Roxy sat down on her bed and crossed her legs as she rummaged through her shopping bags. She pulled out a bunch of new stationary and put that aside as she continue to look through her bags till she finally pulled out a small hard bound book. Adding that to the pile of new stationary, she put all the other items back into the bags and hid them under her bed. Quickly turning her attention back to the book, she grabbed one of her new pens and flipped open the cover to the first page.
'Um... I haven't done this before... But, um... It can't be that hard...' Roxy thought as she stared at the blank page before her. She tapped the pen to her lip as she got lost in thought still staring at the page. Her gaze slowly moved from the page to a collection of papers that were her school assignments to hand in after winter break.
'Oh! I know now!' She proudly thought as she brought ink to the page. With flowing and very clean handwriting she wrote on the page, My Thoughts, the diary of Kairi Sato.
Roxy turned the page and once again began staring at a blank page. 'Um... Well I guess now... I have to write stuff...'
Again she put the pen to the page and wrote on the top line the date. Pausing once again, she began to let her mind wander as she stared at the blank page. Looking around her room, she let her attention focus on her new toy that sat on the bed staring happily at her.
"What do you think Mr. Wiggles?" Roxy asked as she reached for the plushie penguin and gave it a small hug. She looked at the penguin for a moment and gave a quick nod. "Your right, just write what happened today."
December 23rd, 2006
This is my first entry in my first diary. I went out today and picked up the stuff needed for it while I was finishing up my other errands. I guess I should start at why I decided to start writing this...
I decided to start writing a diary cause I've never done it and I can later read what I wrote to know what thoughts were actually mine. Being able to hear everyones thoughts at times is very annoying and I sometimes get confused as to which are actually mine, but now it will be easier I hope. That's why I'm calling it 'My Thoughts', I thought it was pretty original...
I decided to do this yesterday when I was running about trying to get in shape for cheerleading. The book that I got from Cricket is really helpful and I think I'm really getting used to the physical stuff but... I'm a little worried at the whole vocal part. I'm not good at public speaking... Oh right, I made the cheerleading squad! That's why I'm working on all that stuff now, cause I'm on the team with Cricket and I want to make sure that I show her that I can do it. Oh, I got off track...
So I was running around and I saw this really cute penguin plushie in the window. So I went inside and while I was looking around I saw other really cute plushies too, but I only had enough money for one, cause I still had other stuff to get. So I bought the really cute penguin and named him Mr. Wiggles! He's not really big but he's really cute! I showed him to Kali and she liked him. Kali is another girl here at the school who like plushies and she said that I could come over to her room and see all hers. She has a big turtle one that she said is as big as a pillow. I want to see that!
So after getting Mr. Wiggles, I went to another store and got some things to help cheer up Cricket. She's been down lately, so I'm trying to cheer her up too, and in that same store I picked up my diary book and some pretty pens for writing in it. Then I went back to my other errands and found the rest of the things I needed.
I also talked to Stasis, she said she didn't want to be part of the cheerleading squad and that it was Francis' way of teasing her. So I offered to ask if she could get taken off. But when I talked with Francis it left me more confused... I don't know much about Francis. I know she's my room mate, and that she's a witch. She also said she's a goth and a pagan, but I'm still not sure what that means. When she explained it to me, I still was confused but I figured I would ask her anyways about Stasis, but she said she was gonna take care of it, and that Stasis could easily make people stop picking on her. So I'm not sure if that helped...
I haven't really talked with Matt much, but I met a friend of his, and she passed a message onto him from me. Maybe I'll see him on Christmas!
Oh! That's right, this will be my first Christmas that I can celebrate. So, that was also part of the rest of my errands. I picked up a bunch of stuff for that, but I'll write about it later. I need to get some sleep, its been a long day and I have lots of things I need to do tomorrow.
Closing the book, Roxy looked up to Mr. Wiggles and smiled, "Well that wasn't so hard, was it Mr. Wiggles?"
Roxy tilted her head curiously at the penguin plushie and the gave it another hug, "Okay, first sleep! We have things we need to do tomorrow Mr. Wiggles, lots of things!"
Grabbing the book, Roxy looked about the room for a safe place to hide her diary. Finally finding a sneaky place to hide her diary, Roxy quickly grabbed Mr. Wiggles and got ready for bed.
My Thoughts
Moderator: Student Council
December 24th, 2006
Today I got up really early and decorated my room all Christmas like. It wasn't much but I think it turned out nice... Next year I'll get more stuff, but right now it looks nice! I also wrapped up the presents I bought... I didn't have a lot of money so I got some simple stuff...
I got Saskia a gift certificate for some of that stuff she uses to keep herself fit. The guy at Image Inc. suggested it since I didn't know what she likes. For Cricket, I got her a Owl plushie, she never mentioned that she likes owls but I heard it in her thoughts one time, I hope she doesn't get upset... And I couldn't really think of what to get Matt so I got him a picture of me and him enlarged and put in a nice frame. There was also a special at the photo place, so I got another two pictures and frames and decorated them nice for Saskia and Cricket.
I hope they like them... I'm not very good at figuring out what to get... Oh! I think I heard Cricket!
Today I got up really early and decorated my room all Christmas like. It wasn't much but I think it turned out nice... Next year I'll get more stuff, but right now it looks nice! I also wrapped up the presents I bought... I didn't have a lot of money so I got some simple stuff...
I got Saskia a gift certificate for some of that stuff she uses to keep herself fit. The guy at Image Inc. suggested it since I didn't know what she likes. For Cricket, I got her a Owl plushie, she never mentioned that she likes owls but I heard it in her thoughts one time, I hope she doesn't get upset... And I couldn't really think of what to get Matt so I got him a picture of me and him enlarged and put in a nice frame. There was also a special at the photo place, so I got another two pictures and frames and decorated them nice for Saskia and Cricket.
I hope they like them... I'm not very good at figuring out what to get... Oh! I think I heard Cricket!
December 25th, 2006
Yesterday was a fun day! I gave Cricket and Saskia their presents and they really liked them! Saskia didn't have anything to give me back and she seemed a little down by it, so she gave me a protein drink mix. She didn't have to, I just wanted to give something to my friends... She liked her present I think, even made room on her desk for the picture.
Cricket liked her gifts a lot, I'm glad she did. I was worried that the plushie wouldn't be something she would like... She also got me presents too! A cricket plushie to keep Mr. Wiggles company, I think I'll name him Mr. Springs! She also got me a book... I'm happy that she is trying to help me with this... She got me a book about sex. She said it would help me make my own decisions. I wasn't sure what to think at first when I got it. I guess after my initial shock, I realized she was trying to help me...
Cricket has always been nice like that to me, helping me understand things that I don't. Like when she explained to me why the arboretum was called the make out spot. I'm happy that she helps me like that... I think she was right, that my parents sheltered me and made choices for me. Cricket said that book is unbiased, so it should help me make my own choices. I guess that's good... But how will I know which choices are right for me? I was taught it was dirty and wrong... Maybe I'll just start reading it and worry about it after I know more...
I really do like her gifts for me though, I didn't know she was gonna get me any. She's such a nice person, I hope the rest of my roommates are like this...
Yesterday was a fun day! I gave Cricket and Saskia their presents and they really liked them! Saskia didn't have anything to give me back and she seemed a little down by it, so she gave me a protein drink mix. She didn't have to, I just wanted to give something to my friends... She liked her present I think, even made room on her desk for the picture.
Cricket liked her gifts a lot, I'm glad she did. I was worried that the plushie wouldn't be something she would like... She also got me presents too! A cricket plushie to keep Mr. Wiggles company, I think I'll name him Mr. Springs! She also got me a book... I'm happy that she is trying to help me with this... She got me a book about sex. She said it would help me make my own decisions. I wasn't sure what to think at first when I got it. I guess after my initial shock, I realized she was trying to help me...
Cricket has always been nice like that to me, helping me understand things that I don't. Like when she explained to me why the arboretum was called the make out spot. I'm happy that she helps me like that... I think she was right, that my parents sheltered me and made choices for me. Cricket said that book is unbiased, so it should help me make my own choices. I guess that's good... But how will I know which choices are right for me? I was taught it was dirty and wrong... Maybe I'll just start reading it and worry about it after I know more...
I really do like her gifts for me though, I didn't know she was gonna get me any. She's such a nice person, I hope the rest of my roommates are like this...
December 29th, 2006
The last couple days I haven't been able to do much. I've spent time getting to know Cricket more, she's really neat. I like hanging out with her, though I feel a little silly sometimes when she has to explain things to me. I didn't know that there were so many different ways of saying things. She said they call it slang. That's a funny word. She really likes music, so we've spent lots of time listening to music in her room.
I haven't mentioned this to her but I have heard some of her thoughts... I try not to do it but its hard given that it takes me so much focus to control my powers. Some of her thoughts are confusing... She thinks of me a lot, I guess that makes sense she's my friend... Though, I don't know its kinda confusing. Maybe I should read her thoughts more... But I don't want her to think that I'm prying into her personal thoughts... Oh I don't know what to do...
I've been reading that book she got me, its informative. But I'm confused now... Why did my parents tell me it was wrong and dirty? Maybe I should read more... Maybe the answers there...
The last couple days I haven't been able to do much. I've spent time getting to know Cricket more, she's really neat. I like hanging out with her, though I feel a little silly sometimes when she has to explain things to me. I didn't know that there were so many different ways of saying things. She said they call it slang. That's a funny word. She really likes music, so we've spent lots of time listening to music in her room.
I haven't mentioned this to her but I have heard some of her thoughts... I try not to do it but its hard given that it takes me so much focus to control my powers. Some of her thoughts are confusing... She thinks of me a lot, I guess that makes sense she's my friend... Though, I don't know its kinda confusing. Maybe I should read her thoughts more... But I don't want her to think that I'm prying into her personal thoughts... Oh I don't know what to do...
I've been reading that book she got me, its informative. But I'm confused now... Why did my parents tell me it was wrong and dirty? Maybe I should read more... Maybe the answers there...
January 1st, 2007
Well its a new year, I didn't have anyone to spend it with so I stayed in my room reading that book more. I think I may understand why my parents told me what they did, but I'm not sure really why they would think that themselves. The book says it is a natural thing for two people to express how they feel about each other and my parents had to have done it for me to exist. So then it must not be dirty or wrong, otherwise how could I be here now? I also learnt that there isn't a restriction to who can do it. The book says that both girls and boys can do that with other girls or boys. I'm not sure what to think about that. Science class says that reproduction can only happen with a boy and a girl, so why would a girl do that with a girl? I haven't read that chapter yet cause... I'm not sure what I should think about that.
I know when I first met Cricket she said if she didn't have a boyfriend she would be after me. Does that mean she likes girls too? That might explain to me why she thinks so much of me... I know she said her boyfriend left her recently... Does this mean that if I want I could like boys and girls? I don't understand why though... I know when Matt was still here Summer talked to me about how she like girls, I think she said she was a lesbian actually... I hope the chapter explains that to me... Maybe that's why Matt stopped talking about her and finished school? He just didn't know what to think himself about Summer? Have I been blaming her for then for no reason? Maybe I should apologize to her...
I haven't gotten a chance to see Matt, I know he's busy with his job, and his girlfriend... Tiffany? I think that's her name. She sounds nice, maybe he can introduce me to her one day, but I'm not gonna try and push the subject with him. I don't want him to think that he has to worry about me. I'm doing okay here now, and I think if I wait for him to come to me, he'll see that. I wonder what he will think if he found out I was reading this book? I think its best that I don't tell him till I make my decision.
Well its a new year, I didn't have anyone to spend it with so I stayed in my room reading that book more. I think I may understand why my parents told me what they did, but I'm not sure really why they would think that themselves. The book says it is a natural thing for two people to express how they feel about each other and my parents had to have done it for me to exist. So then it must not be dirty or wrong, otherwise how could I be here now? I also learnt that there isn't a restriction to who can do it. The book says that both girls and boys can do that with other girls or boys. I'm not sure what to think about that. Science class says that reproduction can only happen with a boy and a girl, so why would a girl do that with a girl? I haven't read that chapter yet cause... I'm not sure what I should think about that.
I know when I first met Cricket she said if she didn't have a boyfriend she would be after me. Does that mean she likes girls too? That might explain to me why she thinks so much of me... I know she said her boyfriend left her recently... Does this mean that if I want I could like boys and girls? I don't understand why though... I know when Matt was still here Summer talked to me about how she like girls, I think she said she was a lesbian actually... I hope the chapter explains that to me... Maybe that's why Matt stopped talking about her and finished school? He just didn't know what to think himself about Summer? Have I been blaming her for then for no reason? Maybe I should apologize to her...
I haven't gotten a chance to see Matt, I know he's busy with his job, and his girlfriend... Tiffany? I think that's her name. She sounds nice, maybe he can introduce me to her one day, but I'm not gonna try and push the subject with him. I don't want him to think that he has to worry about me. I'm doing okay here now, and I think if I wait for him to come to me, he'll see that. I wonder what he will think if he found out I was reading this book? I think its best that I don't tell him till I make my decision.
January 4th, 2007
Today I met a really interesting person. Her name is Alli and she's a cat! Well a person cat... She's really neat! She said she was just like me one day and then she fell asleep in this temple and she woke up a kitty. That must've been scary but she seems to be okay with it. We talked a bit and I gave her a number she can reach me at. She's around my age I think... I never really asked her, but she seems to like being a cat. She said she was looking for a place to stay, I hope she finds one. A kitty shouldn't be without a home... I hope I talk with her soon again. Oh! I should get Cricket to meet her!
I also met a friend of Matt's. Her name is Kris O'Sullivan and she said she used to go to Saint Joseph too. She recognized my uniform. She's like me! Well... Sorta... She can only feel other peoples feelings... She fights crime just like Matt... I wish I could use my powers to help people... But I don't like hurting people... Maybe Kris could help me? Maybe I should just try to figure this out on my own... I don't know... I passed her a message to give to Matt to come get his Christmas present before she had to run. She's so nice...
I... I don't know what to even think of my powers. I like to float but if I don't concentrate I fall... I'm getting better at it but I still have to focus. I kinda like how I can do things with my mind, like move things and stuff but, I... I don't want to do what those people made me do... I... I don't have nightmares anymore about then but... I remember hurting those people... Matt said he would protect me from them, but I don't want to have to rely on Matt all the time... Maybe I'll talk to a councilor again, if not to control my powers better but maybe understand them more... They said my potential was off the scale... I don't even know if that's good or bad...
Today I met a really interesting person. Her name is Alli and she's a cat! Well a person cat... She's really neat! She said she was just like me one day and then she fell asleep in this temple and she woke up a kitty. That must've been scary but she seems to be okay with it. We talked a bit and I gave her a number she can reach me at. She's around my age I think... I never really asked her, but she seems to like being a cat. She said she was looking for a place to stay, I hope she finds one. A kitty shouldn't be without a home... I hope I talk with her soon again. Oh! I should get Cricket to meet her!
I also met a friend of Matt's. Her name is Kris O'Sullivan and she said she used to go to Saint Joseph too. She recognized my uniform. She's like me! Well... Sorta... She can only feel other peoples feelings... She fights crime just like Matt... I wish I could use my powers to help people... But I don't like hurting people... Maybe Kris could help me? Maybe I should just try to figure this out on my own... I don't know... I passed her a message to give to Matt to come get his Christmas present before she had to run. She's so nice...
I... I don't know what to even think of my powers. I like to float but if I don't concentrate I fall... I'm getting better at it but I still have to focus. I kinda like how I can do things with my mind, like move things and stuff but, I... I don't want to do what those people made me do... I... I don't have nightmares anymore about then but... I remember hurting those people... Matt said he would protect me from them, but I don't want to have to rely on Matt all the time... Maybe I'll talk to a councilor again, if not to control my powers better but maybe understand them more... They said my potential was off the scale... I don't even know if that's good or bad...
January 5th, 2007
I've been thinking a lot about Cricket lately... I really like hanging out with her but she's worried that I'll be alone and has been trying to find out what type of boys I like... I don't even know if I like boys though... I do like being with Cricket though. She makes me laugh, and she's really nice to me. Even when I ask her questions or don't understand what she says. I feel really funny around her though at times. I'm not sure if its me though or what she's feeling though.... I know she likes being with me too but I think its for different reasons... Is it because she now doesn't have a boyfriend that wants to spend all this time with me?
No... I make excuses to be with her... Maybe I like her because she doesn't have a boyfriend now? I... I don't know... I read the chapter about two girls being together... I... I'm too embarrassed to even write what I read... But, I... liked it. Could... Cricket and I be like that? I've never really liked boys... I just don't know what to think of them... But when I'm with Cricket, I just feel all funny inside... Is that what love is? I wish I knew if I could find out...
Oh, I know! There's a dance coming up! I could ask if she wants to take me. I know she didn't want to go there because she didn't have a date, but I could be her date now! I'll talk with her tomorrow about it. Oh! That means I'll have to get a dress! I... I think I have enough money to buy one... Oh... I didn't think about that... But I really want to do this with Cricket... It'll help cheer her up, I think and maybe I'll know if I like her for sure...
I've been thinking a lot about Cricket lately... I really like hanging out with her but she's worried that I'll be alone and has been trying to find out what type of boys I like... I don't even know if I like boys though... I do like being with Cricket though. She makes me laugh, and she's really nice to me. Even when I ask her questions or don't understand what she says. I feel really funny around her though at times. I'm not sure if its me though or what she's feeling though.... I know she likes being with me too but I think its for different reasons... Is it because she now doesn't have a boyfriend that wants to spend all this time with me?
No... I make excuses to be with her... Maybe I like her because she doesn't have a boyfriend now? I... I don't know... I read the chapter about two girls being together... I... I'm too embarrassed to even write what I read... But, I... liked it. Could... Cricket and I be like that? I've never really liked boys... I just don't know what to think of them... But when I'm with Cricket, I just feel all funny inside... Is that what love is? I wish I knew if I could find out...
Oh, I know! There's a dance coming up! I could ask if she wants to take me. I know she didn't want to go there because she didn't have a date, but I could be her date now! I'll talk with her tomorrow about it. Oh! That means I'll have to get a dress! I... I think I have enough money to buy one... Oh... I didn't think about that... But I really want to do this with Cricket... It'll help cheer her up, I think and maybe I'll know if I like her for sure...
January 6th, 2007
Today was such a busy, surprising day! I think I'll start with Cricket... My whole day revolved with her! I woke up early and went looking for her to talk about the dance with her. We've been using my neat trick I have gotten the hang of which is talking in her head! Its really neat and no one can hear us... Well unless they can read minds too... I like being in her head, when I focus on her thoughts I don't her anyone elses but hers and mine... Its so calm and quiet. I asked her about the dance and she seemed really didn't want to go but I really wanted to try and cheer her up. She's been in such a depressing mood, and I'm sure this would make her happy!
It took a while but she finally agreed! I was so happy! I then asked her if she could help me understand why two girls would want to be together. She seemed kinda flustered at first, I guess it was such a huge change of conversation, but she promised she would help me understand if she could. She explained she was hesitant at first because she was worried of taking advantage of an innocent. I'm not sure what that means though...
While talking with Cricket I met Firetastic, she's so neat! We didn't talk much, but I hope we do in the future. She decided she was going to hangout with for a bit today which was fun.
After talking for a bit, all of us went dress shopping. I bought a cute dress that was simple but looked pretty. When I showed Cricket what I got she didn't know what to say. She eventually said that she liked it a lot and that made me happy. I'm confused though why the clerk insisted I had to buy these black silk panties though... She insisted when I told her it was for a special dance at my school. Maybe Cricket can explain that to me though... Cricket's dress was amazing, but she returned it and got a different one that was just as amazing. She had a nice scarf and some gloves! It was very pretty... Fire also got some clothing, but not a dress for the dance. She had forgotten about it. She seemed a little embarrassed but her outfit she got was neat. Cricket like it a lot.
We decided after dress shopping to go dancing at Pocket D. This place is always so big and loud, but its okay. I'm used to hearing so much noise already. We danced for a while, and a bunch of creepy guys stared at us. Cricket called them perverts and changed into her swimsuit! And then Fire did that too! I was so embarrassed but I kinda liked what they did.... Is that wrong of me? Oh! Kris showed up too at Pocket D and was happy to see Cricket again. They were friends, so it was neat to know that Cricket and Kris knew each other from before. We all danced for a while but then Fire and Kris had to leave.
Cricket and I stayed dancing for a while, I really enjoyed spending the day with her. It was so much fun and being alone with her. And then she surprised me by kissing me. I wasn't sure what to do! I... I was confused but I really liked it. So I kissed her back. I asked her why and she said that it felt like the right thing to do... She was worried that I was upset but I was really happy that she did. I had never kissed anyone before, and having her as my first kiss was really special. I think that's what finally helped me decide that I would want to learn even more about girls from her. She said she was gonna tell me about other kisses later on, I didn't even know there was different ways! Oh! There she is, I'm so excited to what other ways you can kiss are!
Today was such a busy, surprising day! I think I'll start with Cricket... My whole day revolved with her! I woke up early and went looking for her to talk about the dance with her. We've been using my neat trick I have gotten the hang of which is talking in her head! Its really neat and no one can hear us... Well unless they can read minds too... I like being in her head, when I focus on her thoughts I don't her anyone elses but hers and mine... Its so calm and quiet. I asked her about the dance and she seemed really didn't want to go but I really wanted to try and cheer her up. She's been in such a depressing mood, and I'm sure this would make her happy!
It took a while but she finally agreed! I was so happy! I then asked her if she could help me understand why two girls would want to be together. She seemed kinda flustered at first, I guess it was such a huge change of conversation, but she promised she would help me understand if she could. She explained she was hesitant at first because she was worried of taking advantage of an innocent. I'm not sure what that means though...
While talking with Cricket I met Firetastic, she's so neat! We didn't talk much, but I hope we do in the future. She decided she was going to hangout with for a bit today which was fun.
After talking for a bit, all of us went dress shopping. I bought a cute dress that was simple but looked pretty. When I showed Cricket what I got she didn't know what to say. She eventually said that she liked it a lot and that made me happy. I'm confused though why the clerk insisted I had to buy these black silk panties though... She insisted when I told her it was for a special dance at my school. Maybe Cricket can explain that to me though... Cricket's dress was amazing, but she returned it and got a different one that was just as amazing. She had a nice scarf and some gloves! It was very pretty... Fire also got some clothing, but not a dress for the dance. She had forgotten about it. She seemed a little embarrassed but her outfit she got was neat. Cricket like it a lot.
We decided after dress shopping to go dancing at Pocket D. This place is always so big and loud, but its okay. I'm used to hearing so much noise already. We danced for a while, and a bunch of creepy guys stared at us. Cricket called them perverts and changed into her swimsuit! And then Fire did that too! I was so embarrassed but I kinda liked what they did.... Is that wrong of me? Oh! Kris showed up too at Pocket D and was happy to see Cricket again. They were friends, so it was neat to know that Cricket and Kris knew each other from before. We all danced for a while but then Fire and Kris had to leave.
Cricket and I stayed dancing for a while, I really enjoyed spending the day with her. It was so much fun and being alone with her. And then she surprised me by kissing me. I wasn't sure what to do! I... I was confused but I really liked it. So I kissed her back. I asked her why and she said that it felt like the right thing to do... She was worried that I was upset but I was really happy that she did. I had never kissed anyone before, and having her as my first kiss was really special. I think that's what finally helped me decide that I would want to learn even more about girls from her. She said she was gonna tell me about other kisses later on, I didn't even know there was different ways! Oh! There she is, I'm so excited to what other ways you can kiss are!
January 9th, 2007
Today was a slow day. I talked with a councilor about my powers a bit. I have been talking with this councilor a lot in the past when I first came here but I never really thought of things with her as much. Its mostly chat about my past and stuff... Most if it can't really remember, just stuff Matt told me. Oh! I've never talked about the councilor in my diary before. Her name is Ms. Valerie Atwood. She lets me call her Valerie, she's really nice. She doodles while we talk, its neat. Today she was asking me about why I was afraid of my powers. I really didn't know how to respond to it... I guess its mostly cause I'm afraid of hurting people, but I think its because its what make me different. I used to get picked on a lot, people would call me names, say I was cheating on tests, and stuff in school back home... But here, I don't feel that way now... I don't know, she said that I should think more about my powers and try to resolve my fears with them. She said she would help me with that if I wanted with more talks about it, so I look forward to that.
After I finished talking with Ms. Atwood, I went looking for Tara. That's Cricket's first name! I like calling her Tara now... She was just finished her job for today so she took me to go see her workplace. It was in Steel Canyon! That place is huge! So many tall buildings, it must be neat for her to work there! She showed me this nice quiet spot and we talked for hours. Over the last couple of days I've been feeling different about Tara. I see her more then a friend and we talked about that. I explained how I felt to her and she seemed worried, but I told her that decided this and not her. She seemed really happy about that. I wasn't sure if this meant I was in a relationship but when I asked her she hugged me tightly saying yes. That means I have a girlfriend now! I think... Tara showed me some interesting things that made me feel happy being with her, but then she had to go back to work again. I said it was okay and we agreed to meet again later tonight. I can't wait till she gets home. I wonder what we are gonna do?
Its kinda funny... She said she was gonna help me understand girls and then we ended up dating each other. This is much better then her trying to figure out what type of boys I like... I'm still not sure what to think of boys though, but now that I'm with Tara I won't worry about that. I can skip that chapter in the book then! Oh, I hope she gets home soon! I wanna watch some movies with her again tonight...
Today was a slow day. I talked with a councilor about my powers a bit. I have been talking with this councilor a lot in the past when I first came here but I never really thought of things with her as much. Its mostly chat about my past and stuff... Most if it can't really remember, just stuff Matt told me. Oh! I've never talked about the councilor in my diary before. Her name is Ms. Valerie Atwood. She lets me call her Valerie, she's really nice. She doodles while we talk, its neat. Today she was asking me about why I was afraid of my powers. I really didn't know how to respond to it... I guess its mostly cause I'm afraid of hurting people, but I think its because its what make me different. I used to get picked on a lot, people would call me names, say I was cheating on tests, and stuff in school back home... But here, I don't feel that way now... I don't know, she said that I should think more about my powers and try to resolve my fears with them. She said she would help me with that if I wanted with more talks about it, so I look forward to that.
After I finished talking with Ms. Atwood, I went looking for Tara. That's Cricket's first name! I like calling her Tara now... She was just finished her job for today so she took me to go see her workplace. It was in Steel Canyon! That place is huge! So many tall buildings, it must be neat for her to work there! She showed me this nice quiet spot and we talked for hours. Over the last couple of days I've been feeling different about Tara. I see her more then a friend and we talked about that. I explained how I felt to her and she seemed worried, but I told her that decided this and not her. She seemed really happy about that. I wasn't sure if this meant I was in a relationship but when I asked her she hugged me tightly saying yes. That means I have a girlfriend now! I think... Tara showed me some interesting things that made me feel happy being with her, but then she had to go back to work again. I said it was okay and we agreed to meet again later tonight. I can't wait till she gets home. I wonder what we are gonna do?
Its kinda funny... She said she was gonna help me understand girls and then we ended up dating each other. This is much better then her trying to figure out what type of boys I like... I'm still not sure what to think of boys though, but now that I'm with Tara I won't worry about that. I can skip that chapter in the book then! Oh, I hope she gets home soon! I wanna watch some movies with her again tonight...
January 11th, 2007
Today was a interesting day. I woke up early and snuck out to try and find a new book. The book Tara got me was and still is helpful for me, but I want to know more. Tara was right, that book helped me make my own decisions. Sex isn't dirty or wrong. I still don't understand why my parents would think that they needed to make me think that... I suppose I'll never know...
While I was out I ran into Firetastic! She's so neat, I just call her Fire though. We talked for a bit and she said that she needed me to meet with her Uncle to pass over some stuff. I had no idea what to look for but she said that I would know him when I saw him. She was right! He was dressed like a giant chicken! It was weird but he was really nice. He gave me the stuff for Fire and then gave me a lot of money for the trouble. I didn't know it was trouble... I was just helping Fire. He then quickly ran off and Fire came back. I wonder why she couldn't get this from him? I gave her the stuff he gave me and when I asked her about the money, she said it was fine. He does work for charities and sometimes he receives rewards for his work, which he then gives to other people. That's really nice! Fire then took me to a place that her Uncle always took her when she was young. It was scary! There were these HUGE monsters and they walked around this island. She said her uncle used to come here and fight these monsters all the time. He must be really strong to do that...
Fire and I went out to lunch then. I took her out for sushi but I don't think she liked it. I ate most of the food, but she said it was okay. I hope she wasn't upset with my choice. I promised her next time we could go have lunch at a place that she liked next time. She had to run soon after lunch though but she promised we'd do more stuff in the future. She's really nice! I think we're friends now. She seems really curious about me and Tara though... Is she interested in girls too? I know she thought a lot about how cute I was... Like how Tara did when we first met...
I spent the rest of the day looking for any good books to help me, but I didn't have any luck. I'll have to look for it later though, Tara and I have plans tonight! I love being with her! She shows me so much neat things and makes me feel good. I wonder what we will do tonight though?
Today was a interesting day. I woke up early and snuck out to try and find a new book. The book Tara got me was and still is helpful for me, but I want to know more. Tara was right, that book helped me make my own decisions. Sex isn't dirty or wrong. I still don't understand why my parents would think that they needed to make me think that... I suppose I'll never know...
While I was out I ran into Firetastic! She's so neat, I just call her Fire though. We talked for a bit and she said that she needed me to meet with her Uncle to pass over some stuff. I had no idea what to look for but she said that I would know him when I saw him. She was right! He was dressed like a giant chicken! It was weird but he was really nice. He gave me the stuff for Fire and then gave me a lot of money for the trouble. I didn't know it was trouble... I was just helping Fire. He then quickly ran off and Fire came back. I wonder why she couldn't get this from him? I gave her the stuff he gave me and when I asked her about the money, she said it was fine. He does work for charities and sometimes he receives rewards for his work, which he then gives to other people. That's really nice! Fire then took me to a place that her Uncle always took her when she was young. It was scary! There were these HUGE monsters and they walked around this island. She said her uncle used to come here and fight these monsters all the time. He must be really strong to do that...
Fire and I went out to lunch then. I took her out for sushi but I don't think she liked it. I ate most of the food, but she said it was okay. I hope she wasn't upset with my choice. I promised her next time we could go have lunch at a place that she liked next time. She had to run soon after lunch though but she promised we'd do more stuff in the future. She's really nice! I think we're friends now. She seems really curious about me and Tara though... Is she interested in girls too? I know she thought a lot about how cute I was... Like how Tara did when we first met...
I spent the rest of the day looking for any good books to help me, but I didn't have any luck. I'll have to look for it later though, Tara and I have plans tonight! I love being with her! She shows me so much neat things and makes me feel good. I wonder what we will do tonight though?
January 12th, 2007
I met new people today! Well not new really, but new to me! They were very nice... I hope they will be my friends... The first one is Weed. She's a funny girl. She's a plant! Well... a plant person. She's really neat. She talks kinda funny though, but I can understand her. She's friends with Fire. They seem to know each other really well. The other girl is Myrania. She's mysterious! I didn't get to talk with her very much but she seems nice. Maybe I can get to know her more later on when we have more time...
After I finished meeting them we all went to the hot tub. It seems to be a popular place to hang out now... I still don't have a bathing suit though... I should buy one with the money that Fire's uncle gave me but I don't know what to pick... Tara has such a tiny bathing suit... I like it a lot but I could never wear anything like that! I try not to stare but I can't help it... She's my girlfriend now and I like being with her. I just worry if other people look at her like I do...
Tara had to go to work early today, so I went back to trying to find a new book. I'm still having a hard time... Clerks look at me odd when I ask for a book with the description I give and just point me in a vague description of where to find "that material". They make it sound like its bad... I don't understand why though... Are they like my parents too? Oh! Tara's home!
I met new people today! Well not new really, but new to me! They were very nice... I hope they will be my friends... The first one is Weed. She's a funny girl. She's a plant! Well... a plant person. She's really neat. She talks kinda funny though, but I can understand her. She's friends with Fire. They seem to know each other really well. The other girl is Myrania. She's mysterious! I didn't get to talk with her very much but she seems nice. Maybe I can get to know her more later on when we have more time...
After I finished meeting them we all went to the hot tub. It seems to be a popular place to hang out now... I still don't have a bathing suit though... I should buy one with the money that Fire's uncle gave me but I don't know what to pick... Tara has such a tiny bathing suit... I like it a lot but I could never wear anything like that! I try not to stare but I can't help it... She's my girlfriend now and I like being with her. I just worry if other people look at her like I do...
Tara had to go to work early today, so I went back to trying to find a new book. I'm still having a hard time... Clerks look at me odd when I ask for a book with the description I give and just point me in a vague description of where to find "that material". They make it sound like its bad... I don't understand why though... Are they like my parents too? Oh! Tara's home!
January 13th, 2007
Today I used my powers... I'm not sure why I agreed to help at first but... I did... I guess I did it cause Saskia said she needed help and I haven't been able to see her much. I miss hanging out with her... Why does she disappear all the time? Oh well... I have Tara now and she keeps me company... I just wish Saskia was around so I could do stuff with her too...
We had to fight robots... Saskia said it was alright to use my powers since robots can't feel things... Maybe that's why I helped her... Cause I knew my powers wouldn't hurt them... I don't know... Then I found out it was Synapse who was asking for help! I hadn't seen him in a long time... Not since he took us from Portal Corp to Saint Joes... I don't know if he remembered me though... He mostly talked with Matt... I decided to help still though... He called us Task Force Speed! That's a very unoriginal name... Maybe if I used my powers against these robots I could learn how to make them not hurt people?
We fought LOTS of robots, ALL over Paragon! I've never traveled so much. It was fun being with Saskia and some other students... We even had to fight a GIANT robot! He tried to sneak up on us but we heard him and stopped him! Saskia is so brave! She charges right at the robots and calls them names! She seems to get hurt a lot but doesn't show it... She's so tough! I used my powers a lot to heal her and the other students... These robots were mean and tried to hurt us all the time... I wonder why they did what they were doing? Didn't they know they were doing bad things?
I later found out why though, they were being told by a strange robot with a jar of water for a head to do those things. He said he was the Clockwork King! Are these robots the clockwork that Matt told me about? We managed to stop him and then two other heroes showed up to take away the Clockwork King... I think Saskia said they were Positron and Sister Psyche... They must be important cause the other kids seemed excited when they arrived... Sister Psyche looked at me funny and then I heard her in my head! She said I was very brave to do what I did and that if I wanted I could come see her later if I wanted. I wonder what she meant though! Maybe she wants to help me? She seems to be able to do what I do! That would be neat! Maybe she can help me not hurt people with my powers!
Tara was at work all day today, so she'll be tired when she comes home... She works hard at her job a lot... But she seems to enjoy it... Maybe I should get a job? I don't want Tara to think that she has to work for both of us... I'll talk with her about it when she's home... But first I have to make sure she eats something! She always skips meals!
Today I used my powers... I'm not sure why I agreed to help at first but... I did... I guess I did it cause Saskia said she needed help and I haven't been able to see her much. I miss hanging out with her... Why does she disappear all the time? Oh well... I have Tara now and she keeps me company... I just wish Saskia was around so I could do stuff with her too...
We had to fight robots... Saskia said it was alright to use my powers since robots can't feel things... Maybe that's why I helped her... Cause I knew my powers wouldn't hurt them... I don't know... Then I found out it was Synapse who was asking for help! I hadn't seen him in a long time... Not since he took us from Portal Corp to Saint Joes... I don't know if he remembered me though... He mostly talked with Matt... I decided to help still though... He called us Task Force Speed! That's a very unoriginal name... Maybe if I used my powers against these robots I could learn how to make them not hurt people?
We fought LOTS of robots, ALL over Paragon! I've never traveled so much. It was fun being with Saskia and some other students... We even had to fight a GIANT robot! He tried to sneak up on us but we heard him and stopped him! Saskia is so brave! She charges right at the robots and calls them names! She seems to get hurt a lot but doesn't show it... She's so tough! I used my powers a lot to heal her and the other students... These robots were mean and tried to hurt us all the time... I wonder why they did what they were doing? Didn't they know they were doing bad things?
I later found out why though, they were being told by a strange robot with a jar of water for a head to do those things. He said he was the Clockwork King! Are these robots the clockwork that Matt told me about? We managed to stop him and then two other heroes showed up to take away the Clockwork King... I think Saskia said they were Positron and Sister Psyche... They must be important cause the other kids seemed excited when they arrived... Sister Psyche looked at me funny and then I heard her in my head! She said I was very brave to do what I did and that if I wanted I could come see her later if I wanted. I wonder what she meant though! Maybe she wants to help me? She seems to be able to do what I do! That would be neat! Maybe she can help me not hurt people with my powers!
Tara was at work all day today, so she'll be tired when she comes home... She works hard at her job a lot... But she seems to enjoy it... Maybe I should get a job? I don't want Tara to think that she has to work for both of us... I'll talk with her about it when she's home... But first I have to make sure she eats something! She always skips meals!
January 15th, 2007
Today I went to see one of the heroes who showed up a couple of days. His name was Positron. He's odd. He's in this weird metal suit and it glows. He said that Sister Psyche asked him to make this psi limiter thingy to help me control how strong my powers are. That was really nice of her, but I don't know how this helps me with my powers... When he was showing me how it worked though he had a bunch of problems start happening all over Paragon and wanted help with it. Then a bunch of students from school showed up to help! Why do so many students like to use their powers like this? Aren't they worried about hurting people? They saw me there so they asked me to help them... I didn't want to let them down so I did. He called us Task Force White Sands. Now that's an original name! I liked it!
We had to fight all sorts of weird things. More of those clockwork robots... Some smelly things that I later learnt were Zombies! I had no idea that there were the living dead here! Well... I guess I shouldn't be so surprised, one of the girls on the cheersquad is a ghost... But still! It was creepy! And we had to fight some people who were really crazy! They were called Circle of the Thorns... What does that mean anyways? Somehow though all of them were after the same thing but for different reasons and we had to stop them all! It was really scary and during the last fight the psi limiter broke! I didn't want to say anything with the other students around cause they might have been worried... When I showed Positron though he laughed and said it wasn't anything to worry about. He said that he suspected that technology and science wouldn't be able to help me and suggested that I talk with Sister Psyche again to for more formal training. I'm glad he wasn't disappointed with me, but I wish I felt like him...
Tara and I spent the night watching movies again, I was really tired and fell asleep while we did that. She woke me up for dinner and we watched some more movies. I love spending time with Tara, she makes me feel so much better. I told her about what I had to do today and she was really proud of me for trying. Knowing that Tara is proud of me at least trying helped me feel a lot better about my powers. Maybe she's right, I should keep trying to control them and maybe if I understand them more I can make them not hurt people. Tara and neat powers too, but I haven't asked her about them. Maybe I'll ask her one day, but right now I'm just happy being with her.
Today I went to see one of the heroes who showed up a couple of days. His name was Positron. He's odd. He's in this weird metal suit and it glows. He said that Sister Psyche asked him to make this psi limiter thingy to help me control how strong my powers are. That was really nice of her, but I don't know how this helps me with my powers... When he was showing me how it worked though he had a bunch of problems start happening all over Paragon and wanted help with it. Then a bunch of students from school showed up to help! Why do so many students like to use their powers like this? Aren't they worried about hurting people? They saw me there so they asked me to help them... I didn't want to let them down so I did. He called us Task Force White Sands. Now that's an original name! I liked it!
We had to fight all sorts of weird things. More of those clockwork robots... Some smelly things that I later learnt were Zombies! I had no idea that there were the living dead here! Well... I guess I shouldn't be so surprised, one of the girls on the cheersquad is a ghost... But still! It was creepy! And we had to fight some people who were really crazy! They were called Circle of the Thorns... What does that mean anyways? Somehow though all of them were after the same thing but for different reasons and we had to stop them all! It was really scary and during the last fight the psi limiter broke! I didn't want to say anything with the other students around cause they might have been worried... When I showed Positron though he laughed and said it wasn't anything to worry about. He said that he suspected that technology and science wouldn't be able to help me and suggested that I talk with Sister Psyche again to for more formal training. I'm glad he wasn't disappointed with me, but I wish I felt like him...
Tara and I spent the night watching movies again, I was really tired and fell asleep while we did that. She woke me up for dinner and we watched some more movies. I love spending time with Tara, she makes me feel so much better. I told her about what I had to do today and she was really proud of me for trying. Knowing that Tara is proud of me at least trying helped me feel a lot better about my powers. Maybe she's right, I should keep trying to control them and maybe if I understand them more I can make them not hurt people. Tara and neat powers too, but I haven't asked her about them. Maybe I'll ask her one day, but right now I'm just happy being with her.
January 17th, 2007
Today I went to talk to Sister Psyche about my powers like Positron suggested. She wears very revealing clothing, I was a little embarrassed when I first saw it a while back, but now being up close alone with her, I was even more embarrassed. I guess she knew why and she calmed me down. She explained to me that I wouldn't just suddenly have control over my powers, that it would take a very long time and that she couldn't teach me everything. I understood that it would take time, but I was a little disappointed that she said she couldn't teach me everything... I hate how no one seems to be able to fully help me...
She taught me some simple exercises, but they didn't seem to really work. She said she would try and tougher one but then Erika showed up. She said that Sister Psyche had some work lined up for them, and wanted to know if I wanted to help. I was hesitant but she encouraged me on, so I did.
We had to fight a group of really crazy people. They called themselves the Freakshow. They had robotic parts and stuff, it was really creepy... They were really nuts... They were planning on blowing up whole sections of the city... But we stopped them! When we went back to Sister Psyche she simply smiled and said she knew we could do it. I watched the rest my school mates head off and I was gonna join them but Sister spoke in my head again. It wasn't as scary though this time. She said she would continue to teach me, just as long as I promised to accept my powers. I said I would try.
When I got home Tara was already there waiting for me, I was so happy to see her again. She said that we were going out for dinner, so we quickly left. It was really good! I was really hungry too, Tara said that I ate twice my weight! I know she was joking but it made me feel kinda bad for eating so much. Afterwords we went home and listened to her music, but I fell asleep again after eating so much and using my powers a lot again. Tara didn't wake me this time, it wasn't till later I realized and she just laughed saying she didn't mind me using her as a pillow.
Today I went to talk to Sister Psyche about my powers like Positron suggested. She wears very revealing clothing, I was a little embarrassed when I first saw it a while back, but now being up close alone with her, I was even more embarrassed. I guess she knew why and she calmed me down. She explained to me that I wouldn't just suddenly have control over my powers, that it would take a very long time and that she couldn't teach me everything. I understood that it would take time, but I was a little disappointed that she said she couldn't teach me everything... I hate how no one seems to be able to fully help me...
She taught me some simple exercises, but they didn't seem to really work. She said she would try and tougher one but then Erika showed up. She said that Sister Psyche had some work lined up for them, and wanted to know if I wanted to help. I was hesitant but she encouraged me on, so I did.
We had to fight a group of really crazy people. They called themselves the Freakshow. They had robotic parts and stuff, it was really creepy... They were really nuts... They were planning on blowing up whole sections of the city... But we stopped them! When we went back to Sister Psyche she simply smiled and said she knew we could do it. I watched the rest my school mates head off and I was gonna join them but Sister spoke in my head again. It wasn't as scary though this time. She said she would continue to teach me, just as long as I promised to accept my powers. I said I would try.
When I got home Tara was already there waiting for me, I was so happy to see her again. She said that we were going out for dinner, so we quickly left. It was really good! I was really hungry too, Tara said that I ate twice my weight! I know she was joking but it made me feel kinda bad for eating so much. Afterwords we went home and listened to her music, but I fell asleep again after eating so much and using my powers a lot again. Tara didn't wake me this time, it wasn't till later I realized and she just laughed saying she didn't mind me using her as a pillow.
January 20th, 2007
Today was a very special day! Very special!
The beginning of the day was pretty bland, I mostly made sure I had everything I needed to make sure I was ready for tonight, cause it was the big dance!
I've never really worn make up, but I put a little on for tonight. I must've spent hours getting ready, I was so nervous! I don't even know why I was nervous though... I put on my dress and showed it off to Mr. Wiggles and Mr. Springs. I felt so special already wearing this dress! I quickly hurried to see if Tara was ready, she said she was waiting for me. I felt kinda bad for making her wait, but she said it wasn't that long, she quickly closed the door to her room. It was kinda odd, she never does that with me...
The dance was fun. Everyone was there! I didn't know most of the people there! Tara and I danced for hours, I was so happy... I wanted the night to go on forever. Kali even gave me and Tara a present! I got a little kitten plushie that meows when you squeeze it! Its so cute! I think I'll name him Mr. Whiskers. Tara got a beautiful ornament, she really liked it. I wonder why Kali got us gifts? Then they said there was gonna be a King and Queen crowned and we had to vote for it! I didn't really understand it but in the end Joni and Mana won. I don't really understand it still but it was really neat! Not long after that though Tara said she had to go, but she told me to come back to the dorms in ten minutes. I was a little confused so I did.
When I knocked the the door, Tara just told me to enter and quickly shut the door. It was really dark but I could see cause she had lit some candlesand filled the whole place with rose petals! It was so romantic! She said she wanted me just to fall asleep like a princess since I looked like one. It was so sweet! She said I'm still gonna have to sleep without rose petals after tonight even if does smell really good, it was just for tonight. I told her it didn't matter, I just liked that she cared. Maybe we can sleep again with rose petals next week...
Today was a very special day! Very special!
The beginning of the day was pretty bland, I mostly made sure I had everything I needed to make sure I was ready for tonight, cause it was the big dance!
I've never really worn make up, but I put a little on for tonight. I must've spent hours getting ready, I was so nervous! I don't even know why I was nervous though... I put on my dress and showed it off to Mr. Wiggles and Mr. Springs. I felt so special already wearing this dress! I quickly hurried to see if Tara was ready, she said she was waiting for me. I felt kinda bad for making her wait, but she said it wasn't that long, she quickly closed the door to her room. It was kinda odd, she never does that with me...
The dance was fun. Everyone was there! I didn't know most of the people there! Tara and I danced for hours, I was so happy... I wanted the night to go on forever. Kali even gave me and Tara a present! I got a little kitten plushie that meows when you squeeze it! Its so cute! I think I'll name him Mr. Whiskers. Tara got a beautiful ornament, she really liked it. I wonder why Kali got us gifts? Then they said there was gonna be a King and Queen crowned and we had to vote for it! I didn't really understand it but in the end Joni and Mana won. I don't really understand it still but it was really neat! Not long after that though Tara said she had to go, but she told me to come back to the dorms in ten minutes. I was a little confused so I did.
When I knocked the the door, Tara just told me to enter and quickly shut the door. It was really dark but I could see cause she had lit some candlesand filled the whole place with rose petals! It was so romantic! She said she wanted me just to fall asleep like a princess since I looked like one. It was so sweet! She said I'm still gonna have to sleep without rose petals after tonight even if does smell really good, it was just for tonight. I told her it didn't matter, I just liked that she cared. Maybe we can sleep again with rose petals next week...