Say Goodnight to tha Blue guy!
Posted: Wed Nov 19, 2008 2:30 am
His new "Heroing" outfit was gone, but he'd left his school uniform behind. In a by the bed, light glinted off of the smashed, golden-looking remnants of a clockwork that had been intended as a gift. Beneath that lay the heavy chains he had taken to wearing recently.
He left the note on his bed, in plain sight.
It wasn't difficult to get out of the school at night, and no nun was really capable of stopping him if they spotted him. In the back of his mind sometimes, other times at the fore, the thought kept rolling around that he can just go back, get rid of the note, and go on with his life. Other times he thought of the other students. He remembers Dar getting offended at Pocket D. All that anger and thinking it was somehow right, quick to be offended. Sam had been nice to him at first, but her friend Tony had insulted the place he was born and raised. Sam had quickly slid into indifference toward him, and that comment about football being the wrong sport for someone who doesn't like running, well, that just hurt him in some deep way he didn't want to confront. That WAS what he wanted, wasn't it? Back to his old life of being normal and too weak to quit the team he hated?
Aura was nice, but she was a little too insistent about pacifism to a guy who's stupidity made him extremely good at the sport of Tsoo throwing. It was funny, she thought it was football. Alex was interesting to talk to late at night, even if he did pretty much admit that he's just monstrous enough to whine and cry, but not enough to stand out more than snake-girls and the guy who had to stay in a suit all the time. Alex would hate what he was about to do, if he had the guts to go through with it.
He was taking too much time for this. Maybe he should go back. Ya know, he could still do this in the future if he wanted to. It doesn't have to be now.
His thoughts turn away from those he's met at school. He'd talked about going back in time and changing things, not ending up this way. There's always the possibility that he'd fail, or it just wouldn't be possible. Maybe things would work out in a worse way for trying. What if they don't let him just go back and do this? He was going to find a way back there somehow for his selfish task. Even if he had to work his way around all of these Menders and their agendas. Once he succeeds, neither he nor anyone else will know anything's changed. Everything will be back to how it should have been. Instead of this muscled hulk that villains fears and girls noticed, he'd be back in his life of obscurity. That kind of life is what he deserved, right?
Just what he deserved. But...
He'd been noticed. There were girls here that liked him, even just a little bit. That didn't mean much to a lot of people. To him, that helpless loner at heart, it had meant so much. He'd known, back when he was human, that all the football and all the hoping and "what if"'s in the world was useless. He'd be alone. Beth was the first girl he kissed, and Billi was his first girlfriend, but its not like that was something that would make his life worthwhile. What, he'd stay with Billi, eventually get married? That would be ridiculous and unlikely. His first girlfriend, but not some sort of lifeline to cling to against trying to fix his life. If everything works out, she won't even know he acted so selfishly. Until then, I guess she's gotta hate him.
And he won't know what he gave up.
He summons the portal, momentarily blinded by the bright glow. He's not sure if he wants to face himself, and that's why he makes sure his new mask is pulled down over his face before stepping into the glow and dissappearing.
He left a note on his bed, in plain sight.
"I'm leaving. I can't stay here anymore. Here's a cliche, its not ya'll, its me. I'm the one who can't deal with this. I'm a walking tank and it should be great, right? I spend my nights wishing I was myself again, not what I turned into. I want to be someone because I chose to be someone, not because I made a dumb mistake. I'm not coming back from Ouroboros. I'm my own person and I'm doing what I want to make my life better. If I fail, you might see me 40 years older next week. If I succeed, you'll never know me at all. To those who care about me, I'm sorry. This isn't just some impulse because I'm upset. I'm not going to settle for being told I should just make lemonade because it makes the rest of you feel better. It keeps me like this, and I can't live knowing that. Goodbye and thanks for the memories, even the ones that weren't that great."
-Out of time,
William Jaryd Robinson, aka Muncie
He left the note on his bed, in plain sight.
It wasn't difficult to get out of the school at night, and no nun was really capable of stopping him if they spotted him. In the back of his mind sometimes, other times at the fore, the thought kept rolling around that he can just go back, get rid of the note, and go on with his life. Other times he thought of the other students. He remembers Dar getting offended at Pocket D. All that anger and thinking it was somehow right, quick to be offended. Sam had been nice to him at first, but her friend Tony had insulted the place he was born and raised. Sam had quickly slid into indifference toward him, and that comment about football being the wrong sport for someone who doesn't like running, well, that just hurt him in some deep way he didn't want to confront. That WAS what he wanted, wasn't it? Back to his old life of being normal and too weak to quit the team he hated?
Aura was nice, but she was a little too insistent about pacifism to a guy who's stupidity made him extremely good at the sport of Tsoo throwing. It was funny, she thought it was football. Alex was interesting to talk to late at night, even if he did pretty much admit that he's just monstrous enough to whine and cry, but not enough to stand out more than snake-girls and the guy who had to stay in a suit all the time. Alex would hate what he was about to do, if he had the guts to go through with it.
He was taking too much time for this. Maybe he should go back. Ya know, he could still do this in the future if he wanted to. It doesn't have to be now.
His thoughts turn away from those he's met at school. He'd talked about going back in time and changing things, not ending up this way. There's always the possibility that he'd fail, or it just wouldn't be possible. Maybe things would work out in a worse way for trying. What if they don't let him just go back and do this? He was going to find a way back there somehow for his selfish task. Even if he had to work his way around all of these Menders and their agendas. Once he succeeds, neither he nor anyone else will know anything's changed. Everything will be back to how it should have been. Instead of this muscled hulk that villains fears and girls noticed, he'd be back in his life of obscurity. That kind of life is what he deserved, right?
Just what he deserved. But...
He'd been noticed. There were girls here that liked him, even just a little bit. That didn't mean much to a lot of people. To him, that helpless loner at heart, it had meant so much. He'd known, back when he was human, that all the football and all the hoping and "what if"'s in the world was useless. He'd be alone. Beth was the first girl he kissed, and Billi was his first girlfriend, but its not like that was something that would make his life worthwhile. What, he'd stay with Billi, eventually get married? That would be ridiculous and unlikely. His first girlfriend, but not some sort of lifeline to cling to against trying to fix his life. If everything works out, she won't even know he acted so selfishly. Until then, I guess she's gotta hate him.
And he won't know what he gave up.
He summons the portal, momentarily blinded by the bright glow. He's not sure if he wants to face himself, and that's why he makes sure his new mask is pulled down over his face before stepping into the glow and dissappearing.
He left a note on his bed, in plain sight.
"I'm leaving. I can't stay here anymore. Here's a cliche, its not ya'll, its me. I'm the one who can't deal with this. I'm a walking tank and it should be great, right? I spend my nights wishing I was myself again, not what I turned into. I want to be someone because I chose to be someone, not because I made a dumb mistake. I'm not coming back from Ouroboros. I'm my own person and I'm doing what I want to make my life better. If I fail, you might see me 40 years older next week. If I succeed, you'll never know me at all. To those who care about me, I'm sorry. This isn't just some impulse because I'm upset. I'm not going to settle for being told I should just make lemonade because it makes the rest of you feel better. It keeps me like this, and I can't live knowing that. Goodbye and thanks for the memories, even the ones that weren't that great."
-Out of time,
William Jaryd Robinson, aka Muncie