Saint Joseph School

((Nova in game, keeps a journal about all that he has done, this represents the book if it were complete, and available to read by others. *Its written in celestial... sooo.... in game, good luck getting your hands on it* The Illuminated one will be explained in some future time when I get his backstory before earth posted.))

Chapter 22: Ascended... Transcended? Sorta...

Having been on earth for nearly 6 months, I have run into an impasse with humans... something is missing. I know their history, well some of it, and I am starting to understand some of the whys, but my perspective, it just isn't right. The celestial in me, I just don't get them... the chemistry the biology, most of it makes sense, but some of it, the important stuff I just don't get.

I was sent here, to live with them for a reason, and I was enrolled in Saint Joe's because I didn't fit in with them... and I pretty much still don't. There has to be something too this race, something more than their basic genetics, reading some of their text they speak of a soul, the driving force for their passions. The closest thing described in the books is a kind of energy, but after looking inside then, well as many as I could, I didn't see it, I couldn't find it. After reading more it seems that it is something more abstract, not quiet bound by cosmic law. I have an idea though...

Taking on the form of a human takes some time, their appearances are very static, however through a complex muscle skeletal and nervous system they are able to perform interesting movements. Humans also have some very cool dance moves! I will get into those later. After several days of focus I was able to convert all of my celestial energy human form. The process is very unpleasant and left me feeling completely drained. Even now I can tell how much weaker, physically a feel... I can't even call out simple amounts of energy to protect myself. Honestly, I for the first time understand what fear is. Before I knew hesitation due to circumstances, but this... its something different. Its what is the unknown, even around other students, knowing if one of them were to lose control... I... might be killed. People I started to get close to... friends, they all seem so dangerous now, but I don't want to let them know how I feel.

Its almost overwhelming, but it isn't the only thing that is different, I can see things differently now, I don't see them for the channels of energy flowing through their body, I see them for what they are, I see them as people. Thats not all though, I can hear them, not the words they speak, but almost like their emotions make a kind of noise. I am afraid that when I became fully human, that I somehow developed abilities, much like many of the other students here at St. Joe's. I am worried though, as they seem to have some unpleasant side effects, which I know is the case with some others. As of now no one has seemed to notice, so I guess its hidden well enough. I am worried what they might think though, if I can pick up on their emotions who knows how far in I can go. I know I wouldn't want someone messing around with my mind. As for the other stuff, this new body is really a mess, it gets dirty all the time, it needs food and liquid basically non stop, an it seems to have a mind of its own sometimes... this is going to take some serious getting used to....

Forced Practice

I have been working a lot lately, I have been tired all the time, and I can't get rid of the headaches, I can't believe the level of pain that people actually go through. My best guess is, its the effect of these powers, and using them so much... I get tired so easy now, I sleep 6 to 8 hours out of the day just so I can function during the next. I have been getting better, I can now block out everything everyone is thinking, thankfully it was all so loud and jumbled I didn't pick any secrets out, at least none that I could understand. The.... physical side effect that manifested itself earlier seems to be the key to most of this Psionic stuff, its almost like an energy gate from my celestial body, only much more intense.

After some serious practice, and waking up from passing out, I went out to attempt some missions with these new powers. They are... effective, but in a very different than my own. The human mind is very vulnerable to psionic powers it seems. While the physical damage is nothing like the energy blasts I can use, with just a flicker of energy I can overwhelm somethings mind, and completely disable them. I found that by manipulating some of their senses, I can even confuse them into thinking I am their friend, and their ally beside them is me. I also learned two different ways to put people to sleep, the first involves a slightly different "flicker" of psionic energy that actually damages their mind, the other is completely harmless so I will probably test it on some friends. Most likely Stasis if I can convince her it won't hurt too much. Finally, there was telekinesis, this is something I actually read about, rather than finding out on my own. A lot of psychics seem to have this power in one way or another, so I figured I had better learn it quick. It took a lot more practice than I thought it would, to move even a small box, but once I figured it out, it didn't take long before I could pin someone against a wall without any real harm. If I focus intensely on them I can actually create a field around the target and repel some of their friends! Though its really hard to keep them in the field without losing focus on the main guy... I will have to work at this.

For now, the headaches are not as bad as they were before, and I can already tell I'm getting stronger. With some more practice I can probably keep effecting more and more people. On this matter, there have been some people at the testing facility hanging around lately, I know their intentions were tied to me, because that was the emotions they were projecting. I know they are supposed to be the good guys, but I don't trust them, their lack of understanding makes them dangerous. I can't however go against them as they are tied to the Freedom Phalanx. For now, I will just have to keep an eye on them, something that has become surprisingly easier over the past week.

I got to meet up with Yuki again, it has been a long time since I saw her, and she has grown quite a bit. I always wondered what had happened to her, and now I get a chance to catch up! Well hopefully I will since I actually spend time on the campus now. I couldn't help but smile, I could just feel what a strong person she had become.

Time to continue practicing though... I think there might be more to this psychic energy stuff than just effecting peoples minds. We will see....

A Call for Help

I was continuing to practice by myself, to make sure no one got hurt, when I was approached by another hero, and adult, someone I didn't recognize. He quickly explained that members of his super group had been contacted by The Statesman himself! Lord Recluse, I think one of the more, if not the most powerful Villain in the city was planning something big, and they needed help. I tried to explain, there probably wasn't much I could do for them, I am a pretty high security level, but this was just out of my league. From going on a few missions I knew that even some regular bad guys could resist my psychic powers easily. I knew people like Lord Recluse, and his closest allies would probably be the strongest of the villains.

The leader assured, that he would watch after me, afterall he could turn himself into a giant stone creature that from what I would eventually see, couldn't be hurt by just about anything. I won't lie, I was terrified, this wasn't the place for mistakes to be made, I asked if I could take an hour to shift back to my normal state, but he explained there was no time. Recluse was making his move, and we were charged with stopping him in time.

I hung back, just trying to follow the rest of the heroes, they all seemed to know exactly what they were doing, and they did keep me safe from the hoards of arachnos, more than I could ever hope to take on. The first mission took us to a large facility, where we were supposed to capture one of the Arbiters, he wasn't so tough, but he brought a lot of back up with him. I did my best, but in the end, I didn't do much to him, though I did manage to keep his allies busy. The Stone guy gave me a pat on the back, it hurt... but it felt good to know that I really helped them... Once I think I even caught the Arbiter off guard, and managed to control his mind just for a few seconds, but he shook it off pretty quickly.

There were spider guys and arch villains everywhere, but like the leader said, he kept me safe... that didn't help me with being as afraid as I was. I quickly found you approach tasks differently when you are... well mortal. Next we traveled to another dimension in search of a Doctor who worked for Lord Recluse, apparently he was very important somehow. We ran into of his best, but we couldn't find him. I helped as best I could, but again, they all seemed to just shrug off my powers like I wasn't even there. Next, we fought a big tree that the Circle of Thorns were guarding, I don't really know why, but I was assured, it held something we needed to take down the Doctor... the tree didn't have a mind, so again... I felt pretty useless. Why couldn't I have been in my celestial form, I could have done so much more.

Next, we managed to track down the Doctor, but he had another 4 guards, arch villains, guarding him, they were tough, I couldn't have done anything about them, but as a team we managed to defeat them. The leader saw how hard I was trying, but I just couldn't break their will, he took me aside as the team gathered up for what would be the final mission. He held out his hand, in it was a rock, he said "Break it " I tried, with everything I had, but I couldn't. He then told me "You don't break a rock like this by just smashing it on the ground, you weather it, the forces of nature, acid in the water, friction from dust in the wind, all of it in time will weaken it, so in time. " He easily crushed the rock in his hands and continued "Even the smallest amount of force will be enough to break it" I kind of understood what he was saying, but I had no idea what I was supposed to do... somehow weaken these Arch Villains. This was a bad time to learn new powers, considering from what little I heard between Statesman and our leader, things were very dire.

We were to fight Lord Recluses' inner circle next in order to draw him out and finally reveal his plans. I was now determined to find away to help my team, these guys were so brave I couldn't believe it. Even the other members who were not protected by invulnerable stone armor charged into battle without a moments hesitation, their courage really inspired me to go all out and not hold back.

We first came across Ghost Widow, I was told she wasn't even alive anymore and that she was immune to mind control powers, I thought back to what our leader had told me, about the rock. I focused with everything I had on her, and couldn't budge her, even with my telekinesis. I tried harder and harder, until my nose actually started to bleed. Luckily there was an empath there to quickly fix the damage, but something was happening. The air around her started to snap and crack with what seemed like electricity. Something was happening, and I continued to poor myself into it. I saw for a moment her eyes widen, as she immediately focused on me, I stopped all at once as she sent out some horrific attack, I thought for sure I was finished... but a second, 2, 3, later nothing had happened. I slowly opened my eyes to see our leader standing there, a giant mountain of stone, holding back a fist filled with dark energies. "Nova!!!" He yelled "Don't stop" I quickly regained my stance, and started to focus again, I could see it this time, the air around her was saturated with psychic energy, it was irradiating the the space surrounding her, I quickly realized the problem, some of my teammates were there, trying to fight her. If this was bad for her, it could be deadly for them. Using telekinesis I was able to focus the aura of charged air around her and just her. She tried desperately to get past our leader, but he wouldn't relent for anything, we all began to feel her horrific power weaken. It seemed to be enough to start to turn the tides, within minutes of exposure to this radiation, our leader had a firm grasp on her, giving another member the opening she needed to disable Ghost Widow. One down 3 to go!

There was a guy with a sword who seemed to use sand and lightning for attacks, I focused again, and the air became charged like before, it was taking a lot out of me, but there was a kinetics user who seemed to give me almost unlimited amounts of endurance. The Sand guy was no match of our team, as things were starting to look up. Next came Black Scorpion and Captain Mako, at the same time! I couldn't believe it, their power was immense, but our leader managed to hold both of them back, this guy was incredible! I continued to pour more and more energy into the air around them, then it hit me, I was using one method of psychic energy I learned, what If I were to fill the air with the other method too! The air around the two of them began to change once more, they seemed distracted, as it took more of their concentration just to hold their composure, they began to land less hits, and they were giving us more openings. I couldn't believe it, I first the Scorpion fell, then the shark. We did it, we took down the inner circle, but as I found out the real fight had just begun.

Lord Recluse himself came out, I hid behind the tank quickly, covering my ears as his voice tore through the area. I couldn't even move, I was just too afraid, as he finished his speech, I felt a hand on my shoulder, I slowly looked up to see the leaders face emerge from the rock armor. "Don't worry Nova" he hold me "This rock is far from worn down" He smiled, but I could see the deep gashes that the others had sliced into him. The empath had fixed his body, but I worried for the armor that surrounded him. I slowly climbed to my feet, I had been watching them, and the way they heal people, I had healed others before as a celestial, why couldn't I do it as a human. I asked him to wait, to hold the team for just a minute... he listened, he could tell I was exhausted, but that wasn't my reason. We were going to need everything we had for the fight, and I told myself I wouldn't hold back....

I slowly untied the head band that had concealed the "change" that had happened when I first started to use my new powers, there was a violent flux of energy around the air, as suddenly everyone in the group was staring at me as if something was wrong. What ever it was, it could wait... everything became so clear with it as a focal point, I could see things I couldn't before, the new abilities that had manifested, I started to understand. Charging the molecules around me, in specific ways produced different effects, I started to build up energy inside myself, at first everyone took a step back, but the empath assured them everything was all right, she knew about what was happening. Once I had enough, I let it lose all at once, like a wave exploding from my body. It quickly charged the air around it, but in a way different than before. I watched as the deep gashes in the stone began to repair themselves, as well as the cuts and blast marks on the armors and suits of the heroes around me. I had taken from what I saw from the empath, and gave it my own little twist... but I wasn't done yet. The kineticist had shown me something as well, quickly I gathered more energy inside me, much more than for the healing. He looked at me curiously, as if he partially understood what I was doing, knowing enough that it was safe. He had given us great speed, almost unlimited endurance, and incredible damage, all at once the energy I had built up was released, a green glow washed over the entire team. It effected me as well, I could tell I was already stronger, faster, I had tried my best to boost our endurance, as well as keep our minds focused with this burst of energy. "Lets go" the leader promptly said, as Recluse stood there, laughing at our attempts.

It was like time slowed down, as the fight began, our leader stood off against him, but the sheer power Recluse had, sent waves of energy out around him knocking the peacebringer and the scrapper unconscious, before I could even try to surround him with radiation. The empath quickly got the peacebringer to her feet, while the scrapper managed to get up through her own will. This fight was not going to be over that fast. I gave it everything I had, but it seemed like it barely effected him, he seemed to anticipate our every move. I had an idea, and while he seemed to have perfect focus on the 8 of us, he only followed attacks that came at him from a direct line of sight. I kept trying to get at his mind as a ploy while building up and charging the air above him. It was heavy, worse than lead, but I knew I would need more, much more to slow him down. When I couldn't hold anymore, I screamed as loud as I could "Everyone Back!" our leader called out "Now" quickly, he might have even known something was going on, and just as everyone backed away, the supercharged radioactive particles materialized, and fell on him, their charge was just right to cling to the closest thing, and they seemed to almost jump onto him. I could see his eyes widen, he wasn't expecting it. Suddenly he became slower, the radioactivity slowing his inhuman regeneration rate. Cuts and blasts that were once instantly repairing themselves seemed to heal much slower, until they stopped healing all together. Recluse was in trouble, and I could sense that he knew it, it was the first time I could read anything from him at all. Suddenly, he started to summon minions from all around him. For once I didn't panic, our leader told me afterwards I might have even cracked a grin. I let lose every bit of energy I had, Recluse screamed to his minions to come to his aid, but they only stood there grabbing their heads, trying to fight out of the chaos inside their minds. That was the last thing I remember.... apparently I over did it a bit, when I woke up, I was over our leaders shoulder, and I heard him talking to Statesman about what had happened. It turned out Lord Recluse was about to try and steal the powers or ever super in the world, luckily we were there in time to stop him. When I woke up again, I was in the med bay with the whole team there. Apparently I had really over done it, but our leader, whose name I found out finally was Maverick, told me that Recluse had gotten away, but not before we stopped his plans. In the end he was no match for the 8 of us. He told me to get better soon, and shook my hand, as the rest of the team left he said "Ya did good kid" and I couldn't help but beam, thats when I felt something in my hand. It was a small badge, he told me Statesman gave it to everyone on the team. On it it read "We the citizens of Paragon, pay thanks to the Peerless heroes, who on this day Saved the World

I returned shortly after getting released to take one last look at the machine that almost put an end to everything I have come to care for.





I feel like maybe today, I finally grew a little...

Saving the world, a new hobby?
(The following post contains spoilers of the Lady Grey TF, if you have yet to do it, and don't want to know all the surprises, don't read on)

Word about what happened to Lord Recluse seemed to spread fast, not many believed a Kid so young could have that kind of effect on a Villain of his stature. I don't blame them, I am still coming to terms with it myself. I spent most of the day resting up from my injuries, the medics and empaths can only fix so much though. I kinda looked like a mummy for a while there, but thankfully not many of the students saw me. I had planned to just practice some more, try to get better at controlling these new powers and see just what they could do, but that wasn't about to happen.

The Rikti, this alien race a spawn of humanity, were up to something big. The warzone is a real mess, while we have managed to push the invasion back for the most part, these things just don't give up. Our first mission had us finding a young psychic, her name was Penelope, she was nice. It wasn't hard to track her signal with these new psionic powers. It was kind of surprising, that when we were about to take her to the exit, the Psi Clockwork King from that other dimension showed up... to protect her. I kinda wanted to show off for her, being a psychic and all, to show her just what I could do. With a bit of concentration, I made it look like all the clockwork around the king, were in fact me, getting read to punch him in the Brain! Apparently he panicked and let lose a wave of psychic energy destroying them all at once. It kinda made me glad I didn't go in after him... afterwards she thanked me and the team, and even gave me a big hug! I didn't know what to do... but oh well.

Next we were to take down a group of legendary Rikti called the riders, these guys were tough, one of them even managed to send me to the hospital with a pretty serious energy wound. Luckily it missed my vital organs I was told, they patched me up as best they could and I got right back in there. I still don't know how some of these heroes do it, especially regeneraters... they must be able to dull their pain so they don't feel it all, at least I hope they can. We finally beat the 4 of them together, getting the information we needed.

2 Members of the Omega team, as well as some more psychics had been captured, and we needed to set them free. We came across the Omega team, and I couldn't believe it, they weren't much older than me. The Cold girl.. Glacier or something was her name kinda reminded me of Stasis, right to business down to the point. Her sister though was a different story, she just wouldn't stop talking, even when the Rikti ambushed us, she was going on and on about all that she had missed. The leader, some weird named guy, showed up after we rescued them, and we took him down without too much trouble. I few people got hurt, but nothing too serious. I started to find out why everyone was suddenly requesting I come along for these dangerous missions. This radioactive manipulation is downright deadly to these tough targets. It was just like Maverick said, wear them down, and soon it will be easy to crush them. These guys were honestly a bit of a pushover compared to Lord Recluse and his inner circle.

However, I wasn't expecting what was next... The rikti had managed to weaken the Hamidon, and were planning on using it as a source of power to call through a great invasion force. I hoped our mission was a stealthy one, where we could just disable pylons containing the Hamidon, and move on, but that wasn't the case. I couldn't believe it though, when we actually brought the thing down, our team leader, a member of Saint Joe's did an incredible job of coordinating team work. There were again a few expected injuries, but nothing too bad. I thankfully got out of this one with barely a scratch. It made me realize though, just how much more skilled the upperclassmen really are, I thought for a while that we were all pretty similar, but like the team I joined to take on Recluse, these guys were in a different league.

Finally, we made our way to the portal where this Lord of War stood defending it as troops poured through. I couldn't believe how many their were, easily hundreds, if not close to a thousand and just the 8 of us. The odds looked impossible, but our leader hatched a quick plan, he lured the Lord of War back to a position we had secured, we hit him with all we had, taking him down as he continued to call in reinforcements. Just as he was defeated, something came through!


It was a horrible looking zombie creature, I could just feel the raw psychic energy it gave off, it almost knocked me out, but luckily I maintained my composure. Our leader had some information on him, he was in fact a hero of Paragon City who lead the Omega team to seal the portal. Hero 1! I couldn't believe it, I had heard about him from some of the adult heroes, but they always spoke of him like sacrificed his life for earth. I was saddened to see it wasn't his life he sacrificed, but his humanity. At this point, the Rikti were swarming, they were disoriented, but still deadly, but we managed to cut a path to Hero 1 and engage him. I didn't like fighting him, the whole time.. instead of trying to damage his mind in addition to weakening him with radiation, I was trying to show him images of Paragon City, the heroes that defended it, the people that he once fought for.... in the end he couldn't stop fighting, but I have a feeling he let his guard down just enough so we could take him out. While our team cheered, I felt a heavy weight on my chest... like something terrible was awakened inside me. Lady Grey assured us that they would do everything they could to try to save him, but it didn't look good, his mind and something even deeper had been twisted by the rikti.

The final fight was a bit chaotic, I used up a little too much of my energy trying to hold such large numbers of Rikti so we could safely retreat. Unfortunately, one of their Chief Soldiers got through, before I could defend myself, I found myself flying back from the force of their massive sword. I did my best to heal it outside the mission, I hid it just long enough to congratulate our team before heading to the medical facilities. This one was pretty bad, as they took a while to work on me, but finally bandaged me up, and asked me to try and take it easy this time, like they had suggested before. If they only knew how hard that was....

I went to rest for a while, trying to sort out what this pain was deep in the pit of my stomach. It was like something was eating away at me, but since it didn't show up in the medical scans, I new it was something different. We had almost destroyed one the cities greatest heroes, and we were cheered and awarded for it, but I never really felt good about what had happened. Part of me wanted to believe, if I had somehow tried harder, I could have gotten through to him completely, but it was too late for that. Lady Grey gave everyone a Badge entitled "Apocalyptic" I accepted it, but placed it in my pocket, it would not be a title that I would be proud to wear.

I ran into Rocco and Yuki later on in the night, and things didn't really go well there. I didn't tell them, but that feeling was getting much worse, almost like it was building up inside. Everything about me seemed to change, if I would have watched myself from above, I couldn't have believed it to be me. I even told her... I shouldn't have, but I did. I don't know why, but I knew she of all people would understand it to a degree. It seems that now I am the one in need of help from her, and being a good friend she said she would be there for me. I finished the night trying once again to switch back to my celestial form, something however isn't working, for now... I seem to be stuck this way.

*Crudely Written with what seems like a shaking hand*

It happened tonight, what I feared, whatever was building up finally came out. Unlike the other times, it seems like I have gone too far, I can't close it, I can't change back. It seems so much more than I would like to ever know, it seems to have tapped into the history of this city, unearthing all its terrible secrets, almost as if to feed, to grow stronger. I don't know how to stop it at this point, I'm afraid if I let anyone get close I will hurt them. This isn't what I wanted, humanity is supposed to be about balance, I think the only focus on the light of things to make it seem in a state of equilibrium with the darkness.

I feel alive, for the first time that I can remember, everything has a feeling to it, a pulse, I understand now what the story of my brother and I meant. Born the Illuminated One, understanding nothing but bringing light into the world, his purity was his strength, seeing this in the absolute light so that no darkness would befall those around him. Darkstar, the Enlightened one, burdened with the absolute truth, the weight of the world on his shoulders as he could see through the darkness, those around him would see their world for what it truly was, and it would make them stronger. A sight beyond ones eyes, to see inside....

It makes sense now, why I can't change back... why I am stuck like this, I became human, and let down my defenses, the darkness that is in every human heart seeped in, twisted what was originally there. I saw the good in people as the Illuminated one, but there was something missing, I couldn't understand why they deceive one another, why they hate those around them. For now, I need to find a way to control it, if not to have it recede, then to just have control of my own body.

After hours of mediation, the rage seems to have subsided, as if I have settled in the eye of a tempest, I can still feel the walls of the storm around me. For now, I seem to be in control again, though looking at my reflection in the water, my appearance has not changed. If they would not accept me before, what chance do I have now?

Without Form

Everything is so strange, I can remember seeing here there, with another figure, I didn't recognize the other though. I needed her help, she had to know what she did to me, she needed to remember, but she couldn't. The build up, it was too much, like I was filling up with something that was not me, yet was being hollowed out at the same time. There was pain, like nothing before, I felt my vision dissolve down the sides of my face, like tears that had never been cried before.

Everything burned, like my body was a disease, and my soul was trying to get rid of it. I remember what it was like to float, to not be bound by gravity, to not struggle against it. I was a Nexus for something greater than myself. I just wanted her to help me, to fix what she did, I didn't want it to happen, but I knew it would. I wished for a different goodbye, one where I could have hugged her one last time, to let her know things would be fine. I wanted to tell her, before it was too late.

All it once, it stopped, there was no more. Everything seemed to make sense all at once. I saw what I was, I saw who I was, for the first time in my life. I remembered my family, my mother and father, my brother, they were all there, watching me. I knew everything would be okay. Two from the school were there too, I didn't get to say goodbye to her, I wanted her to look me in the eyes and say farewell. I don't think she knew what she meant to me.

All at once, everything that tied me to this place, to these people was burned away, leaving only who I was, who I am. The bonds that held me to this place were broken, as were the seals that kept everything in place. The planet began to fall away from me, knowing what was to happen. The name of my people, my family, we are the children of stars, born, created with their soul bound to ours.

The Illuminated One is what they called him, a guardian, protector, who spread his light so that all may see, with his brother the enlightened one, they brought light and knowledge so that all things may see and understand. Together they were sealed into the bodies of twin brothers, so that they may survive when destiny would call upon them once again. The twins would be rejected by their own people out of fear of what would befall them, when others discovered who they were. They were cast into space to one day reach a planet where they would grow together, and be accepted as one of its people. They were both to arrive two thousand rotations after a great event on the planet, yet Darkstar arrived alone.

It would be 7 rotations later before Daystar would arrive, in that time the brothers born as twins would grow apart, Darkstar learning to live on his own, growing up in a world without light, only a dark understanding of all that was around him. Without the balance of his brother, he would be shunned by the planet and its inhabitants, they would try to chase him away, but he was bound to this place by a greater power.

Darkstar? Where are you? Why didn't you help me? I saw you there, I saw you standing with her, if you can't do anything for me, do something for her. Help her...

There was silence as I looked all around me, to see them standing there, faces pointed to the sky. I was happy that I had met her, that I had fought by her, that I had stood by her when others threatened and opposed her. I only wish I could have stayed beside her.

My senses opened and in an instant, all that was came to an end. I reached out to tell her the goodbye I had wished to say with a warm embrace, but I was everywhere and no where at once. Talos was dark that night, but for one brief moment, a there was a brilliant light, that illuminated the sky.

Too Different?

I finally understand what it feels like to lose someone close to you. Strangely enough, it doesn't take their death for it to happen, maybe just the death of an idea. I see now there is more to people than what is on the surface, but the surface is all that really matters. A race that is intrigued with the truth but horrified by it at the same time, I feel like I understand them better than they do themselves. Well maybe some of them.

I felt as though the last week had been the best week of my life, not the life since I had come to earth, but since I was brought into existence. There was a large gathering with many friendly faces, people I had met, I got to know better, and even found out the legendary Celestial endurance was no match for one girl on the dance floor. I found a girl, even though she is a human, is a lot like me when it comes to energy. It is amazing. Another has taken it upon herself to help me understand magic, and maybe even how to use it, her understanding as well as her personality helps so much.. I got to share lunch with a few of my friends, and showed them where I started to work, I felt proud that I could treat them. Someone special to me overcame a great obstacle within herself. I know she thinks I helped, but I know it was her inner strength that brought her through it. I got to team up with a friend who thought I was really powerful, and he even got me some lunch for helping with him. We talked for a long time, he is about as confused as I am, our pasts to an extent aren't that different. I got to go trick or treating with many people, and even ate a bit too much candy on a few occasions. There was another, who I thought couldn't be more different from me, being part human, but mostly machine, but her insight into the world around us... It was the first time I got to talk to someone like that. I hope it won't be the last.

I felt for the first time since I came here almost 8 months ago, that there was future here for me on this planet.

There was another girl though, she meant something different than the others. She was one of the first friendly faces I met when I came here, and she was always around to talk to me when I was feeling alone, like an outcast from these people. She helped me learn so much about people, she may have not always been patient, but just enough so I could understand. I had tried to tell her about how I felt, but with each new person I talked to, I ended up questioning what I should say. I decided that I would finally tell her all that there was to me, and just try to explain it to her anyway. At first, I thought she didn't mind what I real celestial looks like, but when I was forced to change back to my body, something changed in her eyes. She thought I was a lie, to all my friends, my relationships with them were all a lie. I tried to explain how I felt about them, in my mind and taking from my conversation with Aeon, emotions are not bound to your physical form, but instead something much deeper. She finally told me I shouldn't get close to humans, that I am too different from them. I had thought I was placed in this school because everyone here was different, different from what is classically defined as a normal human. I was overwhelmed by my emotions hearing her say this, I tried to tell her how I felt about her, how she was special to me. Since coming here I have lost all ties with my family, my brother who was supposed to be by my side had abandoned me. She was like a Sister to me, but not like a Sister she would know on earth, born of the same parents, but something born out of a friendship over the past months. She had just explained an hour earlier as we walked through the streets of the city, if someone is special to you, sometimes its best to tell them, but they might not feel the same way about you. I underestimated the pain of knowing they don't see you the same way.

It felt like the sister I thought I had, died in front of my eyes tonight, only her parting words were not farewell, instead they were words of hatred and disgust. It made me realize as much as I try to be one of them, I will never know, never understand where feelings like that can come from.

Communication Breakdown?

It seems that life here is nothing more than a series of highs and lows, one after another. I am learning first hand what exactly that means, on each extreme there is something very intense, almost as if your body isn't your own, like you are watching yourself act from outside it. The middle ground, what is usually contentment seems to become almost boring. I know there are chemicals released in the brain that cause these emotions, and they are usually reactions to stimuli, the question becomes, do we begin to seek out stimuli in order to attain these highs and these lows?

I found that after 6 months living off the campus very little had changed inside me, I managed to keep to myself, and went about things in my own way. I felt content with the work I was doing, but missing my family and friends seemed to build up. When I was finally moved on campus, I found that just being around other students more and more created these emotional peaks. The intensity which they present themselves is amazing, yet frightening at times. Tonight for the first time, I found myself in a position I never thought I would. Words were not getting through, communication in their way just wasn't working. We both thought we understood what the other was saying, and I think to an extent both of us were wrong. I was tempted to just open her mind, to show her, to explain to her so many things. Now as I lay here in a bed in the med bay I feel sick to my stomach even thinking about forcing it on her. No words in this language can express how sorry I am for that. I think in the end, we were clear enough with each other, that we had some sort of understanding between the two of us.

It is a painful memory though, one that won't seem to go away, all it takes is a moments thought, and it can all come rushing back in. I have noticed my meditation skills have gotten worse and worse in the time I have been here, however it seems to be replaced with strange visions while I rest. I know them to be dreams, and I have even talked about them with one of the other students. The often seem to be a very confusing blur of reality and fantasy, sometimes they are almost prophetic, just enough so that you begin to wonder about all of them. Which ones will come true by chance, which ones will never happen. These dreams are supposed to contain within them symbols, I believe my next goal to be to find out just what they mean, as they have become much more frequent as well as vivid.

This past week there was a dream of facing my family, I knew them to be so, yet they had no form. It was pretty weird. They were all asking me who I really was, on the inside. I tried to explain to them that nothing had changed, I was still Nova, still their son and their brother. They couldn't seem to understand, as I suddenly had no voice. I tried desperately to explain, but slowly they started to turn their backs on me. It felt like the answer was on the inside, deep inside my stomach. What happened next turned the dream into a nightmare, I awoke almost instantly after, begging for them to stop. It seemed almost prophetic 2 days later, when something so similar happened, and on the third day, I got to relive the part of the nightmare that woke me up. I think though, it was enough to get them, to get her to understand.

Enter the arena, a test against friends!

Tonight was the first time I was asked to enter the Arena, to have a friendly bout with another student at Saint Joe's. All this time here on earth and I had never really looked into it, testing powers out against someone who wasn't putting you in real danger. I suppressed my celestial powers, knowing full well how many villains they had put in the hospitals and opted for my more subtle powers that manifested themselves when my body became completely human. I had wanted to enter this, in order to help others understand where they needed improvement, to help those with a lower security level experience in a safe environment what it meant to carry the title "Hero of the City"

Things didn't go exactly as planned, as I won a little too well. It wasn't by any means that she didn't try, and in my heart I cheered her on the entire time, hoping that somehow she would muster the power to take me down. In the end it wasn't enough, but she did put up an impressive fight. I was happy for her, and how she did, though I ended up making her mad. I didn't know if there was a way I could have really won this match, if I had held back it would have been a hollow victory, if I went all out, she wouldn't have stood much of a chance. After enough talking, we decided next time that I should warn people just who I am, what I am, and what I may be capable of. I was very sorry it happened the way it did, and that she thought in some way I tricked her, but that wasn't the case at all.

In the end I think she was a little sore over it, but at least she didn't hate me for it. We got to talking about stuff, and I explained its not only I am a celestial that makes me different, but I had worked hard creating things that amplify certain aspects of my powers. With such a strong understanding of the way energies work, I was able to create crystals that would better focus energy to certain points, and thus make my abilities even better. In the end, I offered to teach her what I knew about energy, and how to maybe better use her powers, refine them in a way so they are more potent. She said she would think about it, in my heart I really want her to say yes because I think I will learn as much from her as she could from me.

I took the initiative, even though she didn't say yes yet, of trying to find a way to help her focus better, scrounging together some stuff I had picked up along the way, I managed to create a few energy crystals that she can use to focus through.

Floating by not flying.

Last night seemed like a lucid dream, I can remember seeing her there, at first trying to stand toe to toe with him. It must have been 20 feet tall, a blade half its height. There she stood, going blow for blow. Even in my truest form, I could never accomplish anything like that. In previous fights, I had been in awe of her type. The individuals they would go against, truly fearsome. Often though there would be at least 6 of us, if not a full unit of 8, never just two. The organization sent what they could, two more younger heroes like us. There job was to make sure we came through, no matter what the cost. I wish I knew if they were safe right now, I couldn't pick them out amongst the crowds there were too many minds.

I did what I could to keep them in once piece, but I got too close. I only saw it at the last moment, the huge blade coming towards me out of the corner of my eye. I tried to turn to move, but instead I just felt something warm across my back. The armor must have stopped it, because I was flying, floating above them all continuing to focus on weakening him.

I... I was standing but it was like there was no weight there, nothing pulling me down. I went as long as I could, as long as my legs allowed me to stand but in the end I started to float like every weight was lifted off me. The last thing I remember seeing was the titan, what they had called a War-God, falling to his knees. As everything turned to white, I could see her standing over him, she yelled something but there was no voice, no sound. I tried to reach out to tell her to run, but I was suddenly pulled away, like I was floating across an ocean. I could sense her getting further and further away, over the course of what must have been months and months, but in the end she found me. I heard her, but my lips wouldn't move, I just lay there floating, looking though blurry eyes seeing what must have been my own reflection in a mirror. We did it though, and she made the difference.

Looking out on a Sea of Green

I didn't remember waking up, I didn't remember falling asleep, I didn't remember taking to the skies to make my way back to the sea of green.
It was the same place though, it wasn't quiet though like before. There was nothing, no sound, it wasn't right, wasn't natural. My eyes were closed, and would not open, but I knew where I was, the grass was familiar. Long blades causing just a bit of discomfort, but it was all washed away by the smell of the salty breeze. Finally it returned, I could hear them, crashing against the rocks in an almost rhythmic motion, the waves on the beach below. It all made so much sense to be here, right this moment. My mind reminded me however, this isn't where I was, where I last was. Taking a handful of the grass, I remembered the spot well, and confirmed its existence, not sure if I should wake up, or continue to rest.

I just lay there, feeling all there was around me, there was no reason to leave his place. It was like home.

I felt my body want to get up, but I desired so desperately to stay here, to just lay in the warm slightly jagged grass, and hear the waves crash on the beach below.

I felt something warm inside my chest, I could feel it glowing though I could see no light. At once there was a strange static, as I could hear other voices, talking above me, speaking phrases I did not understand. They sounded like they were in a state of panic, a frenzy of words came from all directions, though I could still feel the grass beneath me, and hear the waves crash below me. The light was beginning to grow, it began to pick me up off the ground, I tried as hard as I could to cling to it. It was no use, what started as a warm sensation turned into pain, almost like something was burning inside me. I felt it speed through my veins all at once, then there was an explosion as it washed over my entire body. It slowly started to fade, as I was no longer face down in the grass, instead in a bed, I wasn't sure where I was or what happened, nothing seemed to move though when I tried. It was like my body was there, but it wasn't working. I wanted to panic, but it seemed I couldn't even scream. Slowly it all faded though, back into darkness, as sleep came once more.

A Late Knight

Tonight seemed to be going well enough for a change, no injuries, no broken bones, although a few interruptions with meditation, one more than welcome, it seemed to actually be going well. Sticking with the probation they put me on, I focused my efforts inward, seeking out what seemed now so close.
I wasn't certain what it was, but I knew it to be important, it was something just beneath the surface, calling out in with words I could not understand. There was something missing, something that was not translating quite right.

I broke from my concentration as I felt a familiar energy flying towards me, she brought with her great new, and despite all that had happen this week, it truly lightened my heart. Later, a conversation on a rooftop made me realize some things, things I hadn't though about before. A symbol etched into the concrete over a rising moon made me remember home in a way I hadn't thought about since I got here. Hours seemed to, as they do, just melt away, some of it spent in silence, other in intense conversation, more so than normal from her. It was nothing something to like or dislike, but it was something that was appreciated. It brought about a different perspective of things, as I approached my dorm room, already past curfew I stopped, and turned back towards the Islands of Talos, sure whatever was there, was closer than ever to coming out.

The hours seemed to fade, as I could feel the tug of the moon traveling from first the horizon from which we saw it rise, over my head, and once more beginning to fade. I found myself, once more in that grass that I remember laying in, a blue sky above me seeming to go on endlessly. It had been a while since I felt this good, and this close to home.



It was like an epiphany as I sat there, legs folded, a great truth revealed within. It felt like I was warm, warmer than usual, safe and protected, secure and empowered. I thought back on what I had learned. Charging energy in my hands and releasing it so that it could could those who would hurt my friends. Then concentrating it in my fists for devastating effects. Shaking the very ground they stood on, to shielding myself from harm. Being able to restore myself, and finally others, summoning energy copies of myself to seek out those who would hurt others with malice in their hearts.

Then came the Realms of Power. The first realm, sacrifice. I called the technique Dawn Strike, as it was the dawn of the second day of fighting that I learned the technique, I understood why it is we sacrifice ourselves for others. A wave of light illuminated the area, pushing back the evil that surrounded us, all of my energy was gone, I was defenseless, but those around me were safe.

The second Realm Compassion. To understand we are not merely warriors of destruction, harnessing a great power to cut a path through armies of evil that would oppose the light. It started with an severe injury dealt to a friend. I can remember them falling to their knees, their legs no longer able to support them. My hands began to glow, I knew I had to save him, as his opponent stood above him, the large blade ready to fall. A brilliant flash of light pulsed outward, filling the minds of our foes with the energy of the cosmos overwhelming them, causing them to stagger. Then, my hands changed once more, glowing a strange green. Laying my hands on him with a glowing touch, he was restored, able to return to his feet and finish the battle. It is through compassion that we achieve balance for our warrior spirits.

The third realm Life (Spirit) this lesson was the hardest. During the war, I saw many friends fall to the overwhelming odds. Their bodies pushed over their limits until they expired. Each time, I could feel their spirit drift away, freeing itself of the bonds that held it here, returning to the universe from whence it came. This lesson for me, as well as all people we are only given once chance to learn it. The body is not life, but it merely a shell for it. It is only the spirit, the soul that can know death, the body can merely be broken or destroyed, only to be created again. If the compassion and will to sacrifice are strong enough, the spirit can live on even without the shell. I learned two techniques from this lesson, first to restore my body if it should ever all, and second to shift to my true form, my spiritual form. She calls it "Dayball"

The forth realm : Virtue We are no defined by our abilities, instead we are defined by what we chose to do with them. It took several friends on here on Earth to help me learn and understand this. Through them, I see the nature of power in a different light. To dedicate your life to power, even if it is to protect your friends, still neglects your friends. Finding your strength in them, rather than yourself is the key. I remember hearing stories of humans and their great potential, so many of them make sense now.

The fifth Realm : Understanding, or rather wanting to understand. The pursuit of knowledge is not nearly enough, but instead the desire to listen. To care beyond you own advancement, to understand more than the mechanical and physical elements to someone ore something. From this, I learned to listen to my Brother, teaching me something more from the 6 realm. A shifting Art. I took from this the ability to become an energy beast, to finally stand side by side heroes like Sam and Stasis.

The traditional ceremony wasn't held, nor did I even see it coming, but a start seemed to shot across the sky seeming to seek me out, only to strike me in the chest. When I awoke from meditation I found myself back on the islands, the armor of my people suddenly protecting me. I understood, I had become a Celestial Knight. What came with it was a strange sense of clarity and calm, an assurance that everything was and will be okay in its own way.



Finally with this power, I finally learned how he does it, the gate ways, not just ours, but those around us. They suddenly call out and I understand just how he can use them, at least in some of the ways he does.



For now though it has been a very long day, and classes come early. For the first time in several months now, I am looking forward to all of it, classes and everything that lies before me.

Thoughts of my New Home

Humans are creatures supposedly born into strife leading a life filled with one struggle after another, it is what is supposed to give them their incredible drive. Honestly, I am starting to doubt this notion, I think at some point there is a conscious choice where each and everyone decided for themselves. Will they enjoy themselves, will they have fun, in spite of the trials around them, or will they actively seek out difficulty, even in moments of rest. It seems as though the friends I have made are split down the middle, 3 of them seeming to enjoy the moment, while the other 3 choose to seek out difficulty. I can't say either choice is right, and I don't think there is a right one from a universal perspective. I find myself wishing those other 3, would join in an try to enjoy the precious gift that is their life, or even their second chance at it... As their friend though, I can only ask...

I find myself in a strange, but very welcome position of becoming close with someone. A girl, a human, who doesn't quite seem like the others, it is almost frightening how when I am around her, my mind is not constantly dedicated to thoughts of home. When I am close to her, I realize that it goes even further, I find with every part of my being, I am happy to be here on this planet, in this time, around these people. It is difficult to explain in words, as looking back on it, it feels as though that notion would be one of betrayal to the friends and family I left behind. Looking in my heart though, that feeling never comes, instead there is an overwhelming calm that has not been present since before I left.


Beyond the stuff above, I had the time of my life tonight, even back home I can't remember having this much fun with someone else. There were so many students all moving to rhythms some with eyes on someone special to them, others with eyes of warm friendship, simply enjoying the moment.

Realization

I had been taking it easy this past week, letting my body recover, making sure to stay safe so all could go well at the dance. In the end it paid off, I could feel with each day of rest, each night of slight, dreams of friends and family, brought peace to the storm that seem to be so often inside me.

Today, it was time to get back into it. Realizing no longer to dive in head first, but prepare, physically and mentally for the challenges ahead. A classmate needed help with a rather difficult missions, and I agreed to help where I could. It had been quite some time since I had gone against foes with this large of a gap between their power and mine, it was a constant strain to hold even single foes. Using what I had, we managed rather well to handle what was before us, as I realized not only how strong I had become, but how well some of us were starting to work together.

Later that night, warming myself back up by the fire with friends, I decided to meditate some more for the day, to see if I could reach this goal that seemed so close inside my mind. I once again traveled to the fictional world my brain had created. A grand room, white granite tiles on the floor, a pattern of black ones spread through out. Giant stone pillars seeming to support the structure. On the wall, hung oil paintings each representing a different facet of myself. It was where I went during meditation, to in a sense study what I saw. When an understanding was reached, something strange always happened.

There was one painting I had done my best to avoid, it was an image of the other side to my psychic powers, that darker half that feeds on the fear, the mistrust, the deception of others. Since it last broke through, I had done everything to suppress it, but I could feel each time it came close to releasing, to taking over, there was a sharp increase in my abilities, but it seemed to always take so much out of me. Like the faucets that controlled my flow of energy were left wide open and quickly drained of their reserves. I had been trying something different lately, to leave it on, just flowing everywhere without focus, to have it constantly drain away making if anything very poor use of it. It wasn't without purpose though, as the extreme strain of the after noon would later explain. It seemed as though the energy continued to spill out, but my reserves which once were so small seemed to have been barely tapped. All this time, I had been letting it out, as much as I could as fast as I could, and finally as I meditated, inside my mind, I approached the painting, reaching out to touch it in an instant, I was sucked inside. It was so dark, so cold inside, stepping from inside the shadows stood that side I had tried so hard to bury. "Nova" he called out "It is time you focus, their energy as well as yours, focus it into an edge as if it were a blade, and use it "

I found myself standing in a river, still inside a meditative state. The water was a strange almost pink color. The current was slow and calm, but I saw in my reflection my face. The scar from the Ritki wasn't there. Looking back up, I could feel the time passing, the weeks I had spent in this sate, each day the flow of the river getting stronger and stronger. There were times when I almost slipped under the current, I could see my reflection changed to the dark one, as he was just waiting for my head to go under. I stood firm, standing against it, now starting to panic as the flow was getting too strong. It wasn't something I could outlast, instead it was sure to over take me, letting out all the dark thought inside and around me. I saw him not in the water this time, but hovering above the current looking down "You stand strong against the force of the river, that was your training, but the river is not a force you outlast, unless you can channel its energy it will drag you under"

I shifted my body to the side, narrowing the surface area "Focus it, like a blade" I remembered him saying. It became much easier to stand, a wide stance and a smaller area to be pushed by the water I knew I could hold out much longer. Moving into my field of vision, he laughed in my direction laughing as he looked down. "You are a celestial, you stand in the current, the direct flow, and yet you can not harness it?" I always hated the mocking tone, but he was right. This was not something I would out last, but how could I harness it? The answer was right in front of me, or more specifically all around me. I was first standing against it, then standing in it, it was not a stream of water, only a metaphor inside my mind. I began to relax letting myself drift down the swift current. At first there was panic, as I could feel him right below me ready to come out, but then there was calm as I floated along on my back seeming to just keep m head out of the water.

At once I awoke to find myself sitting by the fire, only all alone now, everyone else going to sleep who knows how long before. I felt strange though, like there was literally something surging through me. I slowly stood, feeling like the gates had been closed, and everything was cut off. It was strange, the immense build up seemed to occur so quickly. As I started to open them once more, strange things began to happen, at first it was some of the small pieced of stone on the floor began to rattle and vibrate, it felt like I had barely opened them. More and more as they began to open things around me seemed to become more violent. Small bits of rock were floating off the floor as it felt like the river was turning into a flood. I could see around me even the giant stone blocks began to life off the floor shaking as they did, finally the flood turned into what felt to be a tidal wave, as I could actually begin to see pure psionic energy manifest itself. All at once the pieces fell to the floor things seeming to shake if just for a second. It felt like the flood wasn't stopping, it just continued to pour down, but there was no resistance against it. I went to move towards the exit of the building, but as I took my first step I found I was already there. Had things really moved that fast?



I had to see just what this feeling as all about. Moving to Peregrine in what felt like a blur, I came across what is called here a Warhulk and with good reason. A mechanical construct weighted down not only by its sheer bulk and armor, but a large tank of liquid which contains the pilot. Easily they could weigh a thousand pounds. Approaching one, I simply walked up to it, feeling the energy pour of of my hands, I motioned to it. Like a child tosses a ball into the air it left the ground flying upwards nearly twice my height. I could see the look in the what ever piloted the thing, sheer shock as for a split second it seemed to hover reaching its apex. All at once, another simple motion brought it crashing back down, a terrible sound as pavement cracked along with the mixture of machine and man. I jumped back on the defensive to wait for it to get back up, but it only lay their motionless in a small crater. It was then I came to the realization of what title this body carried with it really meant. Ascended.

Chapter 20 : Final Good Bye

((This post would technically be before the first post in this journal, but just imagine you the reader have been flipping through the pages picking out stories at random!))

I am writing this as they transport me to the easter temple to be transported to my new home with my brother. Gabriel... Darkstar... is watching me write shaking his head, but we smiled to each other because even though we are leaving our friends and mom and dad behind, we will still have each other. And honestly if have him, I think I will be okay without her.


Luminara and I said goodbye for the last time, and I already miss her but all I need do is close my eyes and I can see that last smile she gave me as I looked down over the edge, seeing the her there in the lowest pool of water at the end of the falls. I remember telling her that one day I would come back, and jump for her....

Her last words still have yet to settle in me though, "Find happiness in another, in this life time it was not meant to be for us. Dwell on me as you friend, because that is what I am and will always be.... You goof" As I turned to walk away, I could sense she was crying, but I could not tell why, there was sadness, but such joy in her. I made a promise to myself that one day, I would return, and I would not be afraid to jump, that I would learn to do it through what she said to me.

I can see the temple now, its getting closer and closer, I can already feel that I am moving further and further away from home. In my mind though, I see her wading in that pool of water, waiting for me to run back to the edge and just jump. I only wander, if I am to learn to jump on this place called earth, who will be down their waiting for me?