Les Em Moi Tranquile
By Jaque H. LaFeyette
As I sit at my laptop, I ask myself several questons. These questions are the standard questions that all men as themselves. WHo am I? What am I? Does she like me? If the computer is a eletric brain where does its soul lay? Some questions like that. It is with this writting that I hope to make sense of what troubles me. I am intentionally writting this in the public archives in the school, So I might donate something of myself to Saint Joe's. As the song goes, I am not from here, I just live here.
Now this entry will be my first offical entry into the records. So be prepard, I will not use harsh language, Bu I will speak as plainly as I can. While my accent might make me sound like an ignorant person, I am always reminded of what was said by countless pepole. Its not what you call me but what I answer to. So far no names called execpt for weird. WHich is something I am alright with being called.
Anyway my initial take on the pepoe I have met so far are this. They are in no particular order execpt how I am thinking right now. As I said my goal here is to be honest as I can with myself. If I offend any reader, then accept my appologies as a gentleman. I do not mean to.do or any anything inappropriate.
Renn:
Talk about an enigma wrapped inside a ridde. She carries herself she comes from money, and seems to want to care. But there is also alot of pain in that ione. Pain or guilt I dont know. All I know is I want to be her friend aybe more. But she needs to let somebody in. We all need somebody we can turn to. I am made out of partial stone, So I hope to be the rock she can build herself upon.
Billy:
Man if anybody deserves the honorary black man award its him. We talked a few nights ago, And man what a connection we made. I think he is the cosest thing I have to a best friend here at the school. If he would only show up more I think we could get into alot of trouble, have some crazy fun while at it. I need a buddy I can roll with.
Kai:
Another guy on my list of friend. A little weird, but man he is kind of cool to hang around with. Just wish he wouldn't be so down on himself. I guess I would be kind of if I ran around with the goat horns and the like.. But if he wnts fun. He should change his name to Baccus and say he is from italy. Have a little bit of fun.
Arthur:
Man if there was anybody at the school I would ever want to be like it would be him. He is quiet but him and I have the same noble good intentions at least from what I see. Good fellow, I should make it a point to hang out with him more often.
Rick:
Earns my respect for last night. He came dressed as Frank SInatra. That was cool. He reminds me a little of my brother back home. Crazy and willing to do whatever to have alot of fun. Gonna have to make it a point to hang around him some more.
Ligdia:
A great girl. She confuses me alot. One minuite she seems to be my friend the next minuite she is flirting. I really am liking her company. She seems to have a good head on her shoulder. I think. I tried HONKin her, and it seems to make her smile. Which makes me glad. I like making folks smile as much as I can.
Kali:
Like Renn another gal who I think I could se emyself liking alot. Shewas the victim of my first HONK! She needs to smile and as I said I make it my lifes mission to make everybody I can smile. Man,woman.. boy or girl. We all gotta laugh right?
These are some of mah immeditate thoughts. I have gotten to know hese pepole a little. Most everybody is usually doin there own thing. Thats never a bad thing though. I am the product of my enviorment as are we all. Sunect to loves and hates, desires and dreams. I consider everybody at this school the brothers and sisters I always wanted to have. Even the dead woman who did nothing but insult me when I asked her to dance.
My ony thought on that is there is never an execuse for bad manners I come from a poor background, I hav lived a life where I too suffer from guilt and self doubt.But again I am not overly judgemental. So thats her thing more power to her. Maybe she can find a nice vampire to meet?
Now onto my favorite subject myself. Ego and me are good aquantices if not downright twins. So that being said here are my thoughts on myself... And I am always my harshest crittic.
Jaque:
My thoughts on me. Well, I am adjusting okay, as okay as I can be. I find my attention being split, And I am liking alot of girls. I really wish I could get some sort of sign that they ike me back. But as my Uncle Ernie tells me, woman look at a man like a flowerin bloom, and when they have blossomed to the color and smell they like, The man will be picked and with luck pressed into the book of love to be kept for al times.
Those are some mighty prety words. My Uncle s always good at words like that. He went to college and is a Army Ranger. I admire that. He has always been a source of great comfort and love for me. Whenever I have needed advice he has been there. I am not close with my dad. Sometimes I wish Ernie was my father. But thats that Emo bullthunder that Billy says I should avoid.
But as I said, I am adjusting okay. I dont always understand what alot of the yankee talk is about. But I fake it. I fake it as best as I can. I am here to learn as much as I can about life, about living and with luck a little love. I ant what any person my age does. I can oly hope I find it here.
This concludes the end of my first entry of my journal, Which with luck will be turned into memiors down the road. For posterity, for knowledge, for what is to come.
Jaque LaFeyette
Saturday, May 5th 2007
(As Always I encourage feedback makes me feel like pepole have interest in what I am doing)
Les Em Moi Tranquile (Aka Inside of Me Peace)
Moderator: Student Council
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JaqueHammer
Second Entry
Last night I learned a great lesson. It was about being grown up, and having the mental fortitude and love of myself. The lesson was simple. I love life. Not in the sense that I don't wan't to die. I eventually ish death, Its a reward for a good live, Its also a punishment for a wikedly led, unrepentant life. But my lesson is simple, I am very comfortable with being happy.
I cannot believe how man depressed pepole are here? I lik everybody. But there has to be a point where one has to rea;ize sure we all have had bad things happen. But we also have amazing gifts and talents. If we embrace these as gifts and do the right thing, then I think we can prove that we are not a branch of humankind that is mourning themselves.
When I die, I want to be like Eliajah, being taken to heaven in a feiry charriot, or even if its an end like grandads. When the Saints come to carry me home I do not want to be mourned. I want to be celebrated with party after party, Loud music. Maybe a statue.
These northerners, nothing like them anywhere back home. ome of the folks here seem like something that the blues musicians back home dream of. But personally I listen to the blues so I don't have to sing them.
Life is partially about interuptation. About being sad that roses have thorns. Or bein happy that roses have a great smell to them. Thats my lesson for Sunday. Content in who you ae and love for what you do. Now my only nearest goal is to find a gal.
I realized I also have alot of love to give. Not just in the physical sense. But in the suportive, hold hand and grow old together kind of way. There are a few gals I really like in that manner. So far though I hav baied my hook with the heart, shut my brain off and let that take me to whatever t catches.
Jaque H. LaFeyette
Sunday, May 6th 2007
Last night I learned a great lesson. It was about being grown up, and having the mental fortitude and love of myself. The lesson was simple. I love life. Not in the sense that I don't wan't to die. I eventually ish death, Its a reward for a good live, Its also a punishment for a wikedly led, unrepentant life. But my lesson is simple, I am very comfortable with being happy.
I cannot believe how man depressed pepole are here? I lik everybody. But there has to be a point where one has to rea;ize sure we all have had bad things happen. But we also have amazing gifts and talents. If we embrace these as gifts and do the right thing, then I think we can prove that we are not a branch of humankind that is mourning themselves.
When I die, I want to be like Eliajah, being taken to heaven in a feiry charriot, or even if its an end like grandads. When the Saints come to carry me home I do not want to be mourned. I want to be celebrated with party after party, Loud music. Maybe a statue.
These northerners, nothing like them anywhere back home. ome of the folks here seem like something that the blues musicians back home dream of. But personally I listen to the blues so I don't have to sing them.
Life is partially about interuptation. About being sad that roses have thorns. Or bein happy that roses have a great smell to them. Thats my lesson for Sunday. Content in who you ae and love for what you do. Now my only nearest goal is to find a gal.
I realized I also have alot of love to give. Not just in the physical sense. But in the suportive, hold hand and grow old together kind of way. There are a few gals I really like in that manner. So far though I hav baied my hook with the heart, shut my brain off and let that take me to whatever t catches.
Jaque H. LaFeyette
Sunday, May 6th 2007
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JaqueHammer
Sunday aka WHY I AM GLAD ITS OVER
As the song goees, its tough to be a pimp. I am trying to be a good role model. Not just for myself, But for mutant kind, And for the brothas and sistas out there. I am going to go off on a diatribe here, I might sound like an angry black militant but if you are reading this then you probablly know me.
Name me one black superhero? Only one I can think of is Black Panther. Okay two.. There ws also the Green Lantern on he tv shows. Well Storm too.. Bishop. But thats about it. I go my sneaky suspicions about the Martian Manhunter.
I look at each of these and my thought are:
Storm
Halle Berry, thats some nice eye candy. That aside what did she do for the team? Not a whole lot Make it rain Every decession she made she had to check in with Cyclops or The Professor, or give up the reigns when Wolverine showed up? But Halle Berry man.. Wow, nice.
Bishop
Don't get me started on him. From the future he came firt time a guy is a mesiahish fellow and what happens, the future changes so he vanishes. Man life sucked for him then
Black Panther
Thats right name yourself after not just an animal thats dangerous, But one of the most militant groups in the US. To me thats like creating a guy nammed "The Ghost" and tossing him in a clansman looking outfit! I mean come on! Thats more racist then Appache Chief!
Martian Manhunter
Now he was the the Appache Chief if his day, If not more useless. I can't think of many times he ws let out to do much of anything execpt clean up, Chop firewood. Thats right chop firewood. In a chirstmas issuie him AND somebody else, I want to say Appache Chief were sent to go fight a tree monster. *sighs*
Alright all kidding aside I am getting distracted, I met a few new folks last night. We got to talk and they listened to me go on and on. I also rolled with Stasis, I wish she would take a flipping compliment? But you know what. I know too many pepole in real life that insecure about themselves. She is seeing a guyalready. Not sure why he doen't tell her? But I am not gonna be Emo about it. Gonna be my Richard Roundtree badbone self, And Shaft my way through things.
Cause if I was gonna be like any hero out there. Thats the guy to be like. So far I have delivered 10 times out of 10. And I am tall, dark and very handsome. So for now Jaque is going to ride his ROFLMAOCopter and get some sleep. Until tommorow.
And this kast thought... Sam is awesome!
HONK!
Jaque
As the song goees, its tough to be a pimp. I am trying to be a good role model. Not just for myself, But for mutant kind, And for the brothas and sistas out there. I am going to go off on a diatribe here, I might sound like an angry black militant but if you are reading this then you probablly know me.
Name me one black superhero? Only one I can think of is Black Panther. Okay two.. There ws also the Green Lantern on he tv shows. Well Storm too.. Bishop. But thats about it. I go my sneaky suspicions about the Martian Manhunter.
I look at each of these and my thought are:
Storm
Halle Berry, thats some nice eye candy. That aside what did she do for the team? Not a whole lot Make it rain Every decession she made she had to check in with Cyclops or The Professor, or give up the reigns when Wolverine showed up? But Halle Berry man.. Wow, nice.
Bishop
Don't get me started on him. From the future he came firt time a guy is a mesiahish fellow and what happens, the future changes so he vanishes. Man life sucked for him then
Black Panther
Thats right name yourself after not just an animal thats dangerous, But one of the most militant groups in the US. To me thats like creating a guy nammed "The Ghost" and tossing him in a clansman looking outfit! I mean come on! Thats more racist then Appache Chief!
Martian Manhunter
Now he was the the Appache Chief if his day, If not more useless. I can't think of many times he ws let out to do much of anything execpt clean up, Chop firewood. Thats right chop firewood. In a chirstmas issuie him AND somebody else, I want to say Appache Chief were sent to go fight a tree monster. *sighs*
Alright all kidding aside I am getting distracted, I met a few new folks last night. We got to talk and they listened to me go on and on. I also rolled with Stasis, I wish she would take a flipping compliment? But you know what. I know too many pepole in real life that insecure about themselves. She is seeing a guyalready. Not sure why he doen't tell her? But I am not gonna be Emo about it. Gonna be my Richard Roundtree badbone self, And Shaft my way through things.
Cause if I was gonna be like any hero out there. Thats the guy to be like. So far I have delivered 10 times out of 10. And I am tall, dark and very handsome. So for now Jaque is going to ride his ROFLMAOCopter and get some sleep. Until tommorow.
And this kast thought... Sam is awesome!
HONK!
Jaque
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JaqueHammer
Patroling!
So I am patroling the streets inKings Row. I am wearin a nondesript back suit. What happens to me? I get shot. Thats right shot! In the head. Right in my memory storin beautiful head. I am lucky the skull is tough and I am not a whinny person.
So I go to get some reinforcements, I get Fastil. Him and I spend the next hour hunting down Hellions in the area. If things weren't that bad. I scuffed my gators in a fight. You might say "Jaque they are only shoes?" All I can say is "Screw off! They are gators!"
So after a little payback, I dcide maybe I can go and study, Some idiot comes up to me. He claims he is from Atlantis or some weird place like that. he then asks me if the Watermelon in town is any good. I had to beat him senseless. Pulled the guy to he top of Atlas, and we fought. Man I love the Haymaker. one hit send him flying.
That asde, I just had to say Raph and I, I think we are starting to get one another. At first I really didn't like him. Thought he was an emo a-hole, just doing things for attention. Then I ealized guy probablly just needs a friend or two? Any case he is alright i my book.
Anyway I think todays theme is understanding yourself a little better. At least thats what I am gonna try to pull as I go out on Patrol again. Maybe go check out that new arab owned place in Kings Row. maybe I can buy a smoke or two?
Hell don't we all?
So I am patroling the streets inKings Row. I am wearin a nondesript back suit. What happens to me? I get shot. Thats right shot! In the head. Right in my memory storin beautiful head. I am lucky the skull is tough and I am not a whinny person.
So I go to get some reinforcements, I get Fastil. Him and I spend the next hour hunting down Hellions in the area. If things weren't that bad. I scuffed my gators in a fight. You might say "Jaque they are only shoes?" All I can say is "Screw off! They are gators!"
So after a little payback, I dcide maybe I can go and study, Some idiot comes up to me. He claims he is from Atlantis or some weird place like that. he then asks me if the Watermelon in town is any good. I had to beat him senseless. Pulled the guy to he top of Atlas, and we fought. Man I love the Haymaker. one hit send him flying.
That asde, I just had to say Raph and I, I think we are starting to get one another. At first I really didn't like him. Thought he was an emo a-hole, just doing things for attention. Then I ealized guy probablly just needs a friend or two? Any case he is alright i my book.
Anyway I think todays theme is understanding yourself a little better. At least thats what I am gonna try to pull as I go out on Patrol again. Maybe go check out that new arab owned place in Kings Row. maybe I can buy a smoke or two?
Hell don't we all?
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JaqueHammer
My Grandmama and I had breakfast this morning. She is a great woman. A whole lot of woman. But a good woman. She made me benyays and a good old fashioned spnish omelete. The coffee was excellent as well.
She told me that I would learn alot here. She also said I get a door closed and a window opened a few times. She has some mumbo jumbo that she practices, Not sure if I believed it. At least until today. Well late last night.
A gentlemen never kisses and tells, so I will just say I kissed a girl last ight. It ws nice. First time I have kissed one. I will never admit it publically that it was my first kiss. Jaque go an image to matain.
I really need to bug Fastil to join the school. He keeps sayin in "Elf years" He is younger then I am. But I think his is closer to the Queen of Alantis's age. Don't know I am not that well knowldged in math.
Today I am going to try to learn a little more about myself.
She told me that I would learn alot here. She also said I get a door closed and a window opened a few times. She has some mumbo jumbo that she practices, Not sure if I believed it. At least until today. Well late last night.
A gentlemen never kisses and tells, so I will just say I kissed a girl last ight. It ws nice. First time I have kissed one. I will never admit it publically that it was my first kiss. Jaque go an image to matain.
I really need to bug Fastil to join the school. He keeps sayin in "Elf years" He is younger then I am. But I think his is closer to the Queen of Alantis's age. Don't know I am not that well knowldged in math.
Today I am going to try to learn a little more about myself.
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JaqueHammer
Dark Clouds
What a bad day I am having. I can't seem to talk right without upsetting folks. I can't be quiet and not upst pepole. So I am gonna give up. Maybe keep to myself.
I try flirting with girls, but most gals are either taken, only interested in one another or generally see me as a friend. I tried talking to Uncle Ernie about this, But I dont think he will understand me? Heck I dont understand me sometimes?
As for right now, I am sittin on a rooftop contemplating what to do next. what do I do next?
What a bad day I am having. I can't seem to talk right without upsetting folks. I can't be quiet and not upst pepole. So I am gonna give up. Maybe keep to myself.
I try flirting with girls, but most gals are either taken, only interested in one another or generally see me as a friend. I tried talking to Uncle Ernie about this, But I dont think he will understand me? Heck I dont understand me sometimes?
As for right now, I am sittin on a rooftop contemplating what to do next. what do I do next?
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JaqueHammer
Last Entry
Man I was in a bad mood last night. Sat with a friend and did some soul searchin. I realized a few things about myself...
I am eager to be friendly.
Sometimes I try too hard to be liked.
Sometimes my overfriendliness is seen as romantic overatures.
I like to make pepole laugh and feel good about themselves
I love to have fun.
With these things I found, I just need to focus myself. Take these traits and make them something good. Something better, something tangible.
Man I was in a bad mood last night. Sat with a friend and did some soul searchin. I realized a few things about myself...
I am eager to be friendly.
Sometimes I try too hard to be liked.
Sometimes my overfriendliness is seen as romantic overatures.
I like to make pepole laugh and feel good about themselves
I love to have fun.
With these things I found, I just need to focus myself. Take these traits and make them something good. Something better, something tangible.
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JaqueHammer
Odd Day
I had three rather odd meetings today:
Summer
Inside a cave of all places, She rattles off her life story. Now I don't mind. In fact I love to meet pepole. makes me feel like I am gnuinly fitting in. But wow, She was on and on about how she had no frind and how cursed she is. I think I am gonna try to reach out to her. Kind of like how I tried reaching out to Issac. Maybe this will turn out a little better?
Lydia
Now this was the perplexing one, She said she wanted to talk to me. And when she got there, I was talking with Stasis and Kali and wow, She was quiet to a fault. Which I wonder what she wanted? She listened to me talk and then ran off before we could tlk about what was bothering her.
Stasis
Then there was the night where Stasis and I hung out. Kali was there too. It was nice, But we ran the gambit on weirdness. Stasis and I, well I firmly believe when they made us our molds were crafted by the same person. She is cheerful, Like the sister I always wanted?
I had three rather odd meetings today:
Summer
Inside a cave of all places, She rattles off her life story. Now I don't mind. In fact I love to meet pepole. makes me feel like I am gnuinly fitting in. But wow, She was on and on about how she had no frind and how cursed she is. I think I am gonna try to reach out to her. Kind of like how I tried reaching out to Issac. Maybe this will turn out a little better?
Lydia
Now this was the perplexing one, She said she wanted to talk to me. And when she got there, I was talking with Stasis and Kali and wow, She was quiet to a fault. Which I wonder what she wanted? She listened to me talk and then ran off before we could tlk about what was bothering her.
Stasis
Then there was the night where Stasis and I hung out. Kali was there too. It was nice, But we ran the gambit on weirdness. Stasis and I, well I firmly believe when they made us our molds were crafted by the same person. She is cheerful, Like the sister I always wanted?
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JaqueHammer
Truth in Beauty
Lydia said she wanted to talk to me a day or two ago. After a long and drawn out waiting peroid shetalked with me for a few minuites. She appologized over something trival that happened like two weeks ago.
I don't think she was telling me the truth. In fact I still think there is something more to it then that? There has to be. Two of my friends gave me an idea of what it could be, But I doubt what I am thinking is actually the case.
Then I bumped into a catgirl. Thats right another catgirl! Man why are there so many? Now I never ave been one to tell anybody how they should love. But I don't see the attraction? I would be too afraid of like contracting fline lukemia or hookworm or something like that?
But thats Jaque' rant. He only knows whats good for Jaque. Others results may varry.
Lydia said she wanted to talk to me a day or two ago. After a long and drawn out waiting peroid shetalked with me for a few minuites. She appologized over something trival that happened like two weeks ago.
I don't think she was telling me the truth. In fact I still think there is something more to it then that? There has to be. Two of my friends gave me an idea of what it could be, But I doubt what I am thinking is actually the case.
Then I bumped into a catgirl. Thats right another catgirl! Man why are there so many? Now I never ave been one to tell anybody how they should love. But I don't see the attraction? I would be too afraid of like contracting fline lukemia or hookworm or something like that?
But thats Jaque' rant. He only knows whats good for Jaque. Others results may varry.
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JaqueHammer
Man today was just weird,
I kept getting my butt kicked. Not just a little, But all over the place. Liggy acted weird, and I mean weirder then her dead self normally is. That gal confuses me, More then Lydia does...
I also entered a costume contest. I cam up with a brilliantly creative COlonel Sanders outfit. I even looked like the guy. I didn't even place. Everybody with a pair of wings did though!
Makes me want to coat em in 11 herbs and spices!
Seriously I aint bitter, There must be a bad moon risin or somethin. Anyway off to evening mass!
I kept getting my butt kicked. Not just a little, But all over the place. Liggy acted weird, and I mean weirder then her dead self normally is. That gal confuses me, More then Lydia does...
I also entered a costume contest. I cam up with a brilliantly creative COlonel Sanders outfit. I even looked like the guy. I didn't even place. Everybody with a pair of wings did though!
Makes me want to coat em in 11 herbs and spices!
Seriously I aint bitter, There must be a bad moon risin or somethin. Anyway off to evening mass!
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JaqueHammer
Closures
Spoke with Renn today and got a really late, I don't wanna be with you speech. It stung alot. Maks me think there might be something wrong with me. Then I thought about it.
I think she has alot of emotional bagage right now and need her space. Either that or she found somebody else she likes better. But this week has been alotta goodbyes. Ligdia, Renn, Anna from back home, Lotta girls are not being a constant.
But there is this one, The one I kissed. She is great, I made her soem food the other day. She seemed genuinly touched which is good, cause thats what I was after. I can only hope that something works out for ole Jaque.
But why is she fibbing to me? She is awfully, and I mean awfully thin. I always have to pratically force feed her. And now I am worried for her ontop of it all.
Renn lies to me, Ligdia lies to me, But I never thought she would. And it hurts alot more then I thought it would. She is not perfec, But she is my angel.
Spoke with Renn today and got a really late, I don't wanna be with you speech. It stung alot. Maks me think there might be something wrong with me. Then I thought about it.
I think she has alot of emotional bagage right now and need her space. Either that or she found somebody else she likes better. But this week has been alotta goodbyes. Ligdia, Renn, Anna from back home, Lotta girls are not being a constant.
But there is this one, The one I kissed. She is great, I made her soem food the other day. She seemed genuinly touched which is good, cause thats what I was after. I can only hope that something works out for ole Jaque.
But why is she fibbing to me? She is awfully, and I mean awfully thin. I always have to pratically force feed her. And now I am worried for her ontop of it all.
Renn lies to me, Ligdia lies to me, But I never thought she would. And it hurts alot more then I thought it would. She is not perfec, But she is my angel.