safe, and then backs off. It didn’t used to do that.

But… I want to use my power, don’t I? I want to be a hero someday, and protect people, make a difference. He thought of arguments he’d had lately about what heroes were and what it meant to be one. Then he thought of Joao, who hated heroes without knowing anything about what it really meant to be one. Anger boiled up, a surprising amount of it. Casey stood there for a moment, quivering with rage, and then fear started to settle in. This is not right. Something is seriously wrong with this. I don’t get mad like that.

He stopped to think. Glancing around, he realized he was out on the walk leading to the street. He couldn’t remember going through the halls to get there. Another twinge of fear. I wasn’t even paying attention. What if something had happened? What if somebody had tried something? I wouldn’t have even noticed until it was too late.

Casey found a bench and sat. What if this heightened emotion crap is the way I’m supposed to feel all the time, and I’m just not used to it? What if it isn’t, and it’s the way my body responded to the fact that my power’s on all the time, giving me too much of stuff so I can feel what I’m supposed to feel, but now I’m messing it all up?

Just four more days, after today. I gotta know. I need a better idea of what’s going on. Sister Moltar knows what she’s doing. Probably tons of kids have gone through crap like this, been unhappy for a few days, and it’s told her something she can use to make everything okay.

He slapped his hands against his cheeks a few times to startle himself into wakefulness, then looked toward home. “Time to get home, do the crap I know I can do, and maybe talk to Kev about this. One step at a time.” He traced a few runes in the air and took the first step toward getting home.

Tuesday, July 7

“I don’t think I’ve felt this terrible… ever.” Casey lurched into the apartment, sweating but feeling cold. His brother Kevin hopped up and was next to him in seconds, slipping an arm around his lower back for support.

“Easy, Case. What’d you do to yourself?”

“Dunno, man. I just don’t… feel so good, you know?” Casey was led to the couch, where he collapsed, unable to muster the will to even adjust himself to be more comfortable. “Just kinda… came on. Nobody did anything I saw.” He sneezed. He’d been doing that a lot today. Must have been sawdust in the nose from all the wood slivers. He still didn’t know what he’d screwed up, but at least nobody’s dragged him into an office to be yelled at yet.

“Casey, you really don’t look so good. Maybe you should crash out for awhile, let the body get some rest. You’ve been pushing yourself pretty hard the last few days.”

Casey nodded. “Good call, bro. Uh… here okay?”

Kevin chuckled. “Let’s get you to bed, Case. You been sleeping alright?”

“Yeah… real good, actually. Barely any dreams, or anything.” He let his older brother pull him up, his legs a bit wobbly, but he straightened and managed to walk, then after a moment tried to wave his brother off, using the wall for support. “I’m good, bro, I’m good. Just… really weirdly tired.” He coughed once, then again, then he was bent over, trying for all he could tell to spill his lungs out on the carpet. He saw spots in front of his eyes, and clamped his eyes shut as the coughing fit continued. His brother was holding him up entirely now.

“Case, you look like hell.” As the coughing subsided, Kevin helped him back upright. “You really been okay? Doesn’t look it.” Casey went to answer, then promptly threw up on the carpet. “Yeah. You’re not okay. Let’s get you to the bathroom. Probably some bad food or something.” Kevin half-carried him to the bathroom, exhibiting a strength that belied his frame, and helped Casey lean over the bathtub. “You know, Casey, you really gotta be more careful about those catholics and their food. Or maybe your classmates. Somebody slipped you something, for sure.”

Casey lay curled over the bathtub heaving for several minutes before he answered. “Yeah. I think… you’re right.” His body chose that moment for another coughing fit. “But… I bet I got it out.”

Kevin nodded. If he was at all disgusted by the display, he didn’t show it. “Yeah, along with a few organs you might need later. Let’s get you to bed. You’re not better by morning, we’re getting you to the doctor.”

Casey didn’t even bother trying to argue. If someone had laced his food with something, which seemed like the only explanation, it wouldn’t be something that’d last overnight. He was led back to his room and dumped unceremoniously into bed. “Oof.” Covers were carefully yanked out from under and wrapped over him, with a few blankets thrown on for good measure. “Thanks, bro.”

“Night, Casey.” The lights went out, and the door closed. Consciousness disappeared startlingly fast.

* * * * *

Morning wasn’t any better. Casey woke up freezing, covered in blankets, to the sound of his own coughing. Cassie was standing by the edge of the bed. “You have a fever,” she said quietly. “You’re sick.”

“Huh?” Fever? Sick? Not likely. He hadn’t been sick in his life, not once. “No way.” Further disparagement of her theory was sidetracked by another coughing fit.

“Well, you have a fever of a hundred and four, you’ve been coughing all night, which I know because it kept me up, and you can’t breathe through your nose, which is why your voice sounds weird. So… if you have a different explanation, I’m happy to listen.”

Casey shook his head. No way he could’ve gotten sick. The only epidemic going around campus was pink-eye, and he hadn’t caught that, for sure. “Uh… no, but…”

Cassie sat at the edge of the bed. “You’re sick. But the rest of us feel fine.” She looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to get something, but he looked back blankly. “I’m going to go get you some water. You’re going to drink it. And then you’re going back to bed, and I’m going to school.” Casey nodded. His throat hurt. His whole body hurt, come to think of it. And she was right. He couldn’t breathe through his nose.

She came back with water. He drank it. Swallowing hurt. The water was cold. He was incredibly thirsty, and didn’t know why. But he finished the glass. “Thanks.” It was almost a croak, even to his own ears.

“You’re welcome. Night, Casey.”

Today was Tuesday. He could use his powers again. He was supposed to see Moltar about it first, but he didn’t want to wait. He hurt, and that was something he could do something about. He focused for a brief moment, then a longer moment as his magic slowly stirred itself. It had almost gone dormant over the past week, which he was simultaneously worried about and thankful for. Then the pain started to diminish. He sighed, relaxed back into his pillow, and drifted off, wisps of black steam slowly pouring from his skin and covering him.

* * * * *

Casey woke again sometime in the early afternoon. He felt worlds better. He took a slow breath. His throat still felt like it was torn up a bit, but his sinuses were clear, and feeling his forehead, he wasn’t burning up anymore. He’d kicked off most of the blankets while he slept, but he didn’t feel cold, either.

He sat up and grabbed around until he found his glasses, half-buried under a pillow. He put them on, looked at his alarm clock, and bolted upright. “Crap, I am so gonna get it.”

“No you’re not. We called you in.” Kev’s voice echoed in from the living room.

Oh. “Cool. Alright. I’m gonna get something to eat then. I’m seriously starved.” He walked out of his room, only then noticing the wisps clinging to him. “Did I leave this on all morning?”

“Yup.” Huh. Kev didn’t even need to look over. He must’ve checked in a few times. Casey started to say something. “Yes, I was in every half hour. Checked your temperature, made sure your lungs weren’t too full of gunk. You’ve been getting noticeably better all morning.”

Casey coughed a bit. “Um… thanks.”

Kevin shook his head. “No need. We take care of our people, Casey. I don’t know what you put yourself through, but you’re fighting it off fine. Go get some lunch. There’s muffins and soup on the stove.”

He ate. Eating felt good. Chicken soup, blueberry muffins. Someone must have made a trip out to get this stuff, because we never had enough to bake anything unless I pick it up, and I haven’t done that in weeks. It all tasted amazing. Once he’d emptied a bowl of soup and half the tray of muffins, he sat down on the couch next to his brother, who was taking apart a robotic arm.

“Thanks, bro.” Kevin nodded. “Like… really. I dunno what happened.” Another nod. The time for pointless sympathy was past. Casey was feeling better. “But I really appreciate it.” Another nod, and a slight smile.

“You’re welcome.” He went back to work.

“I gotta get going. Got a meeting with Moltar after school.”

Kevin eyed him. “You feeling up to that?” Casey shrugged. “Then skip it. She’s a nun, she’ll forgive you.”

“Yeah, I know… tell you what, if I start feeling worse, I’ll come back. I’m already mostly good.” Casey sneezed, and Kevin looked over at him, raising a brow. “I am. Just… a little sick, is all. I guess.”

“Alright. You keep your word. Start feeling worse, you come home, now. Checked up a bit on how people recover from this kind of thing, and it’s not by running around pretending you’re better when you’re not.”

Casey nodded. “Promise. I won’t be out too long. Back for dinner. And if I’m up for it, maybe I’ll go chill with people or something, but only as long as I’m feeling alright.”

“Alright. Later, Casey.”

* * * * *

“What are you doing here? You’re home sick.” Sister Moltar offered him one of her finest looks of disapproval. Casey blanched.

“Er… we had a meeting, and… I’m really feeling a lot better, so… I figured I’d stop by?”

“Time to load up on more detention already?” Her disapproval could, Casey was certain, end wars. He tried a half-hearted chuckle, but his throat wouldn’t allow it. He managed a cough instead. “We should talk about something other than how you’ve gotten yourself into even more trouble. Have a seat.” Casey sat. “You’ve spent the last week not using your powers. How did it go?”

Casey thought about the question seriously. “Bad. Like… real bad. I had… a lot of problems getting used to it. Like… my energy levels were way high, and then way low, and I couldn’t really figure out what was going on. And my mood kinda went crazy too sometimes, like… things were getting to me more than they should. Plus I got sick, but that could totally be a coincidence. And when I was on patrol, I kinda got roughed up ba-” Moltar cut him off.

“You went patrolling without your powers?” Her stern stare promised him that no answer would make things any better, so he offered a grimace and a shrug, followed by a sneeze. “God bless you.”

“H-hey, it was alright, people had my back. I didn’t go out alone or anything.”

Sister Moltar sighed the sigh of someone who had been dealing with situations like this for far too long. “At least there’s that. And I suppose I didn’t explicitly say you weren’t to go out on patrol, though common sense certainly would have.” Casey sucked in air through his teeth, holding his grimace, trying to hold off a sneeze. It didn’t work. “God bless you. But you have enough to worry about already. Tell me more about how you felt. Sensations, in particular, and these mood swings.”

Casey told her almost everything. The fight with Vesper and Arlina, the fight later with Joao, and subsequent storming off. The way his dreams had calmed down, even times when he’d felt great or terrible, as best as he could remember. She could tell he was leaving something out. He knew it, and flushed a bit. She didn’t push him, a fact for which he found himself surprisingly grateful.

She considered him when he finished, then spoke quietly. “It seems clear to me that the reason you got sick, and the reason you had all of these mood swings, is because your power keeps your body in balance. Conrads indicated as much when we spoke yesterday afternoon. Not everyone with the sort of abilities you have has this happen, but it does happen often enough to be a pattern.” She paused. “Go back to using your powers as normal, Casey. You might find them easier to control, now that you’ve gone without for awhile. But it seems likely that this is why you got sick, as well, so you’ll probably do much better if you keep them active, protecting you.”

Casey nodded. He was slightly disappointed, but he’d been coming to the same conclusion. “Alright. Um… anything else, Sister Moltar?”

“Not today, Casey. We’ll be in touch with you regarding your punishment for this latest incident.”

Casey winced, but nods. “Uh… see you next week, then?” Moltar nodded. He stood and went to leave.

“Glad you’re feeling better, Casey.” He turned, but there was only the stare of disapproval. Had he imagined it? Including the softening of the ever-present edge in her voice? His contemplations were interrupted by a sneeze. “God bless you.”

“Uh… thanks.” He left, closing the door behind him, and started the walk home.

I thought today was going to be a boring day. Got up, did the running thing, did the summer school thing, stayed out later than I thought doing the hero thing. Not late enough.

“It’s hard to explain, son. Maybe it’s impossible to explain. But we have to go.” Hard to explain doesn’t even begin to cover it. I thought we wanted to stay gone. They kept saying we should never go back. What’s so different?

“This is something we’ve been thinking about since we got here, but we wanted to at least wait until Kevin was old enough to take care of you three, and since Nathan’s doing so much better, it just… seemed like it was time.” No freaking way I would ever go back there to go through that again. I know Cassie and Kevin and Nathan all feel the same way. What’s so different all the sudden?

“Case… it’ll be fine. We filled out the paperwork. I’ll take care of you guys. Don’t worry about it. Everything’s going to be fine.” Why the hell wasn’t Kevin arguing about this? He was obviously at least as unhappy about the idea as I am. After they were gone, he just shut down, didn’t answer any questions, nothing.

“We have a bit of money saved up. Enough to keep things going until you’re all done with school. Maybe even help put you through college.” Like that’s the important part. Is this seriously happening? What the hell is going on?

“We’ll be fine, son. But please, whatever else happens, don’t come looking for us. We need to know our children are safe.” It would be nice to know that about my freaking parents, too, but apparently that’s gone to hell, hasn’t it?

“When we’re done over there, we’ll be back. Promise.” I know what that means. I grew up being told that this isn’t a fight that can be won, but a fight that’s necessary. About doing the right thing, about not being afraid to die, about making a difference. It means not coming back, ever.

“Well miss you.” They said it on the way out. Love they talked about every minute or two, but that was the only time they said that.

I went back to my room. Cassie was up. She looked like she was sleeping, but she was upset. There was this haze over the entire place. I couldn’t even bring myself to go into Nathan’s room. I wouldn’t be able to say anything. Usually I’d be all “It’s cool, everything’s gonna be fine” but today that would be a load of crap. I needed to go somewhere. I opened the patio door, went out on the balcony, hopped to the fire escape, and went up to the roof.

I could’ve ported, maybe. I wasn’t really in a state to do a whole lot, and on some level I knew it. Probably because my hands were shaking, or maybe because I felt like I was going to cry. Maybe scream. Maybe both. I kept it in.

Being on the roof didn’t help. I heard cars moving past, the occasional rattle of distant gunfire. It was at odds enough with the relatively tranquil sky overhead that I decided I wasn’t going to get any clear answers there.

On my way back down I heard a couple of neighbors on their way up. From the way they were arguing, I could tell who it was. I paused on the landing a floor above mine to meet them.

Patricia Mays goes by the name Pain Train. She’s a blocky woman who looks fat until you see her in her outfit. Some women just should not wear spandex. She’s probably still one of them, but she’s muscley as hell and could probably throw a pickup if it cut her off. I saw her get into it with gangers just once, week after they moved in. She left something in her car, and came back to find a couple of guys trying to steal her tires. She wrapped their tools around them before slapping them with tags, and let one go so word would get around. Theirs is probably the only car on the block that doesn’t get broken into in a week. I could hear her husband behind her, but couldn’t see him. That wasn’t unusual, since he was at most a third her weight and half a foot shorter.

“Caseyboy, what you doin’ up so late?” Patricia smiled a huge smile, but then frowned when she looked closer. “Boy, you look beat. What’s wrong?” I babysat her kids once. After that she got my sister to do it, but that doesn’t change the fact that she basically considers us both like her own children in a lot of ways. Unfortunately this means she could tell how upset I was.

I thought for a minute, then decided there was no point in not telling her everything. My folks left. They went back home. Kevin’s the guardian. I am really… freaking… confused.” My voice broke, and I leaned against the rail. It hadn’t really hit at the time. Now it did. I was probably never going to see them again.

“Aw, Casey honey, don’t you worry, you ever need something, you just stop on by, we take care of our own, you know how it is.” I knew they’d been told. My folks mentioned that too. And that was how it was. We never asked for much, but these two were always there when we did. Went both ways, really. There was a stretch there where they were locking their keys in the car every couple nights. It was good practice figuring out how to jump stuff around.

I wasn’t sure what to say. I nodded, which was about the best I had. I felt her hand on my shoulder, felt the care that went into handling ordinary people without causing harm. She was watching me, trying to decide if I needed someone there or not. I didn’t even know, I wasn’t thinking about that. I don’t know if I was thinking about anything. She kept moving up the fire escape.

Her husband followed behind, but he paused too. Reginald Mays was a scrawny man about five and a half feet tall, counting his hair, which stuck out a good five inches in every direction. He went by Flashback. He talked about his costume once, but it still doesn’t make sense to me. “Boy, you know, sometimes a hero has got to do what they gotta, and damn the consequences. I know it’s rough, but nobody parents act like that after what y’all been through without call. You know all them stories about… sacrifice and all of that, I don’t need to go over it. But you know. Whatever they doin’ is somethin’ you can be proud of.”

I was more than a little caught off guard. I’d heard Patricia be serious a few times. The first was when she got home and found out I’d been teaching her kids magic tricks. She was seriously not happy. Reggie was never serious about anything. He said he was serious about his groove, whatever that meant, but I’m pretty sure that was a joke too. He never talked about being a hero, though.

The worst part was, he made a good point. They probably did have a really good reason to go back. I probably should be proud of whatever they were going back there to do. But I wasn’t feeling proud. I was feeling selfish. I wanted my goddamn parents back.

I felt a clap on the shoulder. Reggie moved on up.

I sat there for what must’ve been a good ten minutes, just trying to think. Then I realized if those two had come up the fire escape, they’d locked their keys somewhere. Sure enough, there they were, fiddling with the patio door, trying to get the bar they’d stuck there to keep it shut out of the way. “Yo, I got it.” I’d calmed down a little. The realization that there was a reason, even if I didn’t know what it was, did more than I expected it to.

They stopped their whispered argument and looked over, then stood aside. Patricia gave me a motherly smile. It hurt, but it felt good at the same time. It meant not being alone.

It’s almost reflex at this point. I drew a pair of runes in the air, one for where and what it was, one for where I needed it to be, and suddenly I was holding a slightly rusty metal pipe. I handed it to Patricia as Reggie opened the patio door for her.

She kissed me on the cheek, squeezed my shoulder again, and went in without a word. Reggie gave me a nod of thanks and closed the patio door. I nodded back, then made my way back down to the floor above mine.

I realized I didn’t have a good reason not to go back in other than being afraid of what someone might say, so I kept going and went back into the living room, closing the door behind me and slipping our bar into place.

I drew the curtains closed. Kevin was still up. No surprise. He looked up at me, nodded once, then went back to typing. The monitor on the table cast a bizarre blue-green glow on his face. In the light, he almost looked guilt-ridden. I knew better, though. This wasn’t his fault. I was just trying to put something on someone, find someone to blame.

I walked past in silence, got a glass of water, then got ready for bed. It was a routine. Routines felt good right then. I paused on my way back to my room. The apartment didn’t feel like fear. I could clearly pick out Cassie and Nathan, who were still awake.

They were both using our power, and they were both afraid. In the years we’ve lived in this apartment, and even before that, I could never once tell when someone else was doing something. The whole place always just felt like fear. I was afraid. They were afraid. I could see wisps of that steam coming off of my skin. As I walked into my room I could see them coming from Cassie too. I shivered, wondering if they’d noticed it too.

As I got into bed, I couldn’t help but ask. “Cassie. You feel something weird?”

Her voice was quiet, but I could hear her from the other end of the room. “Yeah. It’s gone.”

I knew what she meant, and she knew it. It meant the nightmares we’d been having over the years weren’t because of what we’d been through, or because of the power we had. It wasn’t our fault at all. It was theirs.

Casey slowed to a walk as his apartment building came into sight. It had been a nice day. He got to hang with friends, hung out with a couple people he didn’t know that well, even got let out a little early from detention. He still had no idea what was going on with his family, but he was getting used to the idea that it was going to take time to get everything straight.

Everything looked darker than usual. He glanced around briefly, noting the reason almost immediately. “Huh. That’s weird. Streetlights are out. Some jerk probably shot ‘em out. Whatever. Night, Arlina.”

The reply was soft. “Night, Casey.”

He turned the radio off and made his way toward the familiar broken security door. He was about to reach the stairs when he heard a voice.

“Hey. Casey.” Casey turned. A car had pulled up across the street. The driver was looking at him. The lack of ambient lighting meant he couldn’t make out much clearly. “You messed with the wrong crew.” Casey blinked, looking confused.

The sound of gunshots deafened him for a moment. Then everything went wobbly. The sky rushed across his field of vision. It took him a moment to realize just how much pain he was in. He forced a blink, then tried desperately to call on his magic to dampen that feeling. I knew I should’ve kept the armor, he thought in a very brief moment of clarity as the pain dulled a bit. His vision dimmed a bit as black steam shrouded him, the stars overhead blotted out.

“Yo! He’s still up!” Crap. He traced a rune quickly, fear taking over. If it hadn't been already, now was a time when panic and doing something, anything, was the most likely thing to save his life. He didn’t know exactly where he would end up, but he knew being here was worse than wherever he’d land. Another set of deafening claps. He felt his body shudder as it was hit, and then he felt himself get jerked out of where he was into somewhere else.

Briefly it felt like he was falling. Then he landed, jagged spikes of pain causing involuntary shudders. He’d sent himself off ahead a ways, and off to the side. He thought. He was facedown on a grating of some kind. Probably a fire escape. He hadn't tried to go up, had he?

Pushing himself into even a kneeling position was definitely too much work. Out of the corner of an eye he saw a dull flash of light from his left wrist. The med badge. That wasn’t good. It meant he was hurt bad. He forced himself up a few inches, shifted an arm underneath him, and covered it with a hand. Then he waited, knowing he’d be out of here soon enough, taken someplace safe. Safer, anyway. The nurses were going to be pissed. The alley below came into focus, spun a bit. It was set to pull him after ten seconds. It felt like minutes.

He managed to think for a moment, long enough to realize his mistake. He’d gotten used to the idea that most of the people he met were decent, even on the streets. But he'd let it affect him too much. It was the ones that weren’t he should’ve been worrying about. And he'd stopped doing that. On some level he knew he should've been more careful, should've taken fewer risks. He knew it was a bad neighborhood to live in, and he knew without doing anything to conceal his identity that maybe someday someone would come after him. If he got out of this, he decided, he was going to take some steps to make sure this couldn't happen again.

All of those thoughts flew through his head in a few seconds. Then they were sharply interrupted. There was a sound like screeching tires, then a metallic crunch. For a moment he thought someone was calling his name. Then he felt the teleport kick in, and blacked out.

C'mon, get up. I need to get up. I'm right here, and there are people right there who want me to get up. Seriously, don't be so lazy, get up.

It's a hospital bed. It's not -that- comfortable. If I get up soon, they won't have to force as much hospital food down to get me moving again. Come on, it's been days. I'm really getting sick of laying around like this. Get up!

And now I'm alone again. Way to go. Freaking nurses don't even want to come in here. Can't imagine why. It's not like I can tell who's there when I don't see them, unless it's Kev or Cassie. First time Kev came in I thought he was a ghost, like me.

Still not sure how much of this is a dream. If it's a dream... that's one more reason to be shot less. If it isn't... I really hope I can get back into my body. The life support machines say I'm fine. Or at least nobody's panicking.

Hey, somebody's coming in. Is it that late already? Oh crap, she slipped. There was a sudden sharp clatter, of a tray overturned. Casey felt his magic start to respond. Wait, wait don't do that!

His eyes opened, and he blinked several times, craning his head to look around. He couldn't see whoever it was, but he felt someone there, on the floor. He'd pulled a lot of energy out of her. He felt his wounds itch like crazy as they closed up around the stitches. He also felt lightheaded, giddy, and very much like he'd been told someone would if they were high on something.

There was a phone within arm's reach. He grabbed it, keyed in his brother's number, held it to his ear. He tried to move the rest of him as little as possible, but felt the pull on the stitches, and more than a little pain.

"Hey. What's up, did something happen?" Kevin's voice sounded tired and worried. It was hard to describe how relieved Casey felt at that moment.

"Bro, it's me."

"Casey! How are you? Is everything alright over there?" The tiredness vanished from his voice.

"I'm good, bro. Look, I seriously need to get out of here. I think I just hurt a nurse, like... bad. I'm going to try fixing her up a little, but seriously... I gotta get out of here or it's going to be like... weeks before I'm good to go again."

A chuckle sounded over the phone. "I'll be right there, but no promises."

"Cool. See you soon."

"Oh, no doubt." Kevin hung up.

Casey shifted position a bit. It hurt, but it wasn't terrible. Which, given the circumstances, was probably better than he could've reasonably expected. Sitting up was another jolt of pain. Those stitches are going to have to go. He saw the nurse, sprawled out on the floor. An overturned tray had come to rest next to her, and there was liquid flowing across the floor. His first thought was blood, until he noticed a pitcher of water on its side near the base of the bed.

He checked himself over briefly as he forced his legs over the side, putting him in a sitting position. There was an IV, but it hung, the needle that probably should've been in his arm missing. He looked down at his arm, saw the mouldered tape, and wondered how many of those the hospital had gone through. He pulled a few other pieces of monitoring equipment off that had fared better, then looked at the nurse.

She was alive, but definitely weak. She'd probably passed out. He started to try to force energy back into her, then realized he might need it himself just getting out.

There were a few red lights blinking, but no one was responding yet. Maybe she was the only nurse on shift for this section. Clock said it was four-thirty in the morning. And it was the Row, hospital or not. That decided him. Alright, up you go. He pushed himself off the bed and into a standing position. The room started to spin a bit, and he gripped the edge of the bed with both hands to keep himself upright. Man... whatever they've been pumping in must've been the good stuff.

First things first. Not getting caught was going to be important. He shrouded himself in shadow. The magic responded easily tonight, and he wasn't altogether sure why, but he wasn't going to question it right then. A quick spell of invisibility should be enough to get him out, assuming they didn't have Super Securityguard working the late shift. With the magic around him, he could almost feel the high start to diminish.

Let's see... clothes were going to be useful here in a minute. He felt a little silly for not thinking about that sooner. Hospital robe was a giveaway. Plus he didn't want to steal it. There was a bag up on a chair. He pulled it open and peeked inside. Yup, those were his clothes. Minus the shirt. Between the bullets and the blood, they probably trashed it. Jacket was in there, but it was pretty well perforated.

He'd stand out to anyone who noticed the bullet holes, but it beat hospital clothes. He changed as fast as he could manage, for the first time since he could remember needing to use the arm of the chair for balance. He wondered why they'd bothered keeping the jacket, idly, but shrugged and finally made his way to the nurse.

Hey, get up... people might need you. He touched her shoulder gently, feeling some of his hard-won energy going into her. She stirred a bit.

That is going to have to be good enough. I'm already feeling a little shaky. Casey made his way out the door. Another nurse was rushing down the hall, maybe called over from another wing when nobody responded to something. She didn't see him.

Walking was slow. He kept telling himself that slow was the right way to sneak, but that wasn't why. Pain was why. Can't stay here. I almost killed that nurse. I gotta go.

Someone was calling for security to search the building. Well, no surprise there. Time to take the stairs. He was only on the second floor. One flight of stairs couldn't be that bad.

It was. Each stair was its own herculean task. Each step down brought a jolt of pain and an additional question about why he wasn't back in bed. He thought about teleporting, but someone... maybe several someones, had made it very clear that teleporting while high was dangerous. He didn't know how much of that crap had gone out of his system by now, but he wasn't taking chances.

He pushed the lobby door open. Kevin was behind the front desk, talking to the receptionist. "Well, when you find him, give me a call, and I'll sign him out. But if he's escaping your people, he's probably in a lot better shape than he was yesterday."

The receptionist did not seem at all amused. "Mister Rein, this is a very serious matter. Several of our nurses have complained about him. Then there was tonight's incident where a member of our staff fainted in his room."

Kevin shrugged. "All the more reason to take him off your hands. Let me know what you find out." He turned and walked out.

Casey started to make his way toward the door as well, hoping to catch up, but he fell a good twenty feet shy of the door when it swung closed.

He let out a slow sigh. Now what?

A moment later, he had his answer. A slight tug pulled at him. He looked around for a source, then realized what must be happening and gave himself up to the pull, disappearing from the lobby entirely.

He reappeared on the sidewalk. Kevin was shaking his head. "That was dumb, you know that right?"

Casey blinked. "Uh... glad... to see you too?"

"I'd have been happier to see you if you hadn't knocked out a nurse to get out."

Casey shivered. "It wasn't me, Bro. I mean... it was, but it was an accident. That's why I said I had to go. I don't want to do that to those people."

Kevin nodded. "Then let's find another way."

Casey nodded, a little nervous. Kevin put an arm around him, and the two started walking toward home.

* * * * *

Saturday, 3pm, King's Row General Hospital

Casey walked into the hospital under his own power this time. He felt... worlds better. Uncomfortable, but physically he was a lot better. He got to the desk, Kevin a few paces behind. He apologized for the trouble, promised it wasn't on purpose.

The nurse was called up. She agreed not to press charges, and seemed to accept that Casey had also been the one who woke her up again when she'd fainted.

Casey was given a brief physical examination. The wounds were mostly healed. The stitches were gone. After some discussion, it was determined that he was free to go home, but would return in a week to make sure there wasn’t any lasting damage. A few forms were presented that Kevin signed, and he was free to go.

On their way home, Casey stopped and looked at his brother. "Hey, Bro..."

Kevin shook his head. "We're not talking about it. Family first, Case."

Casey nodded, knowing his brother couldn't see it, as he'd kept walking. "Uh... right. Family first."