How To Blow Up an Ipod: The Luke Bartel Story
Posted: Wed Jul 02, 2008 10:29 pm
*Speaks in a slight New York accent*
Hey all. Name's Lukas Bartel Jr. Call me Luke. Seriously, I dare you to call me Lukas.
Anyways, if ya wanna know my story, it all started back when I was living in New York City.
Y'see, my dad's this hoity toity scientists who plays with his robots all day. He's pretty successful, and we live... lived, in this huge complex right outta Greenwich. He's pretty much always working on his nerdy shit, so I don't really pay much attention. But the week before I left, he was a completely different person. Paid attention to me constantly, suddenly asking about my social life and crap like that. He obviously was trying to get me to like him. Didn't work.
So the day I left, a friday, my dad was doing his usual nerd act in his lab, while I was playing around with this one segway thing he just bought. Things were pretty sweet until the front door exploded. Like, the entire front portion of our house was just demolished. When the smoke cleared, I saw some kinda troops wearing weird costumes burst in. I immediate panicked and ran into my dad's lab.
Steel doors can be a very good thing. The lab was designed to be bomb-proof, so it was covered in thick metal. Those soldiers were gonna have a hard time getting in. So, after panicking and trying to stop my ears from ringing, I questioned my dad.
Who are these guys? Why are they here? We gonna die?!
Turns out, these jokers are from the Nemesis army, some russian cult I guess. They've been pestering my dad to join them and help them take over the world with a robot army. Weird.
So now, they're coming to take dear old daddy away.
I groaned as my dad quickly started to put together some kinda device.
As he did, he explained that I had to sit down and put on one of his contraptions. Why the hell would I do that?
He sighed, and told me how he ruined my life. He's been amplifying some kinda power i have over machines, in order to help his research. He's been conducting research on me as soon as i'm asleep. As he told me this, the Nemesis army was quickly gaining on us. They were drilling into the friggen' wall.
My dad screamed for me to get on the machine, but I flat out refused. He nervously looked at me, then sighed. He realized how pissed off I was, and it was taking all of my self control to break down. He told me to hide, and prepared some of his robots to fight. I quickly dove behind a huge metal box just as the troops blew down the door.
"Bartel, you're coming with us!"
As my father unleashed his pathetic robots against Nemesis' killer ones, the infantrymen quickly apprehended my dad.
I tried to stay as quiet as I could, but I couldn't help but notice the small devices I was hiding behind. As I peered at them though, my head was suddenly rushed with information and the devices sprung to life. They chirped and buzzed and was generally an annoyance. I sighed and peeked behind the box. All the soldiers heard it, yup.
I got up and bolted.
"After that kid! He's seen too much!"
I ran as fast as I could, knowing that those tiny Nemesis robots of death were hot on my heels. I needed something to outrun them... anything.
I spotted the segway from earlier in the corner of my eye, and sighed. Better than nothing. I hopped on and drove it down my father's runway. Yes, we have our own runway, jeez. It was fairly long, and was used primarily to test speed on my dad's unmanned vehicles.
I looked behind me. These things were coming at me really fast.
Go faster! GO FASTER!
Suddenly, electricity rippled through my hands into the small segway. It zoomed. Zoomed.
I found myself losing my senses as I sped through the tunnel. I forced myself to look behind me, and the small robots were eating my dust. Dang, I must've been going what, 200 miles per hour?
Lots of dramatic uninteresting crap followed, but short story short, I can talk to machines, my dad screwed me up, Nemesis kidnapped my dad, I escaped, happy ending.
((Luke is a technopath, meaning he can communicate with and manipulate electrical machinery. This allows him to manipulate simple objects such as phones, ipods, and computers, provided they don't rush too much information into his head. He also has something I dub "electrical awareness" and can somehow sense if one thing's mechanical or not. Don't worry, in no way can he come even close to manipulating advanced AI/androids, although he may try it. Luke also has a secondary power, being able to generate his own odd form of electricity. Its what he primarily uses to control electronics, but may also harm humans if he wishes it.))
Hey all. Name's Lukas Bartel Jr. Call me Luke. Seriously, I dare you to call me Lukas.
Anyways, if ya wanna know my story, it all started back when I was living in New York City.
Y'see, my dad's this hoity toity scientists who plays with his robots all day. He's pretty successful, and we live... lived, in this huge complex right outta Greenwich. He's pretty much always working on his nerdy shit, so I don't really pay much attention. But the week before I left, he was a completely different person. Paid attention to me constantly, suddenly asking about my social life and crap like that. He obviously was trying to get me to like him. Didn't work.
So the day I left, a friday, my dad was doing his usual nerd act in his lab, while I was playing around with this one segway thing he just bought. Things were pretty sweet until the front door exploded. Like, the entire front portion of our house was just demolished. When the smoke cleared, I saw some kinda troops wearing weird costumes burst in. I immediate panicked and ran into my dad's lab.
Steel doors can be a very good thing. The lab was designed to be bomb-proof, so it was covered in thick metal. Those soldiers were gonna have a hard time getting in. So, after panicking and trying to stop my ears from ringing, I questioned my dad.
Who are these guys? Why are they here? We gonna die?!
Turns out, these jokers are from the Nemesis army, some russian cult I guess. They've been pestering my dad to join them and help them take over the world with a robot army. Weird.
So now, they're coming to take dear old daddy away.
I groaned as my dad quickly started to put together some kinda device.
As he did, he explained that I had to sit down and put on one of his contraptions. Why the hell would I do that?
He sighed, and told me how he ruined my life. He's been amplifying some kinda power i have over machines, in order to help his research. He's been conducting research on me as soon as i'm asleep. As he told me this, the Nemesis army was quickly gaining on us. They were drilling into the friggen' wall.
My dad screamed for me to get on the machine, but I flat out refused. He nervously looked at me, then sighed. He realized how pissed off I was, and it was taking all of my self control to break down. He told me to hide, and prepared some of his robots to fight. I quickly dove behind a huge metal box just as the troops blew down the door.
"Bartel, you're coming with us!"
As my father unleashed his pathetic robots against Nemesis' killer ones, the infantrymen quickly apprehended my dad.
I tried to stay as quiet as I could, but I couldn't help but notice the small devices I was hiding behind. As I peered at them though, my head was suddenly rushed with information and the devices sprung to life. They chirped and buzzed and was generally an annoyance. I sighed and peeked behind the box. All the soldiers heard it, yup.
I got up and bolted.
"After that kid! He's seen too much!"
I ran as fast as I could, knowing that those tiny Nemesis robots of death were hot on my heels. I needed something to outrun them... anything.
I spotted the segway from earlier in the corner of my eye, and sighed. Better than nothing. I hopped on and drove it down my father's runway. Yes, we have our own runway, jeez. It was fairly long, and was used primarily to test speed on my dad's unmanned vehicles.
I looked behind me. These things were coming at me really fast.
Go faster! GO FASTER!
Suddenly, electricity rippled through my hands into the small segway. It zoomed. Zoomed.
I found myself losing my senses as I sped through the tunnel. I forced myself to look behind me, and the small robots were eating my dust. Dang, I must've been going what, 200 miles per hour?
Lots of dramatic uninteresting crap followed, but short story short, I can talk to machines, my dad screwed me up, Nemesis kidnapped my dad, I escaped, happy ending.
((Luke is a technopath, meaning he can communicate with and manipulate electrical machinery. This allows him to manipulate simple objects such as phones, ipods, and computers, provided they don't rush too much information into his head. He also has something I dub "electrical awareness" and can somehow sense if one thing's mechanical or not. Don't worry, in no way can he come even close to manipulating advanced AI/androids, although he may try it. Luke also has a secondary power, being able to generate his own odd form of electricity. Its what he primarily uses to control electronics, but may also harm humans if he wishes it.))